Is it adultery to hold hands or kiss someone when you are divorced and in the annulment process? I’m not so sure about that. Is it fornication when two single people date and kiss and hold hands?
From the advice that I have been given by a couple of different priests, it is okay to go out socially, but one needs to be very clear that you can not enter into a relationship where there marriage is being proposed. Close emotional relationships are not necessarily sinful, but can be imprudent, I have been advised.
I’ve got to admit, going through the soul searching needed to be in the annulment process, it feels very strange to me to have people on these forums tell me that I must behave exactly as if I were married. To me that seems like it would require me to deny reason and logic. I know the truth, and I am waiting for the Tribunal to confirm the truth. The way I live my life is in no way like a married person. I don’t live with my “husband”. I spend a lot of time alone.
That being said, I’ve gone on two dates during this time period. The first was with someone who has never been married, but wants to get married. That was a mistake. He did not seem capable of understanding where I was, and clearly was wanting a relationship, wanted to hold my hand and tried to kiss me, which I dodged. That just did not sit well with my conscience at all. I had been pretty clear and upfront with him in advance, but I guess he didn’t get it.
Then this weekend I went out with someone who is in the same place that I am at right now. I know enough to know that his grounds for an annulment are very good. We went to watch the start of a bike race since he is an avid biker, then went out for lunch, then sat on some rocks at the beach for a couple of hours and talked. It was really nice and just the sort of a thing I think we both needed. No pressure, just a nice conversation with someone who I could really relate to. I have no idea if we will go anywhere from there, or if we may end up being friends. I did enjoy it though, and in no way does it equate to adultery. If we had held hands, and maybe even if we had kissed, I don’t know that that would have been sinful. I think it depends more on the thoughts and intentions behind those acts, because I don’t think that they are objectively sinful acts in and of themself.