So, I have a sister who has estranged herself (and her kids) from our family based on the theories of Alice Miller and the conviction that our mother is abusive and mentally ill, and so are the rest of us until we recognize that. Alice Miller, it turns out, is a therapist whose latest book insists on the enormous evil of the 4th commandment (and religion in general) and insists that unhappy adults must learn that their parents were mentally ill and abused them and that our future happiness and mental health depends on our realizing that we must NOT forgive our parents. Mentally ill parents are those who abuse their children, which seems to include all spanking, but from what I gather all you really need to know is: “I’m unhappy” - from this you can safely conclude your parents were mentally ill and abused you and should never be forgiven.
Discovering this information has been a lightbulb moment for me to understand what has seemed to me like inexplicably bizarre rhetoric coming from my sister: accusations that I’m mentally ill, that I’m doing irreparable damage to my children (whom she has refused to even meet to see how I interact with them), generally having a very repetitive, cult-member like rhetoric with me in my communications with her (using Alice Miller’s vocabulary, as I’ve now learned), as if she is enlightened and it will be impossible for me to have a real, healthy conversation with her or understand what she’s saying/who I am/what our family is like/etc., unless I become enlightened too (via Alice Miller’s theories).
Does anybody have experience with this kind of situation or resources on Alice Miller that might help me move forward with this situation? Thanks.