Detail in Obeying Parents...?

To cut it short…
Freshman in college, legally an adult by age.
Financially still supported by family, and will live with family during the summers
Will join RCIA next year, so by belief I am Catholic although I am yet to be received into the church.

Now my question.
During the summer, my parents want me to go to a protestant church. Someone told me that once I am received into the church, I have a Sunday obligation.
However from the Catechism I’ve read, it says that

2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.
As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

However, I am wondering based on this whether I should go to Mass or obey my parents during the summer? I am legally an adult, but they support me financially so I am still obligated to obey them? I’ve heard several different answers in the forums.
It’s either:

a) God comes first, and since I am legally an adult, I should disagree and go to Mass
b) As I am financially supported I must still obey them, and just wait until I am not dependent on them.

So which should course should I choose?

I don’t think mass is optional.

If you are doing this to keep the peace, I guess you could go to Saturday evening mass, and then accompany them to service on Sunday. I guess that would be a compromise, but I don’t think that, once one has found the faith, that he should leave it, not even for one’s parents.

There is another line in scripture that says if one loves his father or mother more than God that he is not worthy to be Christ’s disciple.

good answer, just to add it a little though, they are also early sunday morning masses and sunday evening masses. so you can definitely do both if you had to.

do your parents oppose you going to mass completely? that would be a slightly different issue. if it’s just about you atending service with them, i’m sur eyou can manage.

You are not a child. You do not have an obligation to “obey” them. You have an obligation to respect them.

Your Mass obligation can be met on Saturday evening or Sunday evening. You can attend services with your family on Sunday morning if you feel comfortable doing so.

If you have the freedom to join the CHurch then you have the obligation to be a member of the Church. Once you commit to the faith, you must obey that faith. Over your parents. Even if you were a minor. Many saints were punished by their parents for their faith. Saint Francis was nearly killed by his father for it.

I guess the issue is that we have limited cars, and my parent (just mother) does not want to drive me to Mass. She just wants me to go to a Protestant service.
So either way by car, it’s only up to the decision of my mother.

However I can walk there. It’s just that my mother gets upset when I do these things that she considers ridiculous since she thinks it’s a far distance.

This is very helpful, and reminds me of what I learned about Saint Francis in class. Thank you for reminding me of Saint Francis, definitely helps me understand better on how I should go about this issue, and praise be to God for letting you write in this thread :slight_smile:

Walk, then or carpool with friends, get rides from those in your church, if possible. If she gets upset, she gets upset. You are no longer a child.

The distance is none of her concern, since you aren’t expecting her to take you. It’s just a pretext for you not to go. However, if the Protestant church were more distant, would she consider that an excuse not to go? Probably not.

It’s really a form of manipulation. Strive to be as independent in these matters as possible. Depend on them as little as possible, because it seems their help comes with some “strings” (conditions) attached.

She’s trying to control you, overstepping her bounds. When you are a minor, it’s appropriate for her to do this, but not any more.

The sooner you can get completely on your own, the better.

No problem. Perhaps St Francis is making a case to be your confirmation name…:wink:

Oh, insofar as distance, did you know St. Juan Diego walked 15 miles to go to daily mass?

Wow, really makes any effort of mine to be so insignificant :eek:
Really appreciate this, definitely puts into perspective how important God is in our lives.

Do what you can but if and when she creates situations so you cannot go, accept it without arguing. Go pray a rosary or watch Mass on television. Don’t add discord. Arrange to go with friends when you can. Be pleasant and escort her to her service. Offer it up. Like the other posters have said, it has happened before. One day at a time. :thumbsup:



St. Juan Diego was pretty amazing.

Yeah, he had “heroic virtue” insofar as even getting to mass. He was really something.

You’re in a tough spot, though. You’re dependent on your parents, and they are opposed to your faith. That’s not easy.

Good luck!

Who knows, maybe the act of walking to Mass on Sundays will say something to your mother that words can’t express? She’ll see that you’re dedicated to this decision and willing to do what needs to be done to fulfill your obligations. Sounds pretty grown up to me! :thumbsup: I’ll be thrilled if my own daughters turn out to have that level of conviction at your age.

One thing that will cancel out any progress with your mom is losing your temper or getting sucked into silly arguments about going to Mass. Just tell her it’s something you are going to do. If she’d be willing to drive you then you’d greatly appreciate it, but if not you’ll figure out another way to get there and you’ll have no hard feelings. Leave it at that.

And remember that faith is a theological virtue, meaning it can only come about as a result of God’s intervention by grace. IOW, your mom may not be ready to accept this gift yet, so don’t bash your head against a stone wall trying to convince her that what you’re doing is right. Let your actions speak for you.

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