[quote="flyingfish, post:15, topic:177294"]
Most people meet for entirely trivial reasons. Normal people don't plan trivial conversations, but most people also meet their friends just to be in their presence, or to "hang out".
And planning a trivial conversation would be exactly it - after all, we're talking about a scheduled event. ;)
Do you think she needs some kind of "real" reason to have lunch with her ex?
If the ex is not otherwise a friend, yes. If the ex is at the same time a friend, no, not at all.
Many people just have a need to meet with their friends at least once a week to maintain the friendship.
Depends. I suppose most people have a dozen or so good friends and another dozen or so (being arbitrary here) that are "above" acquaintance (bigger figures for college students). Even if everyone lived in the same town, which most often is not the case, giving each of them an hour a week in addition to work and/or study would result in a very serious position in the week plan. Let's say a weekday is 8 hours work or study, 2 hours commute and/or similar, 7-8 hours sleep, 1 hour total meals etc. That's five hours remaining. Some people have slightly more, some have less or much less. An hour per week per friend is not very realistic here. Anyway, this isn't part of the core subject here.
Oh right, it's unlikely that this is taking place. If it were, she probably wouldn't be telling him she is having lunch with her ex, and wouldn't argue with him about whether she should. She'd just do it.
Depends on the personality. Most people have some need for openness and affirmation. Others thing they should be allowed "something", or "something" is not a problem and shouldn't be etc.
I think the far bigger issue here is that it bothers the OP so much, and that the fact that it bothers him suggests that he is too attached to her, too dependent on her that the idea of her leaving him scares him.
True, and it reminds me of myself some 4 years ago. On the other hand, you can't have a healthy relationship without attachment or without depending on each other, let alone without caring if the other person leaves us.
That is something that he should work on for his own benefit, because in real life people love you one day and aren't interested the next.
You need to take that into account and you need to learn to deal with it, but you need to pick people who won't. Especially for more than friends.
Relationships end all the time, for that matter plenty of marriages do as well. He needs to find a way to be at peace with this possibility for his own benefit, since chances are it will happen to him and more than once.
To an extent yes, but I totally do not believe in psychological preparation for possible divorce and that's totally not the way to look at a spouse or future spouse. Incidentally, as this is again rather far from the original topic, one needs to find someone who does believe in marriage for life, without divorce, till death do us part (someone who expressly reserves for himself the right to divorce is incapable of contracting a valid marriage at all and authorities responsible for celebration are obliged not to proceed if this might be the case).