Depression and Discernment


#1

Hi all,

So I recently posted in the prayer intentions about my Vocation and how I really feel strongly about the Salesians. Like every single day I miss them more and more and I just want to go back so much. I contacted the Vocation Director a week ago about coming back and she hasn’t gotten back to me. I feel like she’s ignoring me and that’s scary. It hurts me so much. I feel like I left a piece of myself there and now I feel so empty. I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?


#2

try an be as calm as possible, and keep your hope alive in prayer.

I have put in application for acceptance towards ( seminary formation ) { i dont think i can really say i applied to a seminary since one does not choose so i dunno what really to call it other than i put in my application } .

And the wait has been very long thus far for me.. I am staying in touch with my Vocations Director, and just doing the best I can with what I know ( which is not too much ). I suppose this our test of faith. I do struggle with depression, but i do not fall into a category of severe depression, i function but i struggle internally, an it is an ongoing mental battle. some days are easier than others. I am at least relieved that I have done everything I can to say yes at this point in time. I didn't hesitate to fill out the application and now all i can do is be prepared for hopefully a call before the summer.

The wait is the hardest part thus far. I doubt your V.D is ignoring you, chances are the person is just busy, I expected to be in constant contact with my V.D as well, an it has not been that , he has other duties not just working with potential canidates. If it has been over a week since your last contact, then give it another go, there is nothing wrong with giving a follow up showing that you are still interested in what ever the next step may be. Don't go OCD an fret an worry excessively, once a week follow ups are fine until you get a response with further information.

An everyone becomes depressed at some point in time or is to one degree or another, just don't let it consume you. Stay busy, volunteer, and try to relax.


#3

[quote="AllyC1991, post:1, topic:316358"]
Hi all,

So I recently posted in the prayer intentions about my Vocation and how I really feel strongly about the Salesians. Like every single day I miss them more and more and I just want to go back so much. I contacted the Vocation Director a week ago about coming back and she hasn't gotten back to me. I feel like she's ignoring me and that's scary. It hurts me so much. I feel like I left a piece of myself there and now I feel so empty. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

[/quote]

Pray. All vocations in the Church are about loving Christ and loving others. The same applies to this one. It sounds like you are so eager and yet nothing is moving as fast as you would like, well...look at Our Lord and tell him I love you. I want to accompany You in your suffering. May my hurting be a rose of love to You. I love You...I love You....I love You.
It's lent so may be He is asking you to suffer with Him in this way?


#4

[quote="Praying7, post:3, topic:316358"]
Pray. All vocations in the Church are about loving Christ and loving others. The same applies to this one. It sounds like you are so eager and yet nothing is moving as fast as you would like, well...look at Our Lord and tell him I love you. I want to accompany You in your suffering. May my hurting be a rose of love to You. I love You...I love You....I love You.
It's lent so may be He is asking you to suffer with Him in this way?

[/quote]

This is helpful. As was the comment above. The bad news is, she called me this morning, left me a voice mail and she had mentioned that she is not sure she feels the way I do about my desire to enter with the Salesians. That part is the most frustrating. I want to visit other communities but I just don't know if any of them would ever want me.


#5

well ally, bad news doesn't mean your journey is over, I recently was rejected for a volunteer opprotunity based on the lack of time i thought i had available, the org i wanted to volunteer for was looking for someone who could volunteer for around a year or more, an i really dont know if could they considered 3 - 4 months to be too short , an i was just merely guessing that was the amount of time i had to offer... and it was one of those odd rejections not flat out saying that i was not a fit for what they were looking for but just dancing around it an saying that they would get back to me via an application in the mail being sent to me, just a way to brush me off really. so i find that kind of rejection aggrivatinging, i would rather someone call a spade a spade than tip toe around, i would have been fine with thanks you for your interest but it isn't going to work out...

an you are right, you do not know if another community would accept you, none of us know. use this time to reflect, on what you felt and why, your V.D merely stated she does not feel the way you do about your desires... if you need more clarification there is nothing wrong with asking, as it would help you in your discernment; especially if you feel strongly about the Salesians. Rejection is hard to deal with sometimes, though rejection is not always a negative i guess it has to do in part with ones perspective on what ever the issue is.

Sorry to hear that this round did not work out for you i know rejection is tough to deal with, it is for me as well an takes me time to get over it also, don't be afraid to visit other communities , I would humbly suggest to line a few up to visit , almost like applying to a secular job, put your application in all over town .

as long as you can keep getting back up after being knocked down, an keep moving forward, i would like think that ones heart is on the right track in life.


#6

[quote="john78, post:5, topic:316358"]
well ally, bad news doesn't mean your journey is over, I recently was rejected for a volunteer opprotunity based on the lack of time i thought i had available, the org i wanted to volunteer for was looking for someone who could volunteer for around a year or more, an i really dont know if could they considered 3 - 4 months to be too short , an i was just merely guessing that was the amount of time i had to offer... and it was one of those odd rejections not flat out saying that i was not a fit for what they were looking for but just dancing around it an saying that they would get back to me via an application in the mail being sent to me, just a way to brush me off really. so i find that kind of rejection aggrivatinging, i would rather someone call a spade a spade than tip toe around, i would have been fine with thanks you for your interest but it isn't going to work out...

an you are right, you do not know if another community would accept you, none of us know. use this time to reflect, on what you felt and why, your V.D merely stated she does not feel the way you do about your desires... if you need more clarification there is nothing wrong with asking, as it would help you in your discernment; especially if you feel strongly about the Salesians. Rejection is hard to deal with sometimes, though rejection is not always a negative i guess it has to do in part with ones perspective on what ever the issue is.

