Did I miss something? (vocation-related, skills like cooking and cleaning)


#1

I am in my late 20s and am perpetually tortured with the feeling that I missed out on something major that has prepared other women be good wives, mothers, and caretakers. I grew up in a society where women were raised to believe that they should not “limit” themselves in any way and that it is ok to focus on education and career. There was not a whole lot of emphasis on certain skills, such as cooking, cleaning, and generally being submissive and supportive. These skills, while perhaps secondary to the spiritual preparation for vocation, are essential to our daily lives and despite changes in social structure over the past century or so still fall predominantly on women. Having been exposed to more traditional cultures and societies from the time I entered college, I have become more anxious about my lack of preparation in these areas and inability to serve as a woman. I know you can do things like take a cooking class, but it seems like it is difficult to really develop in these areas without consistent practice and as a single woman living on her own, there aren’t many opportunities to cook for others or “practice” cleaning a household with more than one person in it.

For those of you who are married or in religious life, how did you learn the skills? How much can you really prepare for these parts of one’s vocation?


#2

I can relate since I was brought up in a similar environment. My parents pushed education and wanting me to spend lots of time studying so they did not expect me to participate in household choirs to give me a break. Up until the day I left home to go to university, my mom literally sectioned my grapefruit for me every morning. Once in residence, I would always ask the person beside me at the cafetria to section my grapefurit because I still couldn’t do it. Most people readily agreed since they knew if I tried to do it myself, they would be squirted with grapefruit juice. It baffled me that these other 18 year olds could actually section a grapefruit.

So how did I learn? Through roomates, they would pass on little tricks here and there. Such as dish soap and a newspaper does a good job to clean mirrors.

I have come to realize on the cooking side of things, few woman do it regularly. They are too busy so frozen dinners are a good solution. I really believe that cooking is a talent that some woman just don’t have.

And yes, there is frustration along the way but I thinki it is like riding a bicycle. Get on and go and accept there will be a lot of falls

CM


#3

I can very much sympathize with what you’re feeling, because of the culture that has encouraged us to leave the traditional roles of womanhood, but also because growing up I didn’t have much guidance from my parents (don’t get me wrong, they were good-hearted parents that did a lot for me, but in other areas). I think the answer is yes – you have missed something, but it’s not because you chose not to learn, it’s because maybe our societies don’t value those things as much anymore, since we have so many modern conveniences. One casualty of this paradigm shift is the “home economics” classes that they used to offer in schools – when I was in ninth grade I think it was, was the last year they were going to offer it. I didn’t value what we were learning in class then, but boy, now I wish that old lady was still giving her lessons! Anywho, suffice it to say that I had to learn on my own just about everything about the practical side of being a wife and mother. I have in no way “arrived” but I’ll share some things I’ve done to learn what I have. First, I read books about household organization from the library (and there are plenty of websites dedicated to this subject as well) and how to clean the house, and learned a lot of tips from those. I found that just because I was living by myself, I still had a share of cleaning to do around the house, laundry, and etc. Also, since I can’t go back to my ninth grade home ec class, I did a search online, and actually found old home economics books that have been scanned online for free download. If you’re interested, PM me and I’ll share the links to them. One last thing about cleaning that I started implementing (and admittedly still stick to erratically) is that I made a weekly cleaning schedule, outlining certain chores I wanted to do on certain days. That way I didn’t have to spend all Saturday morning getting the house clean and I could do other things with my day.
As far as cooking goes, that was just something that I just had to keep trying at. My mother had given me a wonderful cookbook when I first moved out of the house – the Joy of Cooking – and it has everything you could possibly image about foods, cooking, preparing, measuring equivalents, etc. It’s like the Bible to the culinary world, in my opinion. What I did was invite friends over and cook for them, or have little parties where I could try my hand at some recipes, and this obviously forced me to try different recipes and cook for others. At Christmastime, I would always try to bake something, cookies, pies, what not, to start to learn how to do that. And, from that, I think I’ve perfected Pecan Butter Balls – they just about melt in your mouth! :wink:
Aside from that, it’s literally just been a work in progress. You keep picking up tips as you go along, and incorporate what you want. Best of luck, and if you have other questions, don’t hesitate to ask!


