[quote="flyingfish, post:9, topic:179812"]
I'm not a guy, but from my experience those types of guys are the ones who turn into possessive, controlling crazies who later come to lose it when you spend time with a male friend.
True, but some of those guys are just insecure and wounded as a result of past history, not necessarily being proper crazies. It may be hard to tell which is which. Generally, when I was more touchy about such things, I didn't mind friendly contact or natural reactions of a female organism to an attractive male (yes, I can tell, no, I don't always mind, though it doesn't make me particularly ecstatic). Problems started when a girlfriend seemed to seek validation from other guys or when I was feeling shortchanged or when something else was amiss.
[quote="Sierrah, post:8, topic:179812"]
Thanks guys. You all pretty much said what I thought. It's nice to know I wasn't way off in my thinking. I believe a few guys have resented my ability to just go off and do certain things at certain times like dancing, hiking, short trips with friends or sometimes in groups. I'm not at all clingy and kind of like my own space to do that stuff occassionally. I'm not a flirt either so if I go out it's just to enjoy an activity not to be on the lookout for guys weather they are part of the activity or not. :thumbsup:
I once was in a long-distance relationship with a girl who did seem to need or appreciate a bit too much validation from other guys and in that case I worried about guys around her probably to a slightly paranoid degree, though I might have been right in reality. The other time I was in a long-distance relationship with a different girl, who was very loyal, but who at times seemed to have time for and need time with friends much more so than with me, leading to short or interrupted conversations (e.g. you expect 3 hours but someone pops in after 15 minutes and she's away, or she talks to 2 or more people at once, so you get a line every 3-5 minutes rather than real time), or she would go to bed early when staying up talking was the alternative, but not so when partying with friends was one (she did make up for that at times, bless her heart, good girl she was). I felt underrated and low-priority. Wasn't that good for my self-esteem, or I should probably fess up and say my ego. She didn't seem half as bothered as I was about limiting contact (half of a half of a half would be it), but only until I actually got used to that state and my system built up mechanisms to deal with it, meaning I learnt not to need her company so much. She noticed that and it wasn't that great for her. She felt she was the initiating one in the relationship then, whereas I was growingly content and sometimes even tempted to do other things than talking to her or I was the one taking a long time and typing poor quality responses. These things are probably easier when it's not long distance because face-to-face contact is more intense, so it suffices for longer and the "longing" is less intense too. If there's any less from my story, it's that miscommunication and lack of willingness to walk a mile in each other's shoes are a nasty thing for relationships, and that intensity of contact needed is an important compatibility factor. Just don't "forget" your guy if and when he's there waiting for you if he's a less active type than you are (or when you're having a more active life than he is at the moment), but when he starts brooding, cut it short to make him snap out of it and tell him it's okay to tell (it might be difficult for a man to talk about that, as it makes us feel soft).