Dating a Protestant pastor


#1

I’ve been dating a non denominational bible Christian Protestant pastor. I knew him before he was a pastor and he has changed his life around and went to a jimmy swaggart bible college and his family started a church and asked him to pastor it. Now my question is I am a practicing Catholic and I attend mass every Sunday me and my daughters. And after mass I will go to his church as a support and listen to him preach. I no longer let my children attend the other kids because they where told that non Christians (Catholics) would not be raptured, as they believe in a pre trib rapture. Also one asked my daughter how she knew so much and she said well I’m catholic and she was told you mean you where a catholic your a Christian now? And my daughter told her no I’m a catholic Christian! And she asked her so you haven’t left the church yet? And my daughter told her I will never leave the church. She also told her the reason she knows so much is because we read the same book (bible) lol little smart allec humor of my twelve year old. Anyway am I wrong for attending there service after mass? I don’t allow my children to learn from them nor do I accept some of there dogma which I am not afraid to say so. Though they may have a similar foundation in Christ, they lack much on many other issues. This hasn’t exactly drove a wedge in between my relationship as I am very stern about not leaving my catholic faith, but it has made rocky ground for me and his family because sometimes they can be anti catholic. I tell him all the time preach the gospel but don’t be anti catholic, we are trying to find a common ground because I told him he would have to marry me I’m the church so I can keep my sacraments. But I think he prays for my conversion. Am I in for one?


#2

Well, good luck to you! He sounds likely a worthy man. Just raise your children in the faith as before, carry on with mass, and you pray for his conversion. He’s probably a more devout Christian than many Catholics. I’d agree with not letting your Children attend their services. And God Bless both of you!


#3

I’m going to tell you an answer you don’t want to hear.

If your faith has its place in your life that it should, break off this relationship.

If you marry this fellow, he will (rightly) claim his authority to be the spiritual head of your household, and he WILL impose his beliefs on you and your family. Your children will be exposed to an atmosphere of confusion, and, despite your probably not seeing it today, conflict.

Find a faithful Catholic man strong in his faith. Such creatures DO exist.


#4

Well your right on he is a devout Christian compared to allot of catholic men I know, his love for Christ is one of the things that drew me to him and his prayer life, I’m more concerned about his family, it feels like they are always trying to convert me or my kids with little things. Like his mom asked me have you seen left behind? The movie I knew exactly why she wanted me to watch it I just kind of responded no I think jenkins and lahay are wormwood and I don’t really like their work. By the look on her face I don’t even think she knows where her own dogma came from, she probably thought I was talking about the directors of the movie because she didn’t say anything


#5

I hate to say it, but I fear this will eventually be a cause of great stress for you.

Graduates (and faculty) of Jimmy Swagget Bible College believe strongly that Catholics are not Christians.

Tim Staples of Catholic Answers has discussed this extensively, as he went to school there. He was dating a girl there who eventually left him when it became apparent that he was becoming Catholic and would never change his mind.

I suggest you purchased this CD or MP3

I fear that you boyfriend will eventually only stay with you if you leave the Church. Even if that’s not his will, eventually, he may feel pressure from his congregation.

You might be better off by attending his Church because you MIGHT be sending him mixed messages. In otherwords, as long as you attend his church, he will have hope that you might convert.

As someone who is in an intrafaith marriage, I know first hand the headaches, stress, and frankly heartbreak it causes.

I suggest you strongly pray on this, and I wish you all the best.

God Bless


#6

I married a Protestant. It is a long, hard spiritual road. Separate churches on Sunday. Disagreements over the baptizing of the children. Do not go into this with rose colored glasses, it’s doable, but not easy. Fortunately after 13 years of marriage my spouse went through RCIA and became Catholic. But your man would have to give up his job in order to convert.

And stop going to any Protestant services, you don’t think they are influencing you but they are. I understand you want to show support, but does he go to Mass to show you and your children support in your faith? Or is this “support” a one way street? Just things to consider. Also, if he is a Protestant worth his salt he will most likely continue and even ramp up his “evangelizing” to you. That has been my experience.


#7

I am aware of this, I had no intentions on this relationship going like this. And I am more then willing to break it off if i have to compromise my faith. But he’s never asked me to. It’s his family that is the reason I know I cannot marry him at this time. Although he has stood up for me to them and told them especially when it comes to my kids they cannot speak against Catholicism to us. He knows I will leave him for that reason, he’s even said I never cared to learn about Catholicism the only reason I care about it now is because your in it. I’ve told him and even given him books explaining the mass that it is all biblical. He really does respect my faith. But his family not so much.


#8

If you marry him you will be a protestant pastor’s wife. As such certain things will be expected of you. Having grown up in a non denominational protestant church I can attest to the fact that the pastor’s wives were often very involved in the ministry. Would you be able to balance your responsibilities as the pastor’s wife while also holding on to your beliefs? I also don’t see his congregation looking kindly on you as a Catholic, they would probably expect you to convert as he does. If he wasn’t the pastor your relationship might stand a chance but as it is I just don’t see it working well. Have you talked to your priest about this yet?


#9

Nice! Maybe get him some Dr Scott Hahn and Steve Ray books for starters.

Also, I highly suggest FORMED.org. The Symbolon series on there would be great for him.

God Bless and Good Luck


#10

Sorry, I misread your post. It’s not him but his family…

I have friction with my in-laws, and it does cause some strife in our marriage, but we are able to work through it.

Pray and consult a priest.


#11

I have talked to my priest. He’s been very supportive of my feelings as I’ve told him I cannot leave my sacraments. He told me well if he’s along the lines of Pentecostal it’s not so bad the Holy Spirit is bringing you to confession lol but my priest did say he is more then willing to talk to him basically pastor to pastor on what is expected of my faith in the church, also any questions he may have. My priest doesn’t seem concerned because he sees how devout I am. He’s more then willing to even talk to him on my behalf. He knows I’m not going anywhere.


#12

You shouldn’t let the family draw you away from the man. If you persevere, teach your daughter the right values (which it very much sounds like you are doing) and make clear to him you have no intention of converting, you can have exactly the blossoming relationship very many mixed-denomination couples end up enjoying.


#13

You do know the Church permits mixed marriages regardless on whether it’s the bride or groom that’s Catholic?


#14

Just being honest, this doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. Granted, I am an Internet stranger and I do not know you, so I could be making ignorant judgments. But based on what you’ve shared, this doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Sure, marriages between two people of different faiths work out all the time. But it’s hard, especially if both parties take their faith very seriously. As others have pointed out, if you marry him, he will be the spiritual head of he household. Are you willing to let him teach your children his beliefs? Are you going to raise the children in division? How welcome will you be, being a Catholic in an environment that is hostile to Catholicism?

I can’t make you do anything, and I know you’ll probably not like to hear this, but if it were me, I’d try to look for someone who shared more of my beliefs. Personally, I don’t like the idea of raising my potential future children in a divided household.

This is your choice. It is your life. But please, take what others have said into consideration. Good luck.


#15

Excellent questions.


#16

I do know this. This is why we are trying to find a common ground


#17

I was replying to a previous poster whose reply I disagreed with. I know you do. God Bless!


#18

Not at all that’s why I’m here asking I want to hear every ones opinion good and bad, this is how you gain perspective and thank you for your response.


#19

A pastor to pastor conversation would probably be helpful to both of you. The two of you should talk also about what he envisions your “future” role in his church to be. (Should you get married.)


#20

This is good! Before any real commitment is made, discuss what is expected (both ways).


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