To answer your question, No, God as not abandoned you. He loves you more than you or I could ever imagine–even more than your parents possibly could.
It seems to me that you have some major self esteem issues. I would recommend seeing a counselor if you can afford it, or even a priest. Perhaps they can help you see your life from a different perspective, or to make choices that will encourage to change your life on your own. If that doesn’t help, I would recommend seeing your doctor, who can prescribe you some medication if necessary.
Another thing that might help to boost your self esteem could be to exercise. Go for a walk, a bike ride, or even join a gym. The endorphines will help you feel good, and when you see your body becoming more fit, you will feel better about yourself.
Are you in high school? If you are, your parish probably has a youth ministry group where you could meet other teens. If you are older than high school age, your parish may also have some other groups where you can meet people your age.
One thing I can guarantee, playing video games all the time will not help you to feel better about yourself. I do strongly recommend counseling though, because your life won’t change unless you have the tools to change it, which a good counselor will help you learn. Also, pray a lot. Pray the Rosary, and to St. Dymphna, the patron of depression, psychiatric, and neurological disorders.
NOVENA TO ST. DYMPHNA
(pray for 9 days or 9 hours straight)
St. Dymphna, a great wonder worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick.
You are filled with love and compassion for the thousands of patients brought to your shrine for centuries and for those who cannot come to your shrine but invoke you in their homes or in hospitals. Show the same love and compassion toward me, your faithful client. The many miracles you have wrought through your intercession give me great confidence that you will help me in my present need. (state your specific request or intention here!)
I am confident of obtaining my request, if it is for the greater glory of God and the good of my soul. For the sake of Jesus and Mary, whom you loved so earnestly, and for whom you offered your life in martyrdom, grant my prayer.
St. Dymphna, young and beautiful, innocent and pure, help me to imitate your love of purity. You chose to be martyred by your own fathers sword rather than consent to sin. Give me strength and courage in fighting off the temptations of the world and evil desires.
As you have given all the love of your heart to Jesus, help me to love God with my whole heart and serve Him faithfully. As you bore the persecution of your father and the sufferings of an exile so patiently, obtain for me the patience I need to accept the trials of my life with loving resignation to the will of God.
St. Dymphna, through your glorious martyrdom for the love of Christ, help me to be loyal to my faith and my God as long as I live. And when my hour of death comes, stand at my side and pray for me that I may at last merit the eternal crown of glory in God’s Kingdom.
Good St. Dymphna, I beg you to recommend my request to Mary, the Health of the Sick, and Comforter of the Afflicted, that both of you may present it to Jesus, the Divine Physician.
O God, You gave St. Dymphna to Your Church as a model of all virtues, especially holy purity, and willed that she should seal her faith with her innocent blood and perform numerous miracles. Grant that we who honor her as patroness of those afflicted with nervous and mental illness may continue to enjoy her powerful intercession and protection and attain eternal life. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
God bless you in this difficult time. I know what it’s like to feel ugly, unloved, and alone, but I’ve made it through that time, with the grace of God, and I’m so glad I did.