Daughter YELLING all the time


#1

Does anyone have any ideas about how to handle a 4 and a half year old that is yelling constantly?

It does not seem to matter what she is talking about or doing, but she is constantly at the top of her little lungs.

She yells when she doesn’t get her way, when she has a question, when she want’s something…etc.

She also has an issue with growling at her mother and I when she is angry.

Any ideas on how to stop this behavior?

Thanks.


#2

Remain calm.

Speak to her in a low soft voice.

Let her know that when she speaks, she will not be listened to unless she also speaks softly and politely. Stick to it!

Have a naughty spot. If she continues to yell, after having been given a warning, put her on the naughty spot for 5 minutes. If she has stopped yelling she must then apologise before coming off.


#3

[quote=catholicdad01]Does anyone have any ideas about how to handle a 4 and a half year old that is yelling constantly?

It does not seem to matter what she is talking about or doing, but she is constantly at the top of her little lungs.

She yells when she doesn’t get her way, when she has a question, when she want’s something…etc.

She also has an issue with growling at her mother and I when she is angry.

Any ideas on how to stop this behavior?

Thanks.
[/quote]

Get down at the child’s eye level, command complete attention, speak in a calm voice, and tell the child that if she wants “X” then she must ask for it in the proper way.

If she acts inappropriately, put her in time out. She must apologize and ask appropriately to come out of time out.

Also, maybe have her hearing checked-- she may have some sort of damage if she always talks loudly and doesn’t seem to notice (does she also sit close to the TV, or make any indication that she can’t hear you or other people?). Just a thought.


#4

Why don’t these guys come with volume control?


#5

Well, I am a growler as well. My sister growls, her daughter’s growl. My son, never growls - our other sister and brother do not…

It is just interesting to hear of another growling girl.

The above posters have it down, do not respond to the yelling, insist she speak in a proper tone or be ignored. When yelling does not work, she will stop it.


#6

:rotfl:Kage the Growler…too funny


#7

Also, if my children used a whiney voice I would look them in the eye but not respond. Sometimes they needed a reminder, sometimes they got the message without words from me. The trick is to be consistent.

Talking about being consistent, make sure that all other authority figures (the father, grandparents etc) know what is going on and don’t undermine efforts to effect a change of behaviour.

I agree with 1ke that hearing should be checked out if it hasn’t already. I learned most of my really good parenting skills from Dr James Dobson’s book Dare to Discipline.


#8

No one has said this yet, so I will. Have you had her hearing checked?

DaveBj


#9

Spend 48 hours just observing the home environment…

this is really, really difficult, but trust me - it’ll help…

You’ve got to detach yourself from the situation and just observe without participating…

who else yells in the family?
how often?
under what circumstances?

At 4, I would suspect she is picking up on what is happening around her, like everything else. Perhaps your household volume is higher more often than not (I know that was the case in the home I grew up in).

Maybe no one else is really yelling, but from her hearing perspective it may appear to be yelling and so she yells at a volume which she perceives is equivalent to everyone else.

She also may be hard of hearing and doesn’t realize she’s yelling at all.


#10

[quote=Princess_Abby]:rotfl:Kage the Growler…too funny
[/quote]

GRRRRRR (I’ve been know to growl in meetings at work :smiley: )


#11

The message you need to send your daughter via actions and word is that yelling gets her nothing but trouble unless it a true emergency. Reward her when she speaks politely and discipline her when she yells. Do not fall into the trap of letting her have her way by yelling just to shut her up. Be tough and love her.


#12

Good point - to remind the child that there is a time it is proper to yell/shout, and discuss those times: Fire, emergency, warnings - and the good times like when we cheer on our sports team or shout “happy birthday”.

The good old story about the little girl who cried “wolf” migth be a fitting bedtime story.


#13

When our children were little, we used to talk about appropriate times for different “kinds” of voices.

Whisper voice – in Church, if someone is napping on the couch
Inside voice – regular speaking voice
Outside voice – playing outside, at a ballgame
Emergency voice – when something is really wrong, you’re injured or afraid

Then we’d practice these voices. If one was used inappropriately we’d remind them they weren’t using their proper voice.

Our daughter when she was young (2-3) used to whine. When she’d use her whiny voice, my husband and I would say “I hear a whiny-bird, but I don’t understand whiny-bird language. If someone could use their inside voice, I might understand them.” It didn’t take long for her to get it.


#14

My younger granddaughter growled, but she was an infant, 1 and 2. We just guided her into a “time out” space when she did that, usually with a blanket for a nap. She would fall asleep shortly after for an hour or so, then be fine.


#15

As a parent I have caught myself growling in certain situations. Usually as an alternative to swearing in front of my child…which I rarely if ever do. I figured growling was the lesser of the two evils. However, now I do notice that my six year old resorts to growling when she gets very frustrated. No doubt due to my “fine” example :frowning: .

Don’t really know if I should try and break her of this habit…I mean, it’s better than swearing or saying something you will later regret. ??? :confused:


#16

[quote=Cupofkindness]Why don’t these guys come with volume control?
[/quote]

My son has a friend who, at 18, still talks really loud. When he’s on the phone, you can hear him across the room :slight_smile: —KCT


#17

My first thought was mentioned before.
“Does anyone else yell in the home?” My best friend is in a family of ‘yellers’. Its like the louder you are - the more chance you will get your way.
Don’t reinforce the behaviour with a positive response. And make sure polite voices are always demonstrated as the norm.


#18

Try moving the other direction…and only whisper to her. Out of necessity she will have to quiet down to even hear you. I had a friend whose mother did this whenever the kids were in trouble. They knew right away–but it was not a threatening or intimidating thing–but it did get their attention.

It will also underscore, without nagging, how extreme her volume is. Along with this I would agree with those who say to be consistent in shutting her down when she yells–do not give her what she is demanding + put her in time out **every time **she resorts to yelling.


#19

Ignore her.

Or do what my mom did…take her into her room close the door and start running the vacuum cleaner.

Recognize her when she speaks in a calm voice.


#20

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