My husband and I live with his dad who has dementia… how much do we have to let go as far as manners? All of it? Do caveman like eating habits have to be permitted?- he IS physically capable of eating ‘right’. What about what he says? There’s times that (oh… wow… this is going to sound rotten of me) I think he’s faking it… He’ll say something that is mean and hurtfull and then when it’s obvious that he’s been insulting he’ll sit there and just giggle and giggle and point his finger at you and say it again. It also hurts me to see how much my husband is hurt when his dad is mean… say ‘get thick skin’ all you like, it still hurts when your dad tells you all the time that you’re stupid or lazy. What can be said to siblings to get them to help out more? I get the feeling of ‘whew! glad it’s not us’ They seem to think that popping in for a cup of coffee is enough. They all ‘have plans’ can’t cook him dinner or sit with him for a saturday afternoon so we can have a day off to ourselves…
Hope I didn’t sound mean and ungratefull… just needed to vent
I don’t regret that we are caring for him… a nursing home just wouldn’t be right… his place is in his home for as long as we can manage his care.