Depend how much on God and how much on self?


Jesus says repeatedly to have an absolute trust in God to provide for our needs.

I was thinking to myself that I would like to find a girlfriend and get married someday. I’m very socially awkward so I thought it would be a good idea to buy some dating books and study up on the matter, which would be depending on myself and my own knowledge.

On the other hand, I should trust in God completely and pray that He will introduce me to someone who is right for me, which would be depending on God.

My question being, is it even worth spending money and putting effort into study? Should I not even worry about it and let God take care of it? Or should I take the two-pronged approach and do both? Would God be offended if I were impatient and decided to take matters into my own hands?



I don’t think God wants us to just sit around and pray for an answer. If we did, we couldn’t earn a paycheck!

I would be careful about non-Catholic sources for dating books, though. Many of them are more about, um, “hooking up” than they are about developing a real relationship with somebody.

I believe there are Catholic books on finding a good mate; perhaps they can be of help with the social awkwardness issues. Check the CA bookstore!

Also, look at the link “Chastity” at the very top of the page. There’s lots of good stuff there. It’s about lots more than just “keeping it zipped.”

God bless you,



Just be patient, be yourself, and, if you don’t already have a job, get one; it builds character. :wink:

God doesn’t create girls out of thin air; you have to do your part as well. :slight_smile:

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood


Makes me think of that old saying that goes something like “Pray as if everything depends on God. Work as if everything depends on you.” That’s my answer.


Hey, I’m a young guy who knows what your going through. You should go to and read some Q & A because this exact question is addressed. Also, read/listen to anything by Christopher West, Jason Evert or anything by Catholic chastity speakers. Bring all of this good advice to Jesus and since you obviously want a great wife, ask him to make you a great husband.




I’m all for the two pronged approach. Or as Ridgerunner said “Pray as if everything depends on God. Work as if everything depends on you.”


Thanks for the responses.

I thought it was “pray as if everything depends on you, work as if everything depends on God”.


Scanlan, Michael. “Appointment with God”. Franciscan University Press, 1998. p12.

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