Dating/Marrying Someone With Children

It seems like the dating world is just full of people who already have children. This is true of the younger cohort, and even more so among the older singles.

Since my own childhood, I have always felt that I did not want marriage or children. Nor did I want to be around a woman who had children from a previous relationship

The thrust of this is that I wouldn’t want to marry a woman with children, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t want to marry a woman without children.

Women are great. I love them. But they are too much trouble, with or without children.

I am just one guy, though. Everyone is entitled their own opinion.

If you are single, how do you feel about dating or marrying someone who already has children?

As a single woman with children, I would advise you not to date women with children. We are definitely trouble.

I am a recently widowed man after only 2 years of marriage. I am 24. Before I got married, I wanted to be with a woman without children. Now, however, I am not as concerned about it. For some reason, after being married, and realizing that I am getting a little older - and that relationships do take time- I am much more willing to date or even marry a woman with children from a previous relationship.

LOL! I’m assuming that was directed at the OP?

My poor boyfriend, he is doomed.

So true. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit!!! LOL

dulcissima,

oh yes we are! I was a single Mom of 2 children. That was the greatest comeback ever!:thumbsup:

Frankly, if you have no intention of marriage you really shouldn’t be dating at all. The purpose of dating is to discern a marriage partner.

I wouldn’t marry someone with children already, for two reasons:

A) The other parent will always be around, and exes should stay long gone.

B) The kids will say “You are not my Mom!”

Too much for me to handle, but for some people it might work.

If the situation merited it, I would.
The other parent would have to be dead, though, and the marriage a stable relationship.

I probably wouldn’t consider dating a divorcee or a guy who had an child previous to being married unless the woman had comepletely abandoned them. Still it would be tough.

However, I’m a firm believer that marriage is a calling. It’s not just a called to be married but WHOM to be married to. You marry a person in union with Jesus, you aren’t just called to marry anyone. Jesus knows you perfectly, but if you need to be prepared to give all.

you’re 24, you’re not old
i was 30 when i got married

since you don’t like either women or children, and your attitude in general toward other people with whom you might potentially share a relationship is “will they cause me a lot of trouble” my best advice is to abandon entirely the thought of marriage. That should simplify your dating life since there won’t be any.

before you even consider dating a woman, with or without children, please rent Jerry McGuire and watch it

I did marry someone with children and I cannot emphasize enough what Country Singer listed. Also, you should wonder whether the person with children had their marriage annulled. If not, then that person is still married in the Church’s eyes, and you would be wrong to begin dating him or her.

What about a widow with children? Does that make the situation more acceptable?

In my humble opinion, yes! But I wouldn’t use the word “acceptable.” Acceptable by who? But I would say it is different. Not necessarily a good situation to begin with, because after all, the family lost a spouse and parent. But life moves on and hope springs eternal.

By the way, in a situation where one spouse is deceased, it is my understanding that there is no need for the surviving spouse to seek an annulment before entering into matrimony again.

Quite true. In the case where a spouse dies there is nothing to annul since marriage ends with death.

However a surviving spouse can expect to have to show proof (death certificate) that the the spouse died.

And then the deceased spouse is put on a pedestal. I once dated a widower, and the first time he did that, I was out of there. :slight_smile: I can’t compete with the saint his past wife was.

Again, words of wisdom from Country Singer. I might add, the children will have fond memories of their deceased parent, too.

This is not to say that this situation can never work, only that you should consider these factors.

does the “I’m wise” dance

Or maybe it is just from enough time in the dating battlefield. :smiley:
I did feel bad ending it, but I know the first time I did something bad, he would have said “Well, SHE would have never done that because she was perfect. And you can’t speak ill of the dead”. :slight_smile:

Hey!

“Country Singer” (aka: Carrie Underwood wannabee :rolleyes: ) is back from the jaunt!!

Welcome “home”!

:smiley:

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