Dating outside the Church?


#1

I have been dating this guy for a while now and things are going great. I really love him and he is such a great guy. I met his family this weekend and found out that his mom has a girlfriend that lives with her. As a very conservative Catholic I was freaked out by this news and am now confused on what to do in this situation. Finding this news out does not change who the guy is. I am just wondering what I can do about this and if it is okay for me to continue in this relationship? Let’s say down the road we get married and have kid’s. Is it okay for their “grandmas” to be in the kids life? I am really stuck in a bind as to where I go from here. I know that it is wrong for his mother to be acting on these gay feelings and do not know what to do. Any advice would be great!?!?!?!?


#2

I personally think dating outside of the faith is a bad idea. If the faith is the core of who you are, that is the thing you should share with the person who will be the primary person in your life and with whom you will establish a Catholic household and family.

Ignoring the gay mom situation, what is the situation with the boyfriend? Is he non-practicing? Is he practicing another religion/denomination? Is he on board with Catholic teaching on morality, etc? Does he attend Mass with you? Is he willing to actively and supportively raise children in the Catholic faith? The first thing to focus on is who HE is and who you would be as a WE.

Secondly, what does HE think about his mom? Is he fully on board with the fact that lesbian sexual practices are an abomination against God? Does he support the Church’s teaching that SSA is not sinful but SS acts are? Would he be willing to limit interaction with his mother if necessary to protect innocent children from this lifestyle? Because it will be your DUTY to shield children from the lesbian relationship and lifestyle and to proclaim the Gospel and the truth on morals.

If the answer to these questions are “no” then… you know what to do.


#3

I am also in a relationship with a man who is not Catholic (though he has a desire... he attends mass with me). I guess i would ask him what he thinks about his Mom's situation and her girlfriend. If he sees nothing wrong with it, then it may pose as a problem for you two down the road. From my own personal experiences, its best if you agree on the same basic morals as your man.


#4

What 1ke said.


#5

Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Let him know that you're uncomfortable with his mother in a homosexual relationship and you want to know how he feels. Don't jump to any conclusions because it may be that he feels the same way as you, but because it's his mother he tries to be more accepting.

Definitely find out if your moral leanings are the same. It's one thing to different on the small stuff but when you're talking about a core foundation of one's self you need to be either on the same page, or 100% accepting of the difference.


#6

[quote="leenie13, post:1, topic:178151"]
I have been dating this guy for a while now and things are going great. I really love him and he is such a great guy. I met his family this weekend and (JUST) found out that his mom has a girlfriend that lives with her. As a very conservative Catholic I was freaked out by this news and am now confused on what to do in this situation. Finding this news out does not change who the guy is. I am just wondering what I can do about this and if it is okay for me to continue in this relationship? Let's say down the road we get married and have kid's. Is it okay for their "grandmas" to be in the kids life? I am really stuck in a bind as to where I go from here. I know that it is wrong for his mother to be acting on these gay feelings and do not know what to do. Any advice would be great!?!?!?!?

[/quote]

By your own words, you've been dating him a while, and you are very conservative, and somehow he didn't think it important to alert you of this very issue sometime earlier?

I could be mistaken, but either he has no idea of how conservative you are, or he doesn't think it matters - Either one should raise a HUGE RED FLAG :eek: this early in the relationship. A man should be the spiritual leader of a strong family. As mentioned earlier, if he is not Catholic or accepting of you keeping your morals intact and raising your children Catholic you are in for big trouble.:blush:


#7

Dating outside the church, if you are strong in your faith, is taking a HUGE risk. You could lose your faith, many MANY topics will come up that will be challenging, and if you ever do get married you won’t have the beautiful part of a marriage where you hold each other accountable and help each other grow in faith and help your children grow in faith.

I dated an agnostic for almost 2 and a half years, and I HIGHLY advise getting out before you grow even more attached. It becomes harder the longer you go on.

Please pray about it and be open to whatever God has to say. You never know, maybe it is where he is calling you, but you need to find out. Go to adoration if you can.


#8

Some women will not date prince Charming if he smokes a cigarette, but, will go all ga-ga over someone who does not share the same faith... Date practicing Catholics, it will make your life so much easier.


#9

[quote="kage_ar, post:8, topic:178151"]
Some women will not date prince Charming if he smokes a cigarette, but, will go all ga-ga over someone who does not share the same faith... Date practicing Catholics, it will make your life so much easier.

[/quote]

AMEN, sister, PREACH IT!! :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:


#10

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