Easter is coming, and my parents want me to invite my brother and his wife over to our house. My parents and I are close. My brother and I are not.
My brother (32) is married but meets strangers for sex. He has had many affairs and does really vile things. His wife forgives everything. I am shocked by his behavior and told him so. He has stopped talking to me except for when my mom pressures him to talk to me or give me a "hello" courtesy call. He has a histrionic/narcissist personality disorder and is just crazy behind the scenes. He has emailed me some seriously insane stuff that makes no sense. He acts calm in front of my parents but is horrible behind the scenes and is just a very bad person.
My parents (in their sixties) do not believe me. Or they think I am too judgmental because I'd rather not spend time socializing with him.
I've four little kids. And he creeps me out. My husband says only to treat him politely when we meet at my parents' house but the heck my brother should come over. My parents think I am unreasonable and are blaming me for ruining the family peace and being cruel to my brother. I have been honest with them. My brother lies, cheats and steals, and it just about broke my heart when I found out all the darkness about him. It kills me to have to keep him at arm's length. He'd always been my baby brother until the mask was ripped off. I don't want to be estranged, but how can I be friends with a sibling who lies, cheats serially, makes fun of one's Catholic life, and essentially hates you? Geesh.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this. And I feel like the only sane person in our family. (My husband reminds me that he and the kids are my family, really. "You are 37, too old, honey, to worry about what your parents think!")
Does anyone know how to deal with crazy-makers in a family? Does anyone else have a mentally ill (and spiritually sick) person in their family? And no one faces it?