Dead Parents.

I lost my parents in my early teens. I could feel a strong presence of them all through my twenties. I use to dream about them often. Going into my 30’s and now 40’s this has stopped. I never dream of them. My last dream of them they were nothing but shadows. I pray often for them and every night I ask to feel their presence or at least dream about them but I get nothing. Should I be concerned about this? Should I even be praying about this?

Hello, I believe that when loved ones die they stick around for awhile to comfort us. I think your parents have moved on and want you to not focus of them anymore. They would like for you to go on in your life on this planet and they will be waiting for you and come for you when it is you time to die.

Your parents are not dead… they are still living in spirit in your heart. You will feel their presense when you really need them.
It is time for you to let go because you are in your 40’s now.
You were very lucky that they stayed with you all these years with their spiritual presense.
Why don’t you focus on finding a guardian angel or a saint to be with you now that your parents have decided to let you be.

I personally have lost several loved ones and once in awhile they show up in my dreams or I just feel their presense and it makes me happy.
Don’t be sad… be happy that your prayers for your parents have helped them to move on to Heaven and not be earth-bound anymore.
Always remember that you will see them again. Time passes by really fast and before you know it you will be with them again.

I am not sure if this sentiment or belief is a Christian one. Perhaps I misunderstood your meaning.

Fr Paul O’Sullivan wrote a beautiful little book entitled “Read Me or Rue It” which is about how to assist the Poor Souls in Purgatory.He makes note of souls of the dearly departed who visit this earth in an effort to promote prayer(for the souls in purgatory)

One excerpt::“St.Vincent Ferrer,after the death of his sister,prayed with incredible fervor for her soul and offered many Masses for her release.She appeared to him at length and told him had it not been for his powerful intercession with God,she should have remained an interminable time in Purgatory.”

Now I understand this does not address your question directly but it does point out that souls beyond this planet can and do contact the living.

I think the worry is that it sounds a little too much like ghosts, and in that sense, the Church says the soul moves on when the body dies.

There is just way too many instances in which Saints have encountered souls of the deceased to say that the soul moves on and is never “heard from” again.On the flip side I don’t mean to suggest that all “ghostly encounters” are from Heaven or Purgatory.Some are demons,of course and some are of human manufacture( imagination,dreams,mental illness etc etc)

Certainly members of the Church Triumphant in Heaven can come down to help and guide us, as they have, in some unknown way, gained “powers” that allow for things like intercession and visitation. But I hesitate to think that people come from the Church Suffering in Purgatory, as they have not been granted such grace yet, having not entered into the Beatific Vision

“Bl.Henry Suso,a Dominican made a compact with a fellow religious to the effect that,when one of the two died ,the survivor would offer two Masses each week for his soul…It so fell out that his companion died first and Bl Henry commenced …to offer the promised Masses…At last quite sure that the soul of his saintly friend had reached Heaven,he ceased offering the Mass.Great was his sorrow and consternation when the soul of the dead brother appeared to him,suffering intensely and chiding him for not celebrating the promised Masses…” Fr Paul O’Sullivan

You have been given the grace of their parenting in a spiritual sense over the years, but you should not worry that the character of it has changed. You may not know it, but those of us who have not lost our parents sometimes have a gradual experience like this, too. When we are young, even when they are not physically near, we feel them near. Their voice of guidance is in our ears, and they are often in our thoughts and dreams. Then, as we get older, that sometimes lessens.

Those of us who have not lost our parents very often find that when we get in our 30s and 40s, it is more our job to call them, take care of them, and see to their needs. We gradually take over the work of the family gatherings. Sometimes, we also render care for their friends in similar circumstances, too, who need the help of children who cannot or will not be there for them.

Maybe God has just moved you into a role of grace that fits where you are in life. Pray for your parents often, and pray for those whom they have in their own prayers, especially those poor souls whom your parents know by now, from their vantage point, who do not have children to render this care for them.

Hi Catholic Train, I love trains too. They are so much fun especially in a train ride in Alaska.

Regarding the parents of 99 poster… I felt that they could have been in Purgatory and the prayers helped them to move on to Heaven finally. This is why I used the words, “They have moved on”.

