Did god abandon me?


#1

Since like 7 or 8 years, my life is very hard to live. I don’t have any friends, and I feel really lonely. I am very shy and I always feel like people everywhere are hating me. My parents are divorced and I don’t think they love me very much. I’m a bit fat and got lots of pimples. Each evening i spend all my time in my room on my computer or playing video games. Usually, I ask God to help me getting my life better, but nothing seems to happen. Sometimes I really think about suicide but I know it’s bad. How can my life get better?

Thanks
May God bless you


#2

To answer your question, No, God as not abandoned you. He loves you more than you or I could ever imagine–even more than your parents possibly could.

It seems to me that you have some major self esteem issues. I would recommend seeing a counselor if you can afford it, or even a priest. Perhaps they can help you see your life from a different perspective, or to make choices that will encourage to change your life on your own. If that doesn’t help, I would recommend seeing your doctor, who can prescribe you some medication if necessary.

Another thing that might help to boost your self esteem could be to exercise. Go for a walk, a bike ride, or even join a gym. The endorphines will help you feel good, and when you see your body becoming more fit, you will feel better about yourself.

Are you in high school? If you are, your parish probably has a youth ministry group where you could meet other teens. If you are older than high school age, your parish may also have some other groups where you can meet people your age.

One thing I can guarantee, playing video games all the time will not help you to feel better about yourself. I do strongly recommend counseling though, because your life won’t change unless you have the tools to change it, which a good counselor will help you learn. Also, pray a lot. Pray the Rosary, and to St. Dymphna, the patron of depression, psychiatric, and neurological disorders.

NOVENA TO ST. DYMPHNA

(pray for 9 days or 9 hours straight)

St. Dymphna, a great wonder worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick.

You are filled with love and compassion for the thousands of patients brought to your shrine for centuries and for those who cannot come to your shrine but invoke you in their homes or in hospitals. Show the same love and compassion toward me, your faithful client. The many miracles you have wrought through your intercession give me great confidence that you will help me in my present need. (state your specific request or intention here!)

I am confident of obtaining my request, if it is for the greater glory of God and the good of my soul. For the sake of Jesus and Mary, whom you loved so earnestly, and for whom you offered your life in martyrdom, grant my prayer.

St. Dymphna, young and beautiful, innocent and pure, help me to imitate your love of purity. You chose to be martyred by your own fathers sword rather than consent to sin. Give me strength and courage in fighting off the temptations of the world and evil desires.

As you have given all the love of your heart to Jesus, help me to love God with my whole heart and serve Him faithfully. As you bore the persecution of your father and the sufferings of an exile so patiently, obtain for me the patience I need to accept the trials of my life with loving resignation to the will of God.

St. Dymphna, through your glorious martyrdom for the love of Christ, help me to be loyal to my faith and my God as long as I live. And when my hour of death comes, stand at my side and pray for me that I may at last merit the eternal crown of glory in God’s Kingdom.

Good St. Dymphna, I beg you to recommend my request to Mary, the Health of the Sick, and Comforter of the Afflicted, that both of you may present it to Jesus, the Divine Physician.

O God, You gave St. Dymphna to Your Church as a model of all virtues, especially holy purity, and willed that she should seal her faith with her innocent blood and perform numerous miracles. Grant that we who honor her as patroness of those afflicted with nervous and mental illness may continue to enjoy her powerful intercession and protection and attain eternal life. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

God bless you in this difficult time. I know what it’s like to feel ugly, unloved, and alone, but I’ve made it through that time, with the grace of God, and I’m so glad I did.


#3

First, I like the smiling_potato name. I would say that you should know that you are loved, and that God has a plan for your life. High school years were rough for me too. I had really bad acne that a dermatologist and prescriptions couldn’t control. But I would suggest you talk to someone about how you’re feeling. High school years can be rough, and adding your parents and etc., it’s probably making it rougher.

And focus on what’s positive about your uniqueness. Something I struggle with is keeping a friendly attitude as I’m quiet by nature. But I’ve found that I’m happier in the long run when I make an effort to talk to people. What I’m getting at is that if you go about your day with a smile and focus on the positive about the good things in your life, people are more inclined to you.

I think a lot of people in high school are looking for good friends. If you give this some time, consideration, and prayer, I’m sure you’ll see people that are looking for a good friend, and being a positive person, you can take your energy and personality and be a friend to them.


#4

God has most certainly not abandoned you.

I know how you feel and I sympathize. I don’t have any real friends either, except some people online I talk to sometimes. I’m shy too, and reserved on top of that, so I don’t always fit in or feel comfortable in social situations. I also don’t get out much and have no social life other than the several hours at college I do a week, some friends at my local church I can talk to after mass or at dinner after mass if we decide to go out, and, as I mentioned, the internet.

I’m also not in good shape either. Although, my problem is the opposite to yours. I’m quite thin, too thin. Underweight to be specific. For me, it’s hereditary and I have a fast metabolism. My weight is also due to bad sleeping and eating habits, so it is partially my fault, but I’m making efforts to correct it, and you should do.

I also used to and still do sometimes play video games. I usually serf the web or draw using my tablet.

God wants what’s best for you and for me, and we need to treat Him and Jesus like our best friend, and don’t forget your guardian angel. He’s your best friend too. The other posters gave good advice too. I know it gets hard to deal with it day after day after day, since it’s just more of the same, and it’s not very reassuring, but if you pray more and try to change some fundamental things in your life as others have suggested, you’ll get out of the patterns you’re in now, and into something more productive and happy.

God bless.


