I feel like the Israelites after they tested God in the desert. God wanted me to work on this picture of Mary and I kept resisting Him. When I worked on it for a few hours, I kept wondering when I could quit and work on my other stuff. Now I feel a sense of desolation and I feel like I have sinned. I wanted to ask for prayer because I have been messed with before by spirits and I really struggle with discernment because of scrupulosity.
The whole time I was working on this I was tempted with thoughts of anger and wrath, and while I did give into some of those thoughts, it isn’t until now that I have a sense of desolation, even though I can’t think of any mortal sin I committed. I wanted to ask for your prayer, that I won’t give up on what God wants me to do, and that I won’t sin by getting angry at Him and putting Him to the Test like the Israelites did. I really do sense that I’m supposed to work on this picture, and even though it can be very painful at times, I know it’s what He wants me to do. I also need to the grace to balance this with the other duties that I have.
Thank you all who have been praying for me, and I wish you the best.