Hi 99, I think you were lucky to have had contact with your parents spirits all these years. I think they still come and check up on you at times to comfort you.

My dad just died this past April and I had a dream that he said he loved me and sent me flowers and I could see the beautiful flowers in my dream. I can’t prove if it was my dad or not but it made me feel better. So… my dad lives spiritually in my heart.

Now I am taking care of my Mom’s needs and making sure she is okay in her house and also taking her to her doctor to keep her healthy. I told her when she dies, “Not to come and bother me with her spirit”.lol. She has a controling personally.
In my family… death is considered a normal thing that can happen to any of our family members at any time so we talk about it.

I think 90% of Catholics don’t like to talk about their experiences with spirits on the OTHER SIDE. They don’t like to make their experience public.
We do have the Holy Spirit of God. We have the spirits of Saints, Angels, and loved ones.
Catholic priests and people who became Saints have written books on their experiences with spirits good and evil ones.

I want to thank you all for helping me put this in perspective. They have moved on and will be there when I pass. I need to concentrate on being a good father and not worry about feeling them close to me. May God bless you all.:slight_smile:

Hang in there. I know what you’re going through. I never thought much about my poor mom, who died at 48 from cancer, until I became a teacher. For some inexplicable reason, I now think about her a lot, and ask Christ to give me strength to overcome the things that unfortunately defeated her.

I personally think about my departed parents numerous times per day. I KNOW they are “with me” spiritually and always will be.

I don’t believe there is anything wrong at all with spiritual communication with your departed loved ones. Our relationship with them continues beyond their deaths and can be a tremendous comfort to us.

Physical death of the body does not permanently separate us from those we loved.

**I lost my father fifteen years ago and still miss him. I still have strange re-occuring dreams about him that I interpret to be unresolved issues I had concerning our relationship. They don’t happen quite as often now, but they do occur.

Perhaps now you are married and you find yourself in the role of parent. Continue to pray for your parents; tell them that you love them and will never forget them. That you ask to feel their presence or at least dream about them and get nothing means, in my opinion, that you are finally “letting go.” It’s a healthy place to be in because one is gaining maturity and a deeper understanding of life.**

Much of my daily struggle to overcome the effects of my speech-block is dedicated to my deceased mother, whose life it ruined. She suffered from it too, but much moreso than I do mine. This dedication gives me strength. Her spirit is with me.:thumbsup:

We all die of different ailments. Some are caused by the environment and some are caused by our DNA GENES, some die of accidents, etc. We never know when we will die.
It isn’t any fun knowing that someday I will die of some uncurable illness at my older years.
My father was lucky that he just died of old age at 96yrs.old. His body parts just started to shut down and he had a peaceful death with the help of Hospice. I plan to choose Hospice care when my time comes.
I thought my father was just going to move on in spirit after he died. But guess what? He has chosen to stay in my life for awhile in spirit. I am really surprised because I was not really close to him. But he sends me his love. He sent me several dreams with the message to get rid of the clutter of the past and present in my mind… He wants me to forget my bad memories of my life with my parents and move on to a better place in my life.
I find it interesting that he shows up in my dreams. It feels good to know that my dad is with all of his loved ones on the other side.

My grandmother died many years ago but she still shows up in my dreams sometimes. She once showed up with a photo of Jesus to let me know that she was with him.

My brother is ill with cancer and most likely he doesn’t have long to live. I pray for him all the time. I know he will stay in touch with me when he goes to the other side in spirit.

That is what troubles me. I use to dream about them all the time and now nothing.

I lost my father 6 years ago and my mother 2. We were very close, in their 80s they lived with me and I took care of them. I dream of them occasionally too and still have periods where I miss them. I pray every day that their in heaven and each all souls days go about the task of hedging my bets they are now with God. I remember when my grandfather died my mother thought of him all the time. Then one day she told me of a dream she had where she saw my grandfather, which was her father, dressed in white and was clean and well groomed. She interpreted that as my grandfather telling her he was out of purgatory. After that she never dreamed of him again. May be thats whats happening with your parents. They are telling you don’t worry, they are safe with God and you should let go.

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