Dating If Being Called


#1

If you check out the thread that I started "My Vocation Testimony" it states that I have been considering the priesthood lately. I feel that God might be calling me, but I don't feel that I am quite ready to discern the call yet. I am about to graduate from high school and have decided that before I even think about going to a seminary, because I don't feel that I am ready for it yet, I am going to go to college and pursue a degree. I figured that will give me four years to grow in my relationship with the Lord and will give me a chance to better see what He wants me to do for Him.

I feel that I am not ready to pursue my priestly vocation, if I have one, because I am not very educated in my faith and I have never truly gotten involved in parish life or had a close relationship with a priest in my life nor have I ever had proper catechesis on the faith. I know what I know from reading and research. I am a baptized Catholic but the "Catholic" parish that I am from is not in communion with my diocese and it's barely a parish in my mind. I haven't learned much from going to that parish, don't worry I will be leaving it once I graduate from high school and leave home and I will be looking for an actual parish.

I know, for those of you who have read my forums before, to have me write the same information again is annoying, but I do it for the sake of those who don't know me yet, or my situation. And another and probably bigger reason that I feel that I am not yet ready to pursue the call is because I also feel that God might be possibly calling me to the vocation of marriage. I know that, as a Latin Rite Catholic, I can't be called to both, but only one or the other. I don't have a girl in my life right now, but that doesn't mean it will remain that way in the future. If I feel that I might be called to the Holy Priesthood but am not quite ready to discern it, or if I don't quite yet know if I have the calling, would it be a good idea to talk to girls, go out on dates or even possibly have a relationship here or there and see if God is calling me to marriage, or should one abstain from that altogether and go straight to the seminary and focus solely on my priestly vocation.

Because what if in the future I meet a girl who totally catches my eye and I want to talk to her or if I catch the eye of a girl who wants to talk to me, should I completely ignore it because I am feeling called to be a priest, or should I go for it, because that might be a sign from God that He is not calling me to become a priest, but to become married. I have heard from people before telling me, keep your mind open to the idea of dating, don't run from it. And I've heard others say, "If you feel like you're being called to the Holy Priesthood, don't have anything to do with girls. They're a danger to your vocation discernment."

I just want to hear from a few more about what you all think I should do. As I said right now, I am not in a true parish, nor do I have any contact with any priests in my diocese at present. But once I leave home, I am going to try to make some contact with them and also ask them about what I should do. I am just trying to keep the peace in my household right now because my mother is a staunch Trady and it would cause a lot of problems if I had anything to do with "Novus Ordo" priests as she calls them. But once I leave, there's nothing she can do about it, will she be mad? Sure, probably (not that I want to intentionally hurt my mom) but if I am out of her sphere of influence, there's nothing she can do about it.

God bless you :cool:


#2

you to a degree have answered your own questions :

Because what if in the future I meet a girl who totally catches my eye and I want to talk to her or if I catch the eye of a girl who wants to talk to me, should I completely ignore it because I am feeling called to be a priest, or should I go for it, because that might be a sign from God that He is not calling me to become a priest, but to become married. ******
{As I said right now, I am not in a true parish, nor do I have any contact with any priests in my diocese at present.}

Your own answer :

**I feel that I am not ready **to pursue my priestly vocation

{if I have one, because I am not very educated in my faith and I have never truly gotten involved in parish life or had a close relationship with a priest in my life nor have I ever had proper catechesis on the faith.} : this second part here is not a reason to disqualify yourself from considering a religious vocation, you get that specific education once you have discerned enough to the point to where you feel some sense of a true calling to a religious life; no one is required to know everything nor be super involved in a parish. You could perhaps be involved in other things that involve the corporal works of mercy, volunteering … etc…

Because what if in the future

: that is the problem right there, the future is unknown, don’t waste time speculating.

I am not in a true parish

: ever heard of a " roaming catholic " i tech belong to one parish that is close to me, but rarely go to it because they do not have evening mass avail on Sundays’ which is easier for my mother to go to, so we go to evening mass across town, or sometimes we go to our " technical parish " on rare Saturday vigil mass which is in the evening. Also keep in mind the deffinition of " Catholic " means Universal.

I just want to hear from a few more about what you all think I should do.

Keep your mind,heart, and soul open to God and you will be fine, other than that all you can do is make up your mind and choose the best you can with what you know. All anyone else has for you even parents is an opinion. It is your life. Eventually what mom and dad think, only ends up being their opinion and all that a parent can hope for is that they brought their child(ren) up properly with the best that they knew; an will not end up a criminal or veer too far from the faith.

other than that if you are truly feeling at this point in time you are not being called to a religious life, then that leaves you to be a single guy who is open to dating in a responsible manner, dating is not a commitment marriage is, though dating is courting to hopefully marriage so at some point you have to discern again if you really want to continue dating or do you want to find out if you have a true calling to a religious life. If you feel the calling becoming stronger you have to be honest with what ever female is in your life be it as a friend or girlfriend.

And don’t forget to calm down.


#3

Yes, I remember that "staring the world in the face" feeling just before finishing high school. I see no harm in visiting a seminary or two, as that may be the only way of discerning in the midst of the ambiguity in which you swim.

We do not go out with persons we would never consider marrying. To do otherwise is to cause a great loss of time.

Please be careful with girls these days, as wicca is prevalent, and some seek a man in order to get pregnant for human sacrifice/abortion purposes. That being said, you need to learn to be comfortable with persons of all kinds.

If you meet your spouse, you will have the "too good to be true" and "I gotta have that woman" experiences. Otherwise, follow this inclination to the seminary.

Blessings,
Cloisters


#4

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