Did I invalidate my confession? Intention Question


#1

Hello all! I’ve got a concern about a confession I made recently…I had left the church for a while and recently came back. I made a general confession and, after careful examination of conscience, said every sin and possible sin I could ever remember committing. I also went in with a few questions on if certain things were sins or not. So here’s what I’m concerned with. It’s kind of long, I apologize in advance.

My BF and I are in a long distance relationship, and have been together a while. Every night I text him “Goodnight, I love you with all my heart”. But we have been in a rough patch lately. There are some days I do love him with all my heart, and other days where it’s just kinda tough. He’s aware of this as well, but I still say it every night. One night as I was typing it I started wondering “am I lying everyday?” Now I’ve been undergoing alot of personal stress as well and it has been overflowing onto the relationship so I think alot of the hesitation comes from that (and the distance) but I wanted to check with the priest to see if he thought I was sinning daily. So I went to confession, and towards the end explained it all. At one point I said something like “If I stop saying it, our relationship will be in jeopardy”. Ultimately the priest told me it’s normal to have bad spells in relationships and that I wasn’t lying/sinning.

Now fast forward to after the confession. I started playing the confession over in my head. I know that going to confession and saying a sin you have no intent to stop is sacrilegious and invalidates the whole thing. So now I am HIGHLY concerned that I have done that…I don’t explicitly remember thinking to myself “Well if it’s a sin I’m going to continue it anyway”, but I also don’t remember thinking “If it’s a sin, I will change what I say”. And now I’m second guessing myself especially after I said the “If I stop saying it…” bit. I think I went in with an open mind and neutral thought on it and just wanted advice on if it was a sin or not. But again, now I’m second guessing myself and my intent, and am wondering if I invalidated the whole thing, or I’m waaaaaay overthinking this.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. Hopefully I explained it well enough. I can’t think clearly on it and would love some outside advice!


#2

Yes you are way overthinking it. To say “I love you” doesn’t mean that every minute or every day you love everything about the other person. I can honestly say I love you to my wife even though I don’t like the way she acted or what she said at one time or another.

If you really don’t love the person but say it anyway, and really know it is a sin and do it anyway and say God, I know it’s wrong and I’m going to do it anyway, we’ll… that’s a different story.


#3

Thank you for your reply. My gut told me it wasn’t a sin, mostly due to how much my stress is effecting my clarity on things right now. But I still felt I needed to ask the priest.

My main concern in this matter, however, is whether or not I went to confession with the intention to continue saying it if it indeed was a sin. Because if I did, then that is sacrilege and invalidates the whole thing :frowning:


#4

What you described seems TO ME {my opinion] is not to be a MORTAL sin as it seems to not be what the church MIGHT consider to be a "serious matter:

Discuss it the next time you get to Confession; and if its REALLY bothering YOU get to Confessions ASAP


#5

Yeah, that…


#7

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