Depressed and discouraged

New catholic since 2008. I used to go saddleback . I had my tubes tied before RCIA I have seizures bipolar and Aspergers . I get disabilty money so I wouldn’t be able to care for child. Some catholics understand some don’t. I have fiancé we live together my therapist thinks because we disabled we live together first to learn skills problems solving so far it great . My Priest sAys as long we stay separate rooms Erick was Jewish we start going back to saddleback he got baptized we go to food pantries he lost job
We struggle . I know disabled people at saddleback and other churches who have tubes tied and commitment ceremony my parents aren’t religious . I’m on meds I love catholic but sometimes I feel I don’t belong. I’ve been back at saddleback not as strict. My ex bf brought me through RCIA I have new friends great priests but I love rick warren and purpose driven life too I’m not perfect I can’t live up to standard of catholic . I know people married 20 years no kids they happy I don’t know why all this validity of marriage where is that in bible . I know saddleback people married no kids tubes tied vasectomy and no problems . I prayed before I did I took care of health. I go back to saddleback
I love both churches all I can do is be me

Me and my fiancé together three years live together two years .
Disabiliy money our parents give us allowance. I go confession . We struggle bipolar I have high sex drive we both fall in that area I’ve been to confession priest has been understanding my fiancé Jewish now baptized at saddleback he disabled too and understands
He drives I don’t his dad helps so do my parents the food pantry.at church
We take turns cooking he does laundry we both clean house it been great yes cohibot is frowned on but we are doing well we get married in the next year he looking for job.
He helps me when I have seizure I help him with his disabilities

Praying for your intentions.

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance & direction back to the Church.

My dad is Jewish my but not religious my mom
Is not religious my fiances family is Jewish
I love Jewish and Christian holidays.
I feel both Protestant Jewish and catholic or no labels at times just relationship with Christ
I wish Protestant believe Eucharist catholic has Eucharist Protestant
Has more bible studies and great groups. Jewish has Old Testament
Jesus was Jewish so I learn his background wen I’ve gone to temple. My fiancé uncle is messianic rabbi . Sometimes Protestant churches they have topics and they read and explain more slowly at catholic we do mass the readings and then homily but then it fast. It’s niece the way at the Protestant churches I go to they read the readings and explain while reading toward the topic like saddleback does several weeks on beattitudes
Then learn more. The priests at my parish do great homilies my fiancé uncle whose a rabbi does great too.
I have faith I just follow the spirit maybe God hase different places at different times for different reasons . I just get discoursged people get judgemental about my choices but I’m trying . It hard having disabilities and being different some catholics as Protestants seem to have an easy perfect life they have it together.
I know everyone has problems. I just need prayer and direction I’ve talked to my priest he sees me trying and reminds me I am Gods child and he loves me

St. Jude, friend to those in need, I am weary from grief, without joy, without hope, struggling to find the light I know is in my soul. I turn to you, my most trusted intercessor. Take away this emptiness and the pain of my broken heart. In your compassion, help my tears to lead me to a place of peace in my heart. Too long have I forgotten the goodness of God’s world. Heal me. I yearn to feel light, to feel joy. Envelop me in brightness, and do not hold back. And I promise, if I receive these gifts, I will share them always in your name. Amen.

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