I am a single 33 year old female. I have read the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and believe in the fact that dating/courting is for the purpose of finding a spouse, not just for company on a Friday night. I also believe in all of the Catholic Church’s teachings, and studied theology of the body. I expect the same of my future spouse. I believe the purpose for marriage is for the spouses to get each other to heaven, trust their souls to each other, and raise children in the faith. I know that when times get hard in a marriage, feelings may come and go, but that love is a decision and you stick with it.
So I recently met someone from Ave Maria who is perfect. PERFECT! All of the “deal-breakers” are covered. We have discussed all of the major issues (faith, morals, values, children, finances, priorities, day to day time, etc) He is disciplined, has a good work ethic, and very kind. He is even a deacon candidate on a holding pattern until he gets married.
We met a few weeks ago, and he was perfect in person. Attractive, attentive to me, a perfect gentleman, a very giving person. Now I realize that after time his faults as well as mine will show up, but right now, there are no red flags. If this were an arranged marriage, it would work out fine.
Here’s the problem. I don’t have any kind of “feelings”. I completely understand that love is a decision, but I know there’s got to be some kind of romance and draw to the person. Part of me is being cautious because I have had my heart broken before by men who were gung-ho at first, then stopped. (He’s gung-ho, by the way.)
Am I over-romanticizing it? Could the vocation of marriage possibly be drier for me than for others? I read success stories from the Catholic dating sites and there are so many that have such a romantic story. I hate to compare, but when discerning such an important decision, I’m trying to consider all avenues. I realize love can grow, which I am very open to.