Daughter doubts faith


#1

16 yr old who doesn't want to go to Mass because of the way the Church "treats" homosexuals. Attented Catholic school K -8 now in 11th grade at public high school- this is her third yr at this high school (US News and World reports ranks it as one of the top 100 high schools) Several of her teachers attend our Church but still she gets the "secular view of life" lectures even in her Physics class how great the President is.
I majored in Physics and he has no idea what its study entails.

She is a photagrapher who has been asked to take photos for various events- she is good- she gets 78 dollars a game for photos of her high school football team.

She is obese and is depressed about "boyfriends"- never get married and never have kids. She has lots of male friends that she does stuff with- she is very sociable and can make friends with almost anyone.She is brilliant- Duke TIPS program last 4 yrs- went to SCAD- Savannah C of Art and Design- for a week this summer to hone her photog skills.

She came home from the Fball game last week and had a meltdown about her life and how no one except her Mom and Dad loves her.She has a younger brother age 13-
who doesn't miss a chance to rag on her as she does the same to him. They both are adopted and know that fact. I am trying to find Fr Justin Ferguson- Obi Wan _ as my son would say- he is young but when he was here he always had the BEST reply to both daughter and son.

a


#2

[quote="rdscheirer, post:1, topic:212943"]
16 yr old who doesn't want to go to Mass because of the way the Church "treats" homosexuals.

[/quote]

Not all homosexuals are child molesters, of course, but ... I thought the Church protected them. And I thought being gay was a virtual requirement to be a music minister. By the way, how many AIDS hospices are Catholic?

But what do I know?


#3

Hi, do I remember it correctly from your previous posts (threads) that your daughter is quite gifted intellectually? And that's what your current post tells me, too.

Your daughter probably has the ability to pursue the truth on her own, just direct her here to the Apologetics section of Catholic Answers Forum. I would challenge her to educate herself on God's revelation to humanity, read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Book of Genesis, read what the New Testament says about sexual sins, and read what the Church says about the issue in the Cathechism of the Catholic Church. At least she should get well informed before siding with the secular world's opinion, and against the Church.

You should point out to your daughter that the teachings of the Catholic Church do make logical sense, and were accepted as such by some of the greatest minds of all times, including philosophers, theologians, and natural scientists.


#4

Overeaters Anonymous (OA) meetings using the 12 Steps would be very helpful for her.

Being obese can be very self defeating when a female compares herself to the majority of females in colleges.

Do you think your daughter understands or respects chastity?

Why doesn't she understood that her chastity is no different than what is being asked of same sex attracted persons?


#5

Sounds like your daughter is trying to figure out who she is and how she fits into this world. If she is overweight, perhaps a program like Weight Watchers would be helpful combined with a gym membership. Teach her how to eat healthy and workout. Of course, this will only work if your whole family is on board with being healthy (not saying you're currently not, but it's hard to tell a teenager to be healthy as you reach for the Ding Dongs).

Maybe see if there are any books about why the Catholic church believes what it does with homosexuals. Sometimes hearing information from parent's doesn't sink in so much as information one reads or gets from an outside source.


#6

Edit: nevermind


#7

Maybe if there is a responsible adult homosexual who is living chastely as a witness to God's love in your parish (don't know where you are from) then that person talking to your daughter about why they choose that path may be helpful. Your pastor may know better and may be able to ask that person if that is OK. I am not advocating throwing your daughter at a molester - not all homosexuals are child molesters and not all heterosexuals aren't. I used the terms responsible and chastely.


#8

Thanks for your insight


#9

Thanks, we have tried all that you have suggested, we are currently seeking a counselor that will respect our Catholic views. She has recently done some things the kids call "cutting" She is brilliant intelectually but I am unable to get her to see how she should be thankful to God for giving her these gifts. I'm a General Surgeon whose Dad didn't graduate High School. (I'm a little smarter than she is). She is 16 and I am 54 years old- we tried and tried (what fun- see LIving in Love- but we never concieved)- she and my 13 yr old son are adopted.She did meet her birth mother when she was about 2 yrs old but both she and her brother occaisionally bring up that they would like to see their birthmother- my son has never met her. We send photos and an update every year to the adoption agency so that the birthmother can access it if she wants- we do not know if she does access the update.
I believe she is searching for her "roots".

Comments?


#10

[quote="rdscheirer, post:9, topic:212943"]
Thanks, we have tried all that you have suggested, we are currently seeking a counselor that will respect our Catholic views. She has recently done some things the kids call "cutting" She is brilliant intelectually but I am unable to get her to see how she should be thankful to God for giving her these gifts. I'm a General Surgeon whose Dad didn't graduate High School. (I'm a little smarter than she is). She is 16 and I am 54 years old- we tried and tried (what fun- see LIving in Love- but we never concieved)- she and my 13 yr old son are adopted.She did meet her birth mother when she was about 2 yrs old but both she and her brother occaisionally bring up that they would like to see their birthmother- my son has never met her. We send photos and an update every year to the adoption agency so that the birthmother can access it if she wants- we do not know if she does access the update.
I believe she is searching for her "roots".

Comments?

[/quote]

You are doing the right things - I will say a rosary for her and your family. May the Virgin Mary watch over her.


#11

Ok, the fact that you save the cutting for a follow up post is kind of like the elephant in the living room. Your DD is SCREAMING for help and you are wasting time trying to find a counselor that believes like you??? SHE NEEDS TO BE SEEN NOW! Do not wait.

She is going through a lot right now. She needs professional help. She may also need medication.


#12

I know my daughter- the "cutting" was just a scrape. We did see the counselor today and he is very acceptable to her. We have begun the prosess of finding out what is really bugging her- please keep Mary in your prayers.

Thank you for your prayers,
Bob


#13

Took the time to find a someone who could help our daughter and respect our and her faith. It has been a wonderful experience. The counselor basically said that if she didn't get the approval to do the cutting- (really just a scrape) by her peer group she would have never done it. Going from Catholic school K-8 to now 11th grade has been tough on her- seen kids get arrested at school- its one of the best public high schools in the country- in the top 100- but there are still the riff-raff that pull everybody down.


#14

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