I just found out that my oldest son (18) has been dating a 21 year old girl for the past 7 months and he admitted to me that they have had sex. This girl has an apartment and he has been dishonest for quite a while telling me he was out with his friends when he was at her apartment. I found out when I opened up his laptop to surf the net and found a paper he was writing regarding an incident that happened over the summer for school. He is in the local community college, living at home. I support him except for his car and insurance which he pays for himself.
I confronted him when he came home tonight. He admitted to everything. There was a suspicion some time ago that he had gone to her apartment for a party with his friends and alcohol was being served. Of course he denied it at the time. Tonight he admits that he does drink beer there but doesn’t drink and drive.
A summary of what decisions I told him he has to make quickly:
If he wants to be a man and make adult decisions then he needs to make his own way in life including living on his own. (He knows he can’t afford this as it is a struggle to make the car payment and go to school)
I told him I am pondering calling the police as it is illegal for her to serve a minor alcohol.
I asked him what happens if she comes up pregnant…she takes birth control :eek: I told him not only is it immoral to have sex before marriage but that birth control goes against our Catholic faith as well, that is why sex should only happen in a marital commitment. I also told him that just because he has crossed the line of having sex that there is no reason that he can’t go back.
I asked him to make a serious decision as to whether he considers himself Catholic.
He told me he isn’t going to stop seeing her and when I came back downstairs he was crying. I can’t just sit by and support a child who I know is out having sex with somebody while I’m paying his way thru life. There are many parents that can pull this off but I’m just not one of them. I also have a 17 year old and 10 year old in the house and I need to consider what kind of message I’m sending them if I just let this happen without consequences.
I’m beside myself and won’t be sleeping the rest of the night so I thought I would spill my guts and see if I can get any advice from those who have been thru a similar situation.