DH & DD feud...

:bighanky:Please pray for my family. My DH and my 13 year old daughter seem to always have problems. My DH is not my daughter’s biological father but has been with us since she was 4. To tell you the truth I don’t even know who’s at fault anymore. I mean, my daughter is doing lots of things she shouldn’t. She lies and has bad attitude all the time. We’ve tried talking to her and nothing. My Dh is very hard and harsh on her. He expects so much of her. I’ve tried talking to him but nothing. We differ so much in our parenting that I don’t know what to do. It is tearing me up inside. I am so depressed. My daughter suffers from low self-esteem and my husband gets fired up so quickly with her. He has no patience. I am crying as I write this as my family is being destroyed. My husband says he’s fed up wtih her and I since we always blame him for the problems and my daughter says she no longer wants to be here and wants to go live with her grandmother. My Dh and I have tried parenting and counseling and has given up because he says it doesn’t work. My daughter will be starting counseling on Tuesday. Last night Dh husband blew up on her. And she was histerical and told me she doesn’t want to be here. He just deals and deals and deals with her bad behavior and bad attitude and then one day just blows because he gets tired of no positive changes. PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM! I am afraid this will tear my marriage apart also.

Thanks for your prayers.

Blessings to you

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.

Dear Lord, please help cagrl remain faithful to you in a life of deep prayer. May she and her family remain close to the sacraments to get the graces they need to cope with these difficulties. Talking with a holy priest should prove most beneficial for these relationships. Help cagrl meet with a good priest for spiritual direction. It would be great if her husband and daughter could get spiritual direction also. Maybe the family could make a pilgrimage to Lourdes for healing in their relationships. Lord, I hope this girl can still love her father. I hope her father still loves her. Mary, mother of us all, intercede for this suffering family and ask our Lord to heal them of past memories and wounds. Intercede that they find a good priest to give them counsel in spiritual direction. Cagrl’s daughter will have a good father figure in the priest to look up to; cagrl’s husband will have someone to share his grief with and to share his anger; and cagrl will find hope and have support from a holy priest to help her family become one and whole again. Lord, please keep this family together. Amen.

Praying hard for your family.

Praying for your family.

Give them a break from each other, and send her to Grandma at least for a few months. She will have a chance to mature, and he can calm down a bit. Everyone should continue the counseling of course. :hug3:

Thank you everyone for the beautiful advice and prayers! I tear up reading all the prayers and advice.

Ready, your prayer was beautiful…except, DH will not go to a priest. Dd will but Dh is mad that why does she go to a priest to talk and confess if she continues doing the same. I still continue to go to a priest for myself and dd even though dh feels that way. Very hard for me since dh is only a Sunday Catholic.

I’ve thought about sending her to her grama’s but feel things would only get worse as she would feel that she can trick grama in getting her way and deceiving her and then come home worse.

But thank you again for sheding light on my situation and praying for us!

Lord, if cagrl thinks it will be o.k. to send her daughter to be with her grandmother, then let her do so. Maybe she could have a good talk with her mother beforehand and make sure her daughter will be brought up without being allowed to be irresponsible or anything bad like that. Maybe cagrl can talk with her daughter beforehand and encourage her daughter to behave well and warn her that she must behave responsibly in order to be able to remain at her grandmother’s. Maybe sending her daughter to live with her grandmother will help the child grow and will help out the sitution a lot. Maybe her father will even miss her greatly and gain new insight into how much he loves his daughter. Lord, help things work out for the best. Amen.

Lord please bless cagrl with the patience and courage to deal with this situation. Please allow her husband to never forget the love he has for this girl, no matter how cruel she or he may act sometimes, and please allow the girl to never forget the great sacrifices this man has made out of love for her, and that this man is her father as much as Joseph was Jesus’s. We ask this in your name. Amen.

Best of luck!!
I’ll be praying for you!

Thank you so much that was beautiful prayer. May God repay you with many blessings.

Jesus could You please help the family go to the roots of the problems and sort out what works for everyone’s best.
A prayer I wrote when my boys were teens. Their father was very tough on them too. I tried to mitigates but all that can set up unhelpful dynamics. The thing that did and always has worked for us is genuine love of each other

Prayer for Youth

Jesus, they stand at the crossroads, our youth. Some no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors, unless it proves convenient or appears to have integrity enough to override convenienc eor unless it has integrity enough to override worldly values.

Grant us grace to live and love in cheerful and sincere witness of Your gospel, striving for goodness, justice, and unselfish caring in the way that we deal with them. Thus, they may perceive the value and validity of Christian (Catholic) commitment. Let them recognise, however, that they can no more expect us to be perfect and faultless than we should expect perfection of them.

By not demanding more than they can reasonably offer, let them see that while none of us is perfect, each ought to try for one’s best according to nature and ability. Grant us wisdom and love to permit them their freedom to follow their own directions, which are as valid to them as ours are to ourselves.

Give us grace to understand and to forgive their mistakes, knowing that we ourselves frequently err. Grant them to discover You through our understanding and forgiveness, and lead them to find healing and growth in Scripture and in Your Sacraments. Let us witness to them, without trying to break them to our mature wisdom, lest we, by our inflexibility or judgement, cause anyone to lose himself/herself and You for a time or forever.

