[quote=Paceshock]My concern is that not knowing that lifestyle or who engage in it, I am concerned that others who are involved could possibly harm my daughter - as witnessed on the news each day. I’m not an alarmist, nor am I naive. However, I am ignorant of the people who live this life. Once someone, anyone, engages in sinful sexual behavior it can spill into other areas of their lives as well. Who knows to what lengths someone who is wanting sex - regardless of gender - will do to get it?
I am sure, as any loving father can be, that my daughter is not sleeping with this guy nor interested in doing so. But I do worry about things like rape, etc.
I hope this clarifies my concern.
Given this, you should be worried about anybody your daughter associates with. I don’t think there’s much basis for assuming that people who “engage in sinful sexual behavior” are more prone to violence than people who don’t.
I beg to differ with your comment above, “…as witnessed on the news each day. I’m not an alarmist…” It seems to me that if you are projecting what you see on the news as general behavior in the population, you are being alarmist. The fact is that the news programs deliberately seek out the most garish, salacious stuff they can find – and they make bad behaviors seem a lot more common than they really are. The incidence of most kinds of violent crime in America is in decline – but you’ll never learn this from the TV news.
What you have expressed seems to me an awful lot like just basic prejudice; e.g., “People who engage in sinful sexual behavior are bad; bad people do bad things.” Life’s not so simple. People who outwardly seem to be moral paragons are capable of horrible things (see sexual abuse by priests…); people who have specific obvious flaws (like sinful sexual behavior) can nonetheless be completely trustworthy and gentle souls.
The only way to put your mind at ease about your daughter’s association with this guy – or any guy! – is to get to know him, to find out what his values are, what makes him tick. You cannot do this if you assume, because of his stated “bisexuality,” that you already know about his values. You cannot do this if you refuse to associate with him.
On one level, I completely sympathize with you – no guy is ever good enough for your daughter, or ever to be trusted (my daughter is 21!). But realistically, you have to let your daughter make that judgment; you have to trust in her good judgment, which is animated by the values you have instilled in her. It may not be easy…but it’s her life, not yours. You have to let her live it.