[quote="BrickRoux, post:10, topic:228821"]
I just want to give you my view on it from my identical situation. I'm not trying to make you feel as if you did the "wrong" thing - I'm not sure what's "wrong" and "right" from a moral standpoint when a Catholic marries a Protestant.
I thought a great deal about this, and I realized that while my fiance may or may not become Catholic, I can only be in a Catholic marriage, if that make any sense. That means that the rules need to be followed. I told my fiance as much before we were even engaged and were only talking about marriage.
I think my fiance is going to become Catholic, but I can't know for sure. Perhaps he'll got through RCIA and find some hitch in his faith that prevents him from becoming Catholic without more prayer - or perhaps ever. Luckily, he takes it very seriously, and so I know that he isn't going to just go with the flow to please me.
He and I had a long talk the other day about (to use a delicate phrase) onanism and the spilling of seed. I told him that looking at it one way, what he spills or doesn't spill when I'm not around is none of my business - and he's not Catholic, after all. In the end, though, I can't look at it that way. As a Catholic, when I marry him, for me, his reproductive matter is part of his whole human promise and for him to treat it in a non-Catholic way in our shared marriage is going to be a real problem. I'm exchanging my whole person, including my reproductive power, for him, but he's not sharing his whole person with me if he's engaging in onanism - or, to make it relevant to the OP, using a condom.
I said to him: basically, this isn't about "being allowed" and "not being allowed." It's about how you know and understand what the Catholic theology says and how much it means to me, and you know that you'll put a hole in my heart if you - in my eyes, according to my values - withhold your whole person from me though I am giving you mine. Think about it, and know what you're getting into.
I think you should keep talking before you walk down the aisle. I'm not saying that you should leave him! I think that more talking can only help, though. Best of luck.
Well, that's the teaching of the church, so far as I know, for a couple that may encounter that problem. and I just felt that I had a responsibility to tell him that straight forward.