Whenever I sit down to contact places I get extremely depressed.
I have basically put off doing anything with my life now, because of depression and anxiety. I quit my job, and I’m leaving college… accept I have nowhere to go. I have no plan and no goal.
My counselor, who’s been counseling me for depression and anxiety for the past 6 weeks knows this. My family knows this. And several of my close friends know this.
My goal this week (before counseling next week) is to come up with a goal.
I’ve been wanting to go to a Catholic community somewhere. Or Catholic volunteering. But, every time I read about them, I get so discouraged. My mind tells me: “If I apply, they’ll reject me. There’s only X amount of spots left, I’ll never get one.”
And the one that I’m really thinking at the moment: “I’m not really in the right place to be serving others. I’m probably closer to the descriptions of the people that these Catholic organizatons serve, rather than those who serve.”
I’m stuck. I’m treading water. I’m in a pool just stuck here, not moving towards anything. And, I’m paralyzed by fear of moving anywhere, lest it be the wrong direction. These are all facts that I’ve established in counseling.
I’m scared that if I go volunteer somewhere, where I have neither my friends nor my family I would just get more depressed, and have to leave. [Even though, logically, I’m sure I’d make friends at a Catholic volunteering thing].
What do I do?
I don’t have unlimited time. My counselor wants me to make a decision this week. I’ve been saying I’ll research about where I should go for about a month now. And… NADA. I’ve emailed no one. What do I say?
I’m really depressed. And, I need the Church to help me.
Living in the secular world is something I won’t do. This depresses me. My counselor says that the next thing I do should be something I want to do.
I want to flee the secular world.
I want to flee to the Catholic world.
But, I don’t know where to go.
Where are places in the Catholic world that I can flee to?
Hopefully y’all can answer my questions.
If not, then hopefully I’ll have the strength to travel to go see priests that I can ask these same questions to.
That’s my only hope right now: Maybe a priest will have the answer. Maybe if I go to enough priests, one will have an answer of where I can go.
I’m going to post this same post identically in the Prayer Intentions.
My one goal this week is to find a Catholic community, apostolate, organization, etc. that I can go to. Please help.