Dating when there are differences in belief


#1

This is prompted by many things, particularly the post made today by belovedandbless (which can be read here: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=426925). I can understand where belovedandbless is coming from and it’s a shame that men have treated her the way they have. As a Catholic man I don’t want to ever do to her what other men have! But as a member of Catholic Match I have some questions about dating women and their values.

For those not familiar, CM will ask people using the service to respond to seven questions pertaining to Church teaching and whether or not they agree with them (the teachings on the Eucharist, contraception, sanctity of life, papal infallibility, premarital sex, immaculate conception, and holy orders). Nonetheless not every CM member agrees with all of these teachings and their profiles state this for all to see. Thus, for those so inclined, you can filter through profiles that don’t answer “yes” to all seven questions.

I myself have come-across many of these profiles but I don’t know what to do with them. Keeping in mind the situation of those who have had pasts and are over them but keep getting treated poorly, should I outright reject those women whose beliefs aren’t fully in-line with Church teaching or give the women a chance?

A part of me wants to give these individuals a chance because I realize that we may be compatible even though they may not fully agree with Church teaching and that, through time and personal contact, may come around to fully embracing Church teaching. But a part of me also says to skip over them because they don’t fully agree, but this seems cruel.

What are everyone’s thoughts on the matter?


#2

I dont think a lot of people that answer the faith questions understand what the thing is they are being asked to accept and reject. I have seen some where they accept the teaching on contraception but did not accept the teaching on abortion. Such a stance is ridiculous. I think you need to make the decision yourself. Do you want to take the chance of having a woman that you have struggles with over raising children or do you want a unified message? There is nothing wrong with talking or not talking to ANYONE on CM. You are free to talk with whoever you want that will also accept your invitation to talk. I personally do not recommend talking to anyone not within 100 mile or less range of your location. Long distance relationships are very tricky and are difficult to manage. If this means there are not many people to choose from, I suggest finding another dating service or trying your luck at a local church group. Unless you are willing to travel over a long distance to make it work, you will find yourself making a possibly terrible decision with little time interacting in person with the other. As hard as it may seem, feelings are easy to stir up in online settings and I know it is easy to fall hard for someone based on their online persona. I think avoiding these traps is more important than worrying about whether it is right or wrong to talk or not talk to people who accept or reject certain teachings.


#3

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