Diaconate and menopause


#1

When a married man decides to become a deacon, what changes may he need to impliment in his marriage? Specifically in his sex life with his wife?

Also, My fiancée is curious what the church’s teaching is on having sex when she is no longer able to have children.

Thanks in advance.


#2

I’m not an expert on the deaconate, but I’ll tackle your second question…

I’ll get to the point… *Fertility *has nothing to do with having “procreative sex”.

From the Catechism (link):

2363
The spouses’ union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings or values of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple’s spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.

The conjugal love of man and woman thus stands under the twofold obligation of fidelity and fecundity.

2369
"By safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its orientation toward man’s exalted vocation to parenthood."157

Sexual unity within marriage must be both unitive and procreative. Procreative means that it must be done in a way that could achieve life. Fertility (the ability to conceive) has no impediment on achieving that twofold end.

HTH :slight_smile:


#3

None.

The same as it is now.


#4

So, as long as we, when performing the marital act, are open to the possibility, however remote, of life, we can simply continue having normal relations in regard to the marital act?

Does the same apply if we were to find out (after marriage, of course) that she is biologically incapable of conception?


#5

Yes, and yes.
Again, from the Catechism…

2379
The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord’s Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.


#6

Tahnks, Em_in_FL


#7

God joined the unitive and procreative aspects of sexuality.

We are told “what God has joined, let no man divide.”

At a certain point in life, God unjoins the two. His decision, His plan.

We respect that too.

No changes necessary on our part. We’re still left with the unitive aspects of sexuality.


#8

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