#4

Another though occured to me. You do not need to have a party to cook. You can make a dish that serves 6 and freeze individual portions. A lot cheaper than option than constantly feeding others. And then after a long day, you have something to microwave for supper

CM


#5

Cooking, in all honesty, is a skill that can be learned through practice. Look up a book on “cooking for one or two” (and something like my “must have” Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook with the red plaid cover for some of the nitty gritty “how to” and what cuts of meat are best for what dishes, which fish you can swap in a recipe for another fish based on availability/price, etc). Then you just do it … over and over again. Baking, while a bit trickier, is also a skill that can be learned. And a cookbook filled with recipes for 1-2 people + a basic cookbook like the BH&G Cookbook and a lot of practice are all it really takes to master cooking and baking.

The hardest part about cooking is learning how to back track to get everything to come out done at the same time. Other than that, it’s mostly a simple “follow the written instructions”. But I don’t believe cooking is a talent that you either have/don’t have and there’s nothing to be done about it, there’s just people who are more or less interested in cultivating that skill.

Cleaning–well, remember unless you marry a widower with 4 children, you’re not likely to add more than one person at a time (first the husband, then usually babies come one at a time, though as a mom of twins, I’ll acknowledge there are exceptions), so it’s not like going from cleaning for 1 and then cleaning for 6. So work out organization and plans for cleaning (I really like these chore charts that I found here:
Main Chart and More Charts (the main chart link on the second page is broken, but the link that I put to “Main Chart” works). As the family and space expands, you just have more to do, but it’s more of the same, not something totally different. Personally, I do tend to splurge on my cleaning products. I am very much into the scents and find I am much more willing to clean a bathroom that ends up smelling of eucalyptus mint (method products) than other scents–other people may have other preferences or no preference, but there’s a lot of cleaning products out there that do a great job and cater to your preferences as to what “clean” should smell like (I love method’s cucumber all-purpose spray, it just smells so “clean” to me while pine and lemon just don’t do it for me).

Sewing–this one I don’t do so much. I can sew on buttons and I can do simple stuff (hem up, let a hem out, simple tear repair). Again, it’s mostly a skill that is learnable if you want to (although some of that can be really art–like the seamstress who put together my daughter’s First Communion dress from a photo of the dresses worn by the flower girls when I’d gotten married). But if you want to learn how to sew simple dresses (where you can always control where the hemline/neckline fall), there’s classes.


#6

Very briefly-- look for a copy of "Home Comforts" by Cheryl Mendelson online. You can pick up a used copy very, very cheaply. It's a terrific resource on the domestic arts, and explains the how and the whys very well. I'm pretty much a self-taught homemaker. This book was super-helpful, plus a few of the women's magazines like BH&G...

Best,

Margaret


#7

[quote="iwillrisenow, post:1, topic:215676"]
I grew up in a society where women were raised to believe that they should not "limit" themselves in any way

[/quote]

The black irony of the feminist movement is that what started out as a valid cry of "Women should have choices!" ended up as the tyrannical "THE only proper choice is outside the home!" In reality, a woman is severely limited if she has to depend on ( = be a slave to) the infrastructure and industry for the products she uses, whether clothing, home decor, food, gifts or toys for kids. If she can cook/bake, sew, knit, crochet, tat, embroider, craft her own cards, etc., she has a HUGE range of options, not to mention the HUGE savings, and the HUGE satisfaction (& in the case of food, HUGE health benefits, especially now with all the GMO garbage). Besides which, when you stay home, YOU are your own manager (of time, resources, etc.). One of the biggest lies in "women's herstory" (:rotfl: :rolleyes:) is that feminism somehow "liberated" women. On the contrary: the Liberettistas fail to tell you that one of the keenest sponsors of the whole early feminist movement was the National Association of Manufacturers. Why? Because they needed drones!

But to your question: besides books and articles, there're also lots of DVD's (or videos) on any conceivable number of topics (I just bought a booklet-cum-CD on tatting). For 3-D types of skills like the domestic ones, I find a book alone often doesn't cut it (or else it takes a lot longer to figure out, and I prefer cutting to the chase). If you have even average intelligence, nimble fingers and time, you can learn just about anything your greatgrandma knew. :thumbsup:


#8

How do you learn? You experiment and make lots of mistakes! :D

I've made plenty of meals that have raised eyebrows :p, and then some shockers that the entire family just devoured! I'm not a big recipe person, but I do like researching them online for ideas, and then I just make my own twists on the idea.

