Dating a Former Seminarian


Hi to make a long story short, I am dating a wonderful man who almost a year ago was told by his spiritual leaders in the seminary program he was part of that they were letting him go. They told him he was free to date and live the life of a late twenties man. Fast forward to now, we’ve been dating a couple months or so, and there are strong feelings between us, however both of us are some what scared that he might go back to the seminary. He has a meeting in a few months with his spiritual advisors from his former program, and is not sure what they’ll say. He also said that he has to wait two years from his release date to reapply.

What I wonder is if anyone has any advice on how to handle this on my side of things? I already love him, and want to see where we could go. But am so afraid of the unknown.

Has anyone dealt with this before? Does anyone know how often a seminarian who is let go of, is accepted back or asked to come back?

Any advice would be so greatly appreciated. I’m constantly praying and asking for God’s help with patience and understanding for all of this, but I’ve never known anyone with this kind of back ground or situation.

Thank you so much, and God Bless.


Depending on why he was "let go" it would be up to him whether or not he wanted to go back so really the question you (and he) need to be asking is whether he still feels called to priesthood.

Unfortunately, vocational discernment is far from a clear process but as St Paul wrote, we walk by faith and not by sight. So really it's about trusting that God will help guide you and him towards the path that is best for both of you. Pray, obviously, as you journey but also don't forget to talk to him about how you're feeling and listen to the voice of God speaking in your heart.


My dad left the seminary to take care of his father after he was diagnosed with cancer. He planned on returning soon after my grandad's death but was instead drafted into the army. He then planned to return to seminary after his time in service. While on leave after boot camp he met the new choir member at Mass. She was planning on joining the convent. Six months and three days later they got married. Over the next 30 years they had six children and over 30 foster children. Jan. 11 would have been their 40th wedding anniversary and on Feb. 17th I gave birth to their 23rd grandchild and we probably arent done yet. So far there are 2 great-grand kids as well.

Dad always said if God wants you at the alter, He will get you there one way or the other. Either as a priest or as a husband. He said the seminary is the best place to become either one of those. You learn the truth of our faith and learn how to put it into practice as well. I've met several other former seminarians who are now husbands and fathers. The religious ed director at our former parish also was in the seminary. His wife was in the convent for 6 years but never took her vows. She was asked to leave because Mother Superior felt she wasn't called to the religious life. They have been married 55 years, have 8 children, 52 grandchildren and 16 great grandchildren so far.

One of my cousins joined the monastery for a while. He left and planned to marry. Three years later he was in the seminary. Again he left thinking he was called to marriage. Now, he dated in high school and college, but at this time he was not involved with anyone. He just felt he should or at least wanted to marry. My cousin has been a priest for five years now and couldn't be happier. God has plans for each of us and He finds the way to make them happen. Praying for both of you


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