Sorry to hear that this round did not work out for you i know rejection is tough to deal with, it is for me as well an takes me time to get over it also, don't be afraid to visit other communities , I would humbly suggest to line a few up to visit , almost like applying to a secular job, put your application in all over town .

as long as you can keep getting back up after being knocked down, an keep moving forward, i would like think that ones heart is on the right track in life.

[/quote]

Thank you so much. This really is helpful. I am already trying to get in to visit other communities. I really want to go to the DSMME May retreat. I felt strongly about them even before I considered the Salesians. I guess that has to mean something!


#7

I am sorry for your disappointment but glad you are considering other communities. You are in my prayers.


#8

I think my depression is getting worse every day. Sorry if this is any annoyance to anyone.

I've seen so many of my friends getting accepted and getting ready to go into Religious Life and I am very happy for them but I can't help but feel jealous. And I've gotten in touch with the Vocation Directors for the Daughters of St. Paul and the Sisters of Life and they haven't gotten back to me yet. I know they are probably very busy but it makes me worry. I know God is trying to teach me patience.


#9

[quote="AllyC1991, post:8, topic:316358"]
I think my depression is getting worse every day. Sorry if this is any annoyance to anyone.

I've seen so many of my friends getting accepted and getting ready to go into Religious Life and I am very happy for them but I can't help but feel jealous. And I've gotten in touch with the Vocation Directors for the Daughters of St. Paul and the Sisters of Life and they haven't gotten back to me yet. I know they are probably very busy but it makes me worry. I know God is trying to teach me patience.

[/quote]

I used to feel similar to what you describe. It bothered me the most when people younger than me realized God's will sooner than I did. I felt like I was ignored. I discerned religious life for 5 years and applied to 2 convents thinking that each was my home (3 years apart from each other). Neither one worked out. After some spiritual direction, I realized that religious life is most likely not my calling. I feel called to Consecrated Life but religious life would probably not work for me for many reasons. I'm now discerning Consecrated Virginity. I'm still keeping that door open, however, if anything should change.

The most important thing to remember is that everyone is different. Your friends found their home on God's time. For whatever reason, He wants you to wait -- either to teach you patience or another lesson you haven't discovered yet. It's difficult, but don't think He has abandoned you. Your time will come. For now, live in the present and pray that the VDs will get back to you when God wills. :)


#10

[quote="DaughterOfMary6, post:9, topic:316358"]
I used to feel similar to what you describe. It bothered me the most when people younger than me realized God's will sooner than I did. I felt like I was ignored. I discerned religious life for 5 years and applied to 2 convents thinking that each was my home (3 years apart from each other). Neither one worked out. After some spiritual direction, I realized that religious life is most likely not my calling. I feel called to Consecrated Life but religious life would probably not work for me for many reasons. I'm now discerning Consecrated Virginity. I'm still keeping that door open, however, if anything should change.

The most important thing to remember is that everyone is different. Your friends found their home on God's time. For whatever reason, He wants you to wait -- either to teach you patience or another lesson you haven't discovered yet. It's difficult, but don't think He has abandoned you. Your time will come. For now, live in the present and pray that the VDs will get back to you when God wills. :)

[/quote]

This really helps a lot. Thank you. I'm sure there is a lot I need to learn before I can enter, but I know patience is definitely one of them!


#11

[quote="AllyC1991, post:10, topic:316358"]
This really helps a lot. Thank you. I'm sure there is a lot I need to learn before I can enter, but I know patience is definitely one of them!

[/quote]

I'm glad it helped. Sometimes, it helps to hear others have gone through something similar to know you are not alone. God bless. :thumbsup:


#12

[quote="AllyC1991, post:10, topic:316358"]
This really helps a lot. Thank you. I'm sure there is a lot I need to learn before I can enter, but I know patience is definitely one of them!

[/quote]

Patience is a tough one to learn. God also has His own sense of time. About the best advice I have is to keep praying and keep close to the sacraments.


#13

I am praying for you. Would you also pray for me? I know God still has great work for me to do, but I’m having a hard time finding out, exactly, what that is. I’m looking into several options, but it doesn’t look promising. And I get so frustrated because of that. Even at my age (50), I feel like I still have alot to learn, and do. I’m trying to find a spiritual director who will help me with all this mess. I guess when you’re in the middle of something you don’t see what others see. :shrug:


#14

[quote="Christy_Beth, post:13, topic:316358"]
I am praying for you. Would you also pray for me? I know God still has great work for me to do, but I'm having a hard time finding out, exactly, what that is. I'm looking into several options, but it doesn't look promising. And I get so frustrated because of that. Even at my age (50), I feel like I still have alot to learn, and do. I'm trying to find a spiritual director who will help me with all this mess. I guess when you're in the middle of something you don't see what others see. :shrug:

[/quote]

I don't want to derail this thread but I decided to make a website for belated vocations that lists orders for older women and men. A Sister asked me if I could use my research skills and create one so she'd have a list for older women who ask where they can enter since her specific community didn't accept older vocations. I hope it can be of use to you:

belatedvocations.weebly.com/


#15

Thank you! With lots of love and hugs!


#16

[quote="Christy_Beth, post:15, topic:316358"]
Thank you! With lots of love and hugs!

[/quote]

You're welcome! :)


#17

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