#5

God hasn’t abandoned you. Something I read that really touched me is “Even if you were the only one, He still would have died for you.” He made a world knowing you’d be in it, happy that you would one day walk in it. Before anything even existed, He knew you would one day, and He loved you. Since the moment of your birth, He has been calling to you.

Please remember when you struggle that your pain will end. Suicide may look tempting at times when you are truly low, but it is “a permanent solution to a temporary problem,” as I have seen elsewhere. (Actually saw it attributed to Phil Donahue. Who knew?) Anyway, however miserable you are, “this too shall pass,” but once your life is gone, it’s gone. As long as you breathe, you have another chance and a reason to hope with each passing moment. God WANTS you to be happy. He’s on your side. He may not always answer our prayers the way we like. Sometimes silence IS the answer. It doesn’t mean He’s not listening, or He doesn’t care, but He doesn’t think like we do and He knows everything, to be blunt. We don’t see the big picture, we can’t.

Suggestions to “make your life better.” First realize that you can change you, with the help of God’s grace, but you can’t always change your circumstances and you certainly can’t change other people. Focus on what you CAN do and leave the rest to God.

  1. Go to your priest. Preferably make an appointment, it sounds scary to do especially if you are very shy, but it is very important. Your priest is one of the ways God speaks to you, and he can answer your questions and specifically address your concerns in a personal way that we here cannot and with God-given authority as your spiritual father and confessor that none of us can claim. If you need further assistance, he should be able to help you find it.

Something that helps me make phone calls is to rehearse what I’m going to say, even to write it down to have a “cheat sheet.” Even with making appointments, this is helpful. I will even write down my own phone number to keep from forgetting out of nervousness. Something like, “Hi, I need to make an appointment to speak with Father (fill in the blank).” If you don’t know your priest’s name, just say “Father.” Who else are you going to mean? :wink: If the person on the phone is nosy and wants to know why, just say you need advice on a personal matter.

  1. Focus on other people. Helping others will distract you from your misery and will make you feel better. But, you say, I’m shy! I feel ugly! I can’t! Oh yes you can. You’re on the computer anyway. Find some websites about your favorite interests and get involved. Even giving your best game advice is better than nothing. The preferable thing is to get out of the house entirely, of course, but if it’s too daunting right now, until you can get some solid spiritual advice just stick to what you can do. Do what you can, now.

  2. Be a good kind of joiner. If you CAN nerve yourself up to go out, try volunteering somewhere. Volunteers are passionate about something, they want to help, and you already start out with something in common with them which gives you an advantage you may not have with other people you randomly meet or go to school with or whatever. It will be a little awkward for you at first as you get to know people and overcome your self-consciousness, but even if it just a couple hours a week, it will help you.

Also consider groups at your Church- prayer groups, pro-life groups, if there are youth related things (don’t know much about that, personally, to give more specific advice). More good things to get you out. And out is good.

  1. Reassess your time. Schedule your computer and internet time. Allow yourself so much and no more. Set an alarm or timer if you tend to lose track of time. Plan for a certain amount of time spent in prayer and spiritual reading. Don’t be too ambitious. Start small. Maybe an Our Father, a Hail Mary, the novena prayer to St. Dymphna GracedUpon posted for you and 10 minutes of reading something spiritual- the Bible (the Gospels are a good place to start), the life of a saint (Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux is a great one and pretty easy to read). Just ideas, think about what would work for you. Pick a time to do them, if you’re not good with “schedules” a time based on an event, like right after breakfast, or before brushing your teeth at night, may be most helpful.

And don’t forget to take a couple of minutes to just talk to God. Tell Him how you are. Ask Him for the help of His grace. Thank Him for what He has given you.

I’d also suggest finding some other things you enjoy doing and spending more time on them. It’s not good to get unbalanced anyway. I am bad about this so I don’t really have room to talk, mind you. I also like computer games. But, variety is good for you.

  1. Have you hugged your mom lately?

Well, I hope some of these might help you. I’m not a priest or a doctor. I urge you again to talk to your priest. We can’t really help you very well on here. Things can get better! I used to be really, really shy but I’ve improved (even the phone thing is better, heh heh). At one time I could not even order my own food at a restaurant because I was too shy to talk to the waitress! Don’t lose hope.


#6

Shalom! Here is a bible quote I wish I had read and maybe had tattooed on the inside of my eyelids when I was in high school:

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the LORD, and I will change your lot.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

You also might inspiration in this YouTube video, “Transformation”. It combines the “Prayer of Jabez” song by the group According to John, with the poem And God Said “No” by Claudia Weisz.

Note: after writing this post, I went back and found the original poem. The people making the video changed it a little to be more “thematically compatible” with the video. The original can be found at andgodsaidno.com/index.htm, and I urge people to read the author’s story.

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#7

My dear young friend,

The idea of taking a walk suggested earlier is a great idea. My choice of exercise is bicycling, which does wonders for me.:slight_smile:

Another person suggested doing something for other people. You could go visit people in a nursing home. This is something I did in high school and still do. It is a small kindness that is magnified because the people in these homes cannot go out on their own. In effect they are in a prison, but only because they are old or ill.

If you have a bible perhaps try reading one chapter each day.

Next time you are on your computer try looking up the “Footprints” poem. You might find it interesting.

Please let me know if any of these suggestions were helpful.

Mr. Todd


#8

no, God has not abandoned you, but it sounds like you have aboundoned yourself. remember that God works with us. He does not do everything for us to the point where He becomes what alcoholocs call an enabaler. we must get off of our own butts, put our pants on one leg at a time, and then go out into the world. i promise you that your life can and will get better if you pray often, serve others, and learn to give yourself to God and others in ways that benifit souls. this does not mean that life will be easy, it just means that it will be worth living.**


#9

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