What are your thoughts on a couple where the woman has always been unsure about children. Generally imagining that the ‘clock’ will kick in at some point but not yearning for a baby.
Meets a wonderful man and gets married. He wants children but again no great yearning for the time being.
Cue getting married in Catholic Church.
5 years later, time is getting on (now in 30s) but the woman is still deeply unsure. Doesn’t want to give up lifestyle for child. Man loves woman very much. Tells her that if she does decide not to have children, he will be content with just loving her. However, woman knows man does want children.
Woman narrowed down pro/cons to:
Having a child
- not wanting to miss out and regret it later
- doesn’t want man to miss out on being a father (he would be great)
- family expectations (parents wanting to be grandparents)
- looking after woman in old age
- if anything happened to husband, woman would be all alone
- friends having babies
- religious reasons
- not using contraceptives for a while
- feel would end up resent child as so much hard work and would have to have lifestyle changes
- fear of regret of having child
- woman panicking when getting pregnant and having an abortion
- stopping lovely lifestyle of doing what woman wants when she want
- missing out of doing some more travelling ( travelling to adventurous countries totally unsuitable for children)
- totally 100% commitment to Man. Woman would never leave Man once children are in the picture (eg even if marriage was terrible etc) At the moment, woman could reverse any previous decision (divorce, selling house etc). Having a child is irreversible.
Yes, woman is myself. Easier to detach from whole situation.
I have given it to God many times to tell me what to do but He is not answering!
Also, out of curiosity, as I wasn’t totally sure about having children when I got married, is my marriage valid? Similarly, I got married before I came back to the Church so always had divorce at the back of my mind as an option? Are we still valid?