Cleaning... you just learn as you go. You can't really prepare for stuff like this. It's always a learning experience... especially when husbands (who don't put down the toilet seat) and children (like boys who get distracted and pee in every direction in the bathroom) come around... I mean, unless you want to simulate these situations and then just clean it up (which would be a little weird :eek:)... I guess that would prepare you! :shrug:
:rotfl:

Eh, don't stress over it. Crazy experimental meals are always good stories to tell your kids when they're older! :)


#9

[quote="iwillrisenow, post:1, topic:215676"]
I am in my late 20s and am perpetually tortured with the feeling that I missed out on something major that has prepared other women be good wives, mothers, and caretakers. I grew up in a society where women were raised to believe that they should not "limit" themselves in any way and that it is ok to focus on education and career. There was not a whole lot of emphasis on certain skills, such as cooking, cleaning, and generally being submissive and supportive. These skills, while perhaps secondary to the spiritual preparation for vocation, are essential to our daily lives and despite changes in social structure over the past century or so still fall predominantly on women. Having been exposed to more traditional cultures and societies from the time I entered college, I have become more anxious about my lack of preparation in these areas and inability to serve as a woman. I know you can do things like take a cooking class, but it seems like it is difficult to really develop in these areas without consistent practice and as a single woman living on her own, there aren't many opportunities to cook for others or "practice" cleaning a household with more than one person in it.

For those of you who are married or in religious life, how did you learn the skills? How much can you really prepare for these parts of one's vocation?

[/quote]

A cooking class is actually a really good idea. Cooking is all about understanding the essentials. When you understand the basics, you don't need recipes, all you really need is a bit of focus. Though using recipes is a great way to get an understanding of what flavours complement each other. Its like any other project, and once you get comfortable cooking for one, its really easy to just add a bit more to make it enough for two! If you have a friend who cooks well, cook with her, you'll learn more that way than any other.

As for cleaning, again, it really is just a question of getting used to the basics, which can be developed by settting yourself a routine. If you wash the floor once a week, wether it needs it or not, you'll get into the habit pretty quickly..and while cleaning for five is more work than cleaning for one, the essentials are the same, though the timing may be different. We live in the country, with gardens and animals, so the family and guests track dirt though my house daily. I end up sweeping at least three times a day, and in the winter, I may wash the highest traffic floors almost daily, but it all depends on the work and the weather.

Being supportive and submissive is just a state of being less concerned with yourself than with others, hospitality is essential.

If you're interested, check out The Quotidian Mysteries by Kathleen Norris, she is not a Catholic, but she sees as a Catholic. It is about the value and beauty of "laundry, liturgy, and women's work" and it is fantastic.

blessings and good luck!


#10

[quote="iwillrisenow, post:1, topic:215676"]
I am in my late 20s and am perpetually tortured with the feeling that I missed out on something major that has prepared other women be good wives, mothers, and caretakers. I grew up in a society where women were raised to believe that they should not "limit" themselves in any way and that it is ok to focus on education and career. There was not a whole lot of emphasis on certain skills, such as cooking, cleaning, and generally being submissive and supportive. ?

[/quote]

I don't know that being submissive and supportive is so much a skill as an attitude toward marriage. That being said IMO parents are guilty of neglect if they don't raise boys as well of girls to learn basic skills of living, not limited to caring for a house, cooking, laundry, mending, simple home repairs etc., but also basic auto maintenance, and handling finances.

I second the Better Homes and Garden cookbook as the place to learn the basics, attack it as you would a training manual for a class at work. ignore what you don't need for your "job" and learn the foundational skills. plus: read the manuals that come with your appliances. The Betty Crocker cookbook that is intended for teens is also a great starting point if you are truly helpless, and every kid ought to take one to college if they are going to be in an apartment.

flylady is the place for teaching how to run a clean house and again following the program is a step by step tutorial

there is a home organizer and expert named Mary Ellen, don't know if her books and