I was having a discussion after class with my professor and I was telling him what a terrible week I’ve had family wise. I said that my brother was diagnosed with cancer a couple minutes before taking my exam. That part was true, but not fully. I said like 5 minutes before the exam, but he was going to the ER / hospital to get checked out for something serious asI was taking the exam. It turned out that he did in fact have cancer.
I feel terrible for trying to give myself some pity so maybe it would help my grade. But maybe I brought it up because I had no one to really talk my brothers condition with, but in a way I hoped that he would grade my assignments with more compassion, but at the same time I hoped it wouldn’t.
The part that scares me about my brother’s cancer the most is that I feel nothing, even after finding out about it. It’s an awful feeling. I just don’t want to offend God and I feel awful for doing it, but at the same time I hope he didn’t think that I was looking for a grade boost.
I am just an awful person.