The pain in our hearts they may not understand until in their own young they confront these moments of anxiety, conflict and uncertainty.

Heal our hearts and minds with hope. Give us trust in Your hidden leading and protection of them, so that we respond to them gently, steadily, wisely, and with peace. Help us to preserve their balance and identity, to foster their reverence for and nurture of Your unique image within themselves and in others for the way that we love and respect them.

Grant Your light to illuminate their paths, so that they may see to clear away errors and barriers that dim the wonderful unique celebration of Your living image within them.

Dear Jesus, we confess our frailty, our sinfulness, our meagre witness, and appeal humbly to You. We cannot contend alone with such sensitive and crucial responsibility regarding our young ones, and our anxieties may sometimes threaten to swamp our faith or judgement. Please help us to be wise, trusting and mature.

Our failures and mistakes regarding them appear to remain as crosses in their lives and in our hearts. Please do not allow our sadness to become self-recrimination, nor impatience towards them. Let it simply be confident prayer that You will take them to your heart, and fill them with Your Spirit to heal them and lead them patiently into the way of Your living gospel. If this path is long and arduous, please grant us the powerful faith of a Monica.

Whatever paths they wander by, our children — through us, their elders put Your hand gently on their shoulders, steady and warm. Look into their eyes with deep caring and friendship. Let them see their preciousness, their rich possibilities, and their kinship in You.

Let them know that they can share their laughter as well as their sorrows. Eat bread with them, listen and respond. Teach by example that is cheerful, faithful, gentle, and strong. Walk with us beside them supportively without intrusion—letting go, as their need requires but always prayerfully near in the quiet presence of Your Spirit.

Thank You, dear Jesus who loves our young ones more than we fathom. You are our hope for them.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to Your protection, implored Your help, or sought Your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, we fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, our Mother. To You we come; before You we stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in Your mercy, hear and answer us. Amen.

Mary, our most gentle and kind mother, bless this family and share with them your virtures. Help them make decisions that benefit each other and bring them closer to you and your Divine Son. Amen.

*I’m so sorry to hear about this. I will be praying for you, your daughter, and husband…that somehow, someway, God will bring them to common ground, that your husband will grow in patience with your daughter, and that your daughter will see that your husband means well, that his concern and even anger, is there because he loves her.

Praying hard for all involved here…for brighter tomorrows. *

Lord, please give this man and this girl the patience and guidance and love that they need. Help them to see their common denominator as someone they love that loves them both dearly, and help their household and marriage achieve peace. Amen.

Thank you again, everyone. Your prayers are precious to me. It is so hard raising a girl who is conflicted with bad habits of lies, bad attitudes, not caring about her grades/studies and just plain and simple doesn’t really seem to care who she manipulates in order to get her way. We have tried and tried to be patient but it’s so hard to continue it when it seems that your child continues to deceive you right in your face. I love her with all my heart and I hurt and worry for her also. Please pray that Dh and I will be patience with her and that we discipline with love. I worry about her future so much. Please pray we are good parents to her. And that St. Joseph and Mary will continue to intercede for us so that we may follow in their loving foot steps.


May God, who lights the way give guidance to your husband and daughter in this their hour of need.

Lord, cagrl’s daughter sounds like she could use a true encounter with Christ. Please help her parents to try and arrange for her to go on a special retreat for youth (Youth 2000 retreats are good). I pray that would help her. Amen.

Hi Ready, we actually have sent her on about 2 or 3 retreats through our church or surrounding churches. I don’t really see that they’ve helped. I am interested in and looking so I will continue. I will not give up. Did you say they are called “Youth 2000 retreats”? If so, I will look it up online. I COMPLETELY agree that she needs an encounter with Christ. I know that that is the answer. I speak from experience because when I had MY encounter with Christ it was the most AWESOME thing ever and that is what made me come home to the church again. I LOVE HIM SO! I have also taken her to healing masses with me but nothing really seems to come out of them. I talk to her about our Lord all the time and teach her about our faith…and nothing. We attend mass every Sunday and we go to confession about every 2 to 3 months. Please let me know if you have any more info on these retreats. I am VERY interested.


Dear Cagrl, there are also the Stuebenville retreats for youth (which I’ve heard are great!)…and pilgrimages. I’ve heard of wonderful conversions occuring with childern at Medjugoria. I know the Franciscans of Primitive Observance used to have Youth 2000 retreats. Ask the Franciscans of Primitive Observance in the the Boston diocese and see if they still do them. What makes me happy is that your daughter agrees to go to Mass, confession, and on these retreats with you. Think…she doesn’t refuse to go. She at least goes! That’s excellent! and already half the battle! I think praying for her conversion every day like St. Monica did for St. Augustine is the best thing we can do for your daughter. But still get her to go to places that could help her respond to God’s grace. If we pray for your daughter, God will one day move her heart. Watch religious films together as a family too, if you can. Maybe that will help. I’d e-mail different Carmelite convents, etc. and ask nuns and friars to pray for your daughter. Persistent prayer really is the most efficacious answer to everything, even though it may take years to see results. Your daughter and family are in my prayers. Let me know if I can help you further.

Praying for your family…13 years is a very hard time on kids, no doubt. Will keep your family in my prayers…

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