Dating Question


#1

I finally have met a nice women and went on a first date. She is Catholic and she did mention she belongs to a local parish near my own. We are planning to go on another date the weekend after Mother’s Day. I was thinking of asking her to go to mass with me at her Parish followed by brunch. My question, probably to the ladies of the group or men who can give dating advice is do you think this is corny or would you be impressed. I really think I like her but do not want to appear to come on to strong.

Thanks!


#2

I would be SO impressed!

I think it definitelysets the right empahsis for what the relationship should be :slight_smile:


#3

NOT corny.

Definitely a nice date idea.


#4

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:


#5

I do know women who would think that is rushing it, but I personally think it would be a really nice thing.


#6

Yes, I am leaning toward just the brunch as I do not want her to feel pressured in any way, she is a nice lady, and do not want to scare her.


#7

I am very impressed, that’s right up there with asking her parents permission to date her. VERY gentleman like. Sets the tone for the relationship right from the start. Good man for even thinking of this. :thumbsup:


#8

You could ask her to brunch and then add that you will pick her up around x o’clock after you get out of the the x o’clock Mass, then add: Would you care to join me at Mass?


#9

I think that is the perfect approach.


#10

thanks to all for the responses! I hate dating but learning to get to the good of all relationship you must go through the initial awkward phase of a relationship. I tend to worry to much about, will she like this shirt or say the wrong thing, for those you happily married, you are blessed this is over!


#11

Ha ha ha! I have been married for a thousand years (very happily, thank you!) and I always tell newlyweds that however BAD a marriage can get, it is NEVER as bad as having to go on a DATE!

But I promise you, when you find “the one” you WILL know it, and it WILL be worth it.


#12

thanks for the advice for an experienced person. Marriage seems like such a big decision; however, i have been told that when you know it is right it is not a decision at all. :slight_smile:


#13

Yes. That is true.

It only took four grown men, three horses and a couple of steel-chain cables to drag my DH to the altar. Scarcely any effort at all.


#14

I would hesitate about the Mass thing so soon. Praying with someone is a very very intimate thing to do. You can arrange to meet AFTER Mass and just be at the church. But part of me thinks that praying with someone on a second date is rushing it. If you are on future dates, having a spiritual aspect to your relationship and making visits to the Blessed Sacrament is a wonderful practice. I might just hold off on that just yet. Good luck! You sound like a really nice person! :thumbsup:


#15

You could ask her to brunch and then add that you will pick her up around x o’clock after you get out of the the x o’clock Mass, then add: Would you care to join me at Mass?

Prolly what I’d do, this approach takes some of the pressure off.


#16

Personally, I wouldn’t hate the idea of a second date starting by mass, but I wouldn’t like it neither.
As someone already said, prayer is an intimate thing, and going with someone would be…a huge thing for me.
And I don’t think I would be able to focus, because I’d think about what he’s thinking, am I sitting like a lady, if he sings - does he have a good voice, bla bla bla…
And since I know people from the parish, they would look at me and talk about who the guy next to me is.
Too much pressure, I don’t know…
I wouldn’t suggest mass + brunch, maybe just brunch, and if you want to put emphasis on religion in this stage, maybe start a discussion on some book or a religious topic etc.
Just my opinion…
Whatever you do, best of luck :thumbsup:


#17

Seems to me that if one has set one’s cap for a practicing Catholic spouse, getting the message out early that “I go to Mass every Sunday” would be a great way to start off.


#18

Great idea, mercygate!

McGivney4Saint: My husband asked to go to Mass with me one week into dating. He was not Catholic at the time. Love your screen name, BTW. My dear hubby is a 3rd degree Knight now, soon to be 4th. Rooting a relationship in the Faith is the best place to start.


#19

Hey, there are worse things in dating than picking the shirt. I assure you they care about a dozen things more than what shirt you pick. For starters, if they’re traditionally minded girls, they probably mind how you wear it more than what colour it is (that is, properly tucked in, ironed etc) and even when it comes to clothes, shoes are probably more important to them (got to shine) because they supposedly say something about your solidity. :wink:

In fact, I always have the shirt perfectly matched and it hasn’t got me anywhere, so you can see how unimportant it is. :stuck_out_tongue:

Dating is not a necessity. It’s a broken concept that was born say, hundred years ago, and is by no means a moral or ethical, much less a religious requirement. If you can go about it in a different way, do it. I do. I haven’t been on a date in the most semantically accurate sense in my whole life (I’ve used the very word “date” only jokingly and only a couple of times) and I’ve numbered a good number of failed relationship attempts by now. :stuck_out_tongue:

You don’t need to fit into the dating custom. Ask her to join you in whatever you want to be doing with her, if she agrees and it’s moral, then it’s fine. I generally take them to long and boring walks or invite them to coffee bars for sorry addicts. Perhaps a different approach would work for you. :stuck_out_tongue:

As for asking permission of the parents, I don’t like the implications. Adult people don’t need such permissions.

And by all means, if it’s moral and it doesn’t sound desperate to you, just say it and do it. Courage is the only necessary thing for victory sometimes. Be yourself and be bold. Only then will you find someone who actually likes you.


#20

I think this is a great idea! You both share the same faith. It would be natural for you to attend Mass together. I think it is the right foundation for any good relationship. (I met my husband at a parish mission. I met his parents after we joined them for a Eucharistic Holy Hour).


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