In our marriage lately, issues have arisen that have gotten bigger and bigger. It’s hard to explain briefly, but the upshot is that I have not always communicated well, and when I don’t tell my husband everything or ask permission, he speculates bad things that are way beyond anything I could imagine, let alone do. So, while I am not guilty of what he is accusing me of, I am guilty of the cause of the speculations. When our sons (now grown) were grade-school age, I would spoil them a bit too much, stopping occasionally on the way home from church to buy CDs or stuff they liked. Now they are spendy, and my husband is livid that I caused all of this by not listening to him years ago. There is truth in what he says, and I admit it, but then the guilt weighs on me so heavy that I fight back or leave or do something irrational. He says that everyone has a way of dealing with guilt. I personally have never seen anyone up close that had a good way of dealing with it. When someone blames you for something that has some part of truth but you weren’t doing exactly that or didn’t intend to hurt anyone or cause any problem, how do you deal with that? I need really practical suggestions here, like what do you tell yourself in your mind to be able to accept the blame? Also, when he blames me, he often lays it on for several hours in a row. While I can handle it for a while, it gets overpowering. The more I just try to make it stop so I can think it through, the more he thinks I’m denying or escaping. It’s a vicious circle. Please make suggestions if you can.