Dds friend forced by her dad to have abortion

don’t know that there are any good answers here.

dd (just turned 15) is an avid figure skater and a (may I say it?) a devout Catholic.

dd’s friend from skating (just turned 17) has a very troubled past but I thought her adoptive father (very complicated situation) had turned his life around and they’d been attending a Catholic church, girl recently confirmed, father now receiving communion, etc.

dd recently confided in me that her friend (who’d pretty much dropped out of skating and who dd hadn’t seen in a while) dropped out because she’d turned up pregnant and that her “father” had forced her to have an abortion. “Father” kicked her out of house and girl is living w/ boyfriend’s family.

dd is horrified – she goes regularly to pray at the only abortion clinic in town, and by chance? design? the day her friend went there, we weren’t there – the usual Catholic crowd of us had parted to allow an Evangelical group to hold a rally at the center that day. . . . if we’d only been there, but “ifs” are like belly buttons – everyone’s got one.

Told dd:
#1 If she ever came home pregnant, her dad and I would be heartily disappointed in her, but that we would keep and love the baby as our own grandchild, and as a part of her, which s/he would be.
Response: MOOOOOM! I’d NEVER do that until I’m married!

#2 She should be supportive of her friend. Make sure she knows about Rachel’s Vineyard, & various other resources. Her friend can call her or me if she needs anything.

#3 Urge her to come back to the Church – not the one she’d been attending, but to ours or one of several solid orthodox parishes in the area. (IMHO: the one she’d been attending with her “father” is a bastion of liberal politics)

What else to do?

“What else to do?”


Get her some post abortion literature from and as you said make sure she knows about Project Rachel and Rachel’s Vineyard. Chastity info would be good too, coming from your daughter.

Love her unconditionally, pray for her, invite her to your house. Let her know that this is something she can recover from and can be forgiven for.

Pray and then pray some more. If your DD gets a chance she can refer her friend to Project Rachel or go with her to the local Crisis Pregnancy Center.

Help your daughter minister to her friend, with the above suggestions. Her friend is probably in a great deal of pain now. I can’t imagine someone forcing his daughter to have an abortion. It’s too bad he can’t be jailed for that.

Have your daughter give her friend lots of hugs. :slight_smile:

forcing your child to have an abortion is barbaric. No other word for it.

I had a friend that this happened to. Her father gave her a choice: get an abortion or get out. She chose to live on the street and ended up becoming a prostitute:( From their she got heavily into drugs-I guess to dull the pain- and ended up loosing her child.

She has turned her life around but so much pain could have been avoided.:frowning:

As DD is 17 is there no legal recourse to the actions of the father? E.g. kicking her out = neglect?

The O.P. could contact Child Protective Services and/or an attorney to get the answer to that question. Also, if she is missing school because she was kicked out, the school could be informed, and that would bring truant officers and the legal system into it as well. I don’t know what can be done though. Many kids get kicked out by their parents (for this reason as well as others). I’ve never heard of much being done about it, unfortunately.

In many states the legal age to quit school is 16. The truant officers will not get involved.
And at age 17, the girl may still be a minor but she is still considered the legal guardian of the unborn baby.

In most states a child can move out at 17. I know when I was a foster parent in Michigan the law was 17 if they had never run away…18 if they had. So if mom or dad kicks them out at 17 the courts usually do very little to the parents.

If the daughter felt like she could push the issue she would have found a way…after all she is 17. That is the age where girls think they know so much more than their parents.

It is sad that in this age this is still an issue. My dh’s parents forced his sister to have an abortion and very shortly after that they found that she had Hodgkins…she died without ever having the child she so desperately wanted. That is so sad to me.

Oh, dear Jesus, that is terrible. I don’t have any answers but will say a prayer for her and her father too.

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