Dealing with a Protestant Housemate


#1

hi all

i have a Protestant housemate. he is the boyfriend of my female housemate. he just came to our place like 2 months ago… we were going along together until he knew I was Catholic. Suddenly he’s been calling me as an idol worshipper, saying bad things or accusations of the Catholic Church, and watching anti Catholic DVDs.

He’s been stirring and pushing my buttons lately but I just ignore him to avoid any conflicts… How do I deal with this? Do i fight back or do it in a tactful way? I don’t want to create any friction between us. I just dont know what to say properly to him to top luring me away from my faith and join his stupid church…

thanks in anticipation…

regards.


#2

As a Christian (i.e. Catholic) you must allways respond with love.

How about some additional information? Do they sleep together in your home? What is her religion/opinion? Is he a Christian or just trying to force you out of the house so they can have it to themselves? Etc…


#3

yeah they sleep together. she was Catholic but had weak foundation so she was easily converted . Yes he’s a Christian from the Hillsong church. I think he’s on a mission to convert me to become a fundamentalist like him…


#4

Well, I can understand that you wish to avoid conflict but the fact is you are not the one causing the conflict. Whose place is it? If it’s yours, you should tell him he needs to find a new place to fornicate (perhaps you can choose better words than I can). If it’s your female roommate’s place, then perhaps it’s time you found another place/roommate. Either way you shouldn’t have to be subjected to that in your home. Especially, by a supposedly good and upstanding protestant (who happens to be living in a way other than he should be). God bless and good luck.


#5

Tell him to read Romans chapter 14 and stop judging you on your faith, because you answer only to God.

You can also say that he has given you enough testimony through his behavior to put you off for ever from joining his church… But maybe I am wrong, persecutions are sometimes a gift from God.


#6

Are you the primary on the lease? If so, quietly offer that if he cannot compose himself in a Christian manner and show respect for your beliefs that she can choose to not have him over, or she can choose to move out and you can have a new roomate.


#7

Wow what a wonderful opportunity to learn about and defend your faith.

By calmly,and with love, explaining your faith you make a good witness.

It helps to think of people who treat me badly as God’s children who don’t know any better. Then with my mind in that set I can speak to them as a teacher or parent to a child.

1.

We have pictures of our family both living and dead to remind us that we all are part of God’s family both in heaven and on earth. We do not worship those pictures or statues worship is for God alone.

2.

Ask him which came first.

The Church or the Bible?

And how many Churches did Jesus leave us?

Looks like you are on a journey. God bless.


#8

Brother, what a jerk! (him, not you)

Just ask him to keep a civil tongue in his obnoxious head (OK, you can leave out the obnoxious part). You might also tell him what the bible says about the fate of fornicators. And tell him to remove the log from his own eye. And keep repeating as often as necessary.

You could also have a meeting with both roomates and explain that you didn’t sign up to have your faith mocked and criticized day and night, and you want it to stop right now. Maybe she can control the boob. And if he continues, have another meeting the next night, and another one and another one until he finds some other source of entertainment.

That’s all assuming you can’t kick him out and don’t choose to leave yourself.


#9

You can fight back in a tactful way.

First, you have to decide whether or not you can handle continuing to live under the circumstances. If not, what you say or do is sort of a moot point, as you then need to see about other living arrangements i.e. getting him out of there or finding a different place to live.

Assuming you want to stay, speak with the girlfriend first. ***Ask ***her to tell him to knock it off, that it really bothers you, that you’re considering moving out because of it, etc.

The next step is to tell him that if he wants to have a respectful dialogue/discussion about your different faiths, you would be willing to do so, but the groundrules are you both must be willing i.e. be willing to discuss it at the time and it must be respectful. Tell him you’re otherwise not interested in discussing the subject, then ask him if he’s capable of such a civil discussion “Do you really think we can have a civil discussion on our faiths?”.

If he’s game, turn the tables by asking lots of questions. Not “agenda” questions, but like you’re wanting to see his point of view. Invite him to do the same. Again, if he can’t play by the rules, the game is over.

Sounds like you’re dealing with a child here, and children need to be dealt with is certain ways. That’s not to say that you may have a role in helping him to grow up, though. :thumbsup:


#10

It sounds to me like a very un-Christian way to carry on, the way this chap is treating you. It never ceases to amaze me just how vicious some of these people can be in their attempts to proselytise Catholics! I think you can take great strength from what is going on-- it really sounds like you’re under a nasty attack! Some good advice here, I hope & pray that this leads you to find out more about the faith in order to defend & discuss every point, remember, do not be afraid- He is with us always!
:thumbsup:


#11

thanks for the responses so far guys…i enjoy reading them…keep 'em coming! like to hear more opinions.

it’s only your third post but that’s very informative! that chapter will leave him speechless.

yes i’m the primary of the lease…thing is, it aint easy to kick him out because his girlfriend will go with him, and i’ll end up starting all over again. Sydney is one of the most expensive places to live so I prefer to have housemates to share expenses… i’ve been with my female housemate for 3 years with no problems and she owns most of our appliances! lol

thanks for that advise! that’s a humble and subtle technique in defending my faith.

