Deacons and wives

I am the wife of a deacon candidate and would be interested in hearing from other wives of deacons or candidates in clarifying the roles of wives and how this is working for you.

How can we be partners with our spouse and at the same time allow him to live out his vocation?

Thanks for the help and support!

My husband was recently ordained a deacon after five years in formation. We used to be involved in many joint ministries and I’m sure that we will do some more in the future. However, his new role required a reevaluation of our commitments.

My husband has said throughout his formation that this is OUR ministry, not just his. What my husband meant by OUR ministry is that we, as a married couple, balance each other as married persons should, not necessarily that I would be working alongside him and accompanying him to his ministry assignments. However, as he was being formed so was our family. As he went through the formation, I realized that I also needed to understand my vocation as his wife and be formed into what I believe is a more humble role, something that was very difficult for me to accept at first, but felt called by my marital vocation. My husband has felt called to the diaconate for many years and when he began his application, we had three children who were in elementary and high school. Although we had two more during formation, even though we are well into our forties. We didn’t feel that meant for my husband to drop out of the program, instead it validated what he was doing as a married deacon candidate. Obviously, my role has shifted to being the more intensive caregiver.

Again, the humility will change both of you. Expect to be transformed by your husband’s formation.

God Bless!

The USCCB has some DVD’s on the permanent Deaconate and the wives of Deacons that may be worth checking out.

Peace of Christ,


+As a church secretary for many years . . . the Lord blessed my life with a prayer partner for a great many of those years who was a deacon’s wife . . . and over and over and over again . . . our hearts were often so . . . **wonderfully :slight_smile: surprised! **. . . by God’s loving goodness and grace as we prayerfully walked along God’s holy pathways there deep in the heart of the Church as His servants **** . . .

[LEFT]May God bless you and your husband and family in your journey as His servants . . .[/LEFT]

. . . :bible1: . . .
And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee …
- 2 Corinthians 12:9a

[RIGHT]. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Sweet Spirit of our Holy God+
. . . by God’s holy peace, joy and grace+
. . . may your hearts wholly embrace Him+
. . . Jesus I Trust In You!

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