I’ve met someone on Catholicmatch and I like him and he seems very interested and even shared his phone number with me. He is catholic as far as I know according to his profile and accepts the church’s teachings, or at least most of them. Now, all this of course is assumed since I can’t really trust the profiles until meeting them. However, in his profile it says under his political views that he is Liberal. Should I keep our chatting and meet him more to find out about his faith or should I try to end it? I’m just very conservative and don’t want to make a relationship grow that I know will be contradictory. But I do like him so far. Is it ok to have differences or should I look for a guy that’s more like me?
Liberal views? Oh, the Horror, the Horror!!!
How ever could you have a relationship with someone who doesn’t agree with you on every single thing?
People define “liberal” and “conservative” differently. Until you know more about his views, there’s no reason to be thinking about “ending” it.
I agree with the first two responses. Just be extremely cautious until you know him much better.
You would really “end it” just because he says his political views are “liberal” in a paragraph on the profile without really exploring what that means? Is that really a deal breaker?
Hint: Catholicism is not politically conservative or politically liberal, and one can have views of either or both parties in one’s political philosophy.
What does that mean, exactly? “Conservative”. “Liberal”.
I think you should discuss your views at a deeper level after you’ve gotten to know each other-- it’s not necessary to vet their every view just to go on a date or have coffee with someone.
I dislike this false idea that Catholic = conservative = US American Republican . It simply isn’t true.
I don’t think you should assume he is or isn’t like you. You don’t even know him.
I guess I’m in the minority here. Your political views matter a lot to you. Do you want your children to be raised with a liberal father?
It’s not that hard to find a catholic conservative guy and there’s nothing wrong with ending things soon if political affiliation matters that much to you.
Haven’t you watched Seinfeld? Jerry and George broke up with so many girls for soooo many petty reasons. Jerry once broke up with a girl because under a certain light she looked uglier than under a different light
I’m very conservative. I dated a TON of liberals. Like almost exclusively. But I married a conservative. It never would have worked with the others.
You do realise that’s a telly programme? Not actually real?
People stop dating people for all sorts of reasons. I know a girl who stopped dating a guy because he ate a chicken wing in one bite and she was grossed out
Or maybe she didn’t want to waste her time if she wasn’t attracted to him
Stop wasting my time or other’s and don’t reply if you don’t have anything worth saying. You don’t have to be rude about it.
Whether or not you equate Catholic with being conservative or liberal in American parlance is frankly irrelevant to the discussion. If you are conservative, dating a liberal will likely drive you nuts. Doesn’t mean you cant meet and see what he is really like, but if you are opposites politically, it will likely never be a union the way it could be.
I have dated liberal girls, but like HD, married a conservative one. No liberal woman would want to discuss anything remotely political with me, to include beliefs on child rearing, marriage, and a whole host of issues. And it would have driven me nuts.
Doesnt mean he is wrong and you are right, just not a fit in most cases.
I’d classify myself as moderate that leans right.
Hubby is far more conservative than I am and always has been.
Politics is so diverse it’s ridiculous.
You could consider yourself a conservative but be pro choice.
You could consider yourself liberal but commit yourself to being a SAHM who homeschools.
To be honest…I have no idea what is considered to be truly conservative or liberal.
I have my own view points that don’t fit in either narrative.
I would date him. I stepped far out of my comfort zone as a former left leaning, agnostic who agreed to date a conservative Christian man.
It was the best decision I’ve ever made.
He convinced me about the whole Christiany thing but only managed to swing me to a moderate who is a little more right leaning than left.
I’ve changed some of his conservative ideas…mostly outdated views about women.
You could always ask him what he means by his views. At this point it sounds like your going on hypothetical concerns. If you get some clarity on what he really thinks then it might help to make a good decision. It also might help to gauge how you two interact about these types of issues ?
Come on that’s rude and personal.
My boyfriend is a conservative Catholic and I’m the leftyist leftist that ever lefted. We’ve literally stood on opposite sides of a protest/counter-protest before and then went on a perfectly pleasant date afterward.
We still have a lot of middle ground and we’ve agreed that our major differences stop at the door when we hang out together. It’s okay to not share every single opinion and ideology with your partner. It’s healthy. That isn’t to say that you should compromise everything, but just talk to the guy. Find out what he actually believes. Libs and lefties are nice people, too.
My goodness, Catholic Match does do strange things to one’s way of thinking.
You haven’t even met the guy, and you’re already considering writing him off because he checked one box instead of another. Take a step back for a moment and ask yourself about the boxes you checked when filling out your profile. Think about how your closest friends or family might have checked those boxes.
An online profile is not a human being who is created in the image and likeness of God. And writing someone off because of how they checked off this box or that box (and I’ll grant you, there were some deal breakers for me when I was on that site) can lead to objectifying the men on that site.
Now if you are passionate about your politics, and if you see political stands as black and white, and if you view those with opposing political views as being in grave error and in danger of eternal damnation – then yeah, call it quits and move on to someone else.
But if you can see the value and integrity of those with well-reasoned-albeit-different political views from your own, then agree to meet him for coffee.
Just a reminder to be safe when engaging in online dating. Research the man’s phone number, first and last name, etc. Basically, do a little Google-search stalking to make sure his story about himself is legit. And make sure to follow safety protocols when meeting the first few times – let a friend know where you’re going, set an alarm that could be a ringtone with an “emergency” you have to attend to, or even have a friend reading a book in the same coffee shop when you meet.
Honestly, the horror stories I could tell… and the success stories as well.
Best of luck in your searching. I’ll keep you in my prayers to the Archangel Raphael.
That sounds all well and good, but it really depends on what those differences are. Certain political issues are woven into every facet of our life. Our beliefs on the sanctity of life the definition of marriage are kind of integral. If the end goal is to ultimately marry the person and see them help raise our children, I would want them as far away from my children as possible.
And again I don’t see that person wanting anything to do with me either. How’s it gonna work when I tell her “I’m taking our daughter up to pray the rosary outside the abortion clinic” and she says “that’s fine, when you get back I’m gonna take her volunteer at Planned Parenthood.” That’s not something I’d ever allow, so how is that going to work? And our sons comes to me and says “mommy says x…” I now have to find a way to tell him “mommy doesn’t know she is talking about. Ignore what she said” without actually saying that.
I don’t want values I don’t esspouse or respect or even more strongly, outright reject and think contravene God’s desire, to be anywhere near my children when it comes to raising them. I’m guessing most people feel the same way. It’s just that those values are different for different people.
Things can be glossed over in dating initially, but it will come home to roost at some point. After knowing what the person is like, if you can’t tell yourself youd be happy with that person raising your children alone and teaching them those values you do not share, then don’t waste your time.
Online dating is a weird animal. People do things via online they would not do in person, such as ask very personal questions or know personal details well before getting to know someone as a person. And they can get very, very picky in a way that borders on the absurd.
When I was on Ave Maria a guy rejected my profile just because I was a convert and he only wanted to date cradle Catholics. It was kinda crazy. His loss, my husband’s gain.
Do him a big favor and go no further…it sounds like politics defines who you think who you are so much, building a relationship with him would be uncharitable.