VociMike, spot on i never realised until i read your reply that i didnt sign him up in our house to have my faith mocked and criticized! thanks for the advise on having meetings - very organized approach


#12

You fight back by constant prayer for him, as he is living in darkness. He has been lead astray by the spirit of antichrist, and seeks to divide Jesus’ precious body further. This pleases only the evil one. Love him and pray for him. Reveal your joy in Christ while he revels in anger and hate. The source of each will become apparent.

Christ’s peace.


#13

yeah i am under nasty attack…it hurts my feelings… maybe i’m just overreacting but whenever i hear accusations coming from his mouth i feel i get stabbed on my heart…i just feel it’s not right… others might not feel the same but that’s just who I am if you know what i mean…

just a few moments ago he was watching this dvd where this old bastard who thinks he knows everything preaching heresy and slander against the Dominicans, Franciscans, Jesuits, Catholic Church and Rome.

come to think of it why would i believe someone (that old man on the dvd - i’ll see if i could get his name by looking at the cover) who’s proud, arrogant and don’t have any basis to prove his biased claims.


#14

ooohhhhh i like that! civil way of discussion aye! :thumbsup:


#15

Well the fact that they are sleeping together means that both are living outside of what they profess to believe. You might want to point that out to them.


#16

Depending on where the television is (if it is in a common area like the living room), I think you are perfectly within your rights to ask that certain things that are offensive to your faith not be viewed in your place of residence, especially considering you are the primary on the lease. (The argument would be that much stronger if it is your TV and/or DVD player :)).

Of course, you could always start watching your own Catholic apologetics videos, too! Do you get any Catholic TV channles in Sydney? That might be a bit passive agrressive, though, so I don’t know whether or not it would really help!


#17

Hold on a second, here. Before you go off half-cocked, let’s try and figure out what it is that you really want and what your options are.

First: What is your legal status in this household? What is his legal status? Is he just some guy who is splitting the rent or are you both on the lease or what? That may come in handy to know.

Second: what do you really want to achieve, here? Do you want to get this guy to stop harrassing you? Do you want to convince him that you’re right and he’s wrong?

If I were you (and I’m not you), I would aim for an end to the harrasment. This is your HOME - you shouldn’t have to argue with people in YOUR HOME. You have a right to a happy, stress-free home. That’s a fact. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that what he is doing could be illegal, under certain circumstances.

You cannot change every person’s mind. Sometimes, it’s worth the bother to argue. But, I wouldn’t do that in my own home. There will be countless other mislead souls to argue with in life.

So, if I were in your position, I would decide, first, not to argue any longer. Then, I would tell him, “I do not want to argue about religion with you any more. Please stop bringing up the subject of my religion.” If he does it, tell him, “I have a right to my beliefs and to be treated fairly in my own home. What you are doing disturbs my peace. Please stop.”

I am not sure what you should do if he will not, but I think you may have a legal right to kick him out of your apartment, even if he is on the lease.


#18

If I were you, I’d look upon this as an opportunity to defend your faith.

I highly recommend listening to the talks at this website:

biblechristiansociety.com/download

The one entitled Apologetics for the Scripturally Challenged is about basic strategies and techniques of dealing with someone like this guy.


#19

Outa,

It would be helpful to you before you do or say anytihng to understand from a Catholic point of view the state of the souls of the two people with whom you share an apartment.

The first thing to understand is that whatever any person thinks about some moral truth or another type of truth does not effect what is. For example if it is true that Jesus is the Son of God, it does not matter what I believe about this. If it is true that Catholicism is false it does not matter what Catholics believe. Or if it is true that Protestantism is false it does not matter what Protestants believe. What is, is.

Your Church teaches that sex outside marriage is a grevous sin, a mortal sin. Professed Christians can disagree about this, but what is, is. If your Catholic faith is correct your house mates are in great danger. They may believe they are saved, because they have accepted Jesus as their personal savior or some other Protestant rubbish, but their souls are in danger of hell. They may insult you, but so what. Only your own sins can cause you spiritual harm. Surely their own Protestant church teaches that what they are doing is offensive to God and they should not be living together. So what is your responsibilty for these souls.

Your faith says you sin by failing to warn another person who is in spiritual danger. You have to tell them are living in sin and their own Biblical faith says you are right and they must repent. After you do this, if they do not agree with you, you should take the matter to the church, according to the Bible. In this case you might bring the matter to the attention of their minister who should help you call them to repentance. This is out of concern for their spiritual well being. They are hypocrits. They profess Christianity and do not live it. Jesus condemns all hypocrits. Of course you can not reprove them if you are not morally straight yourself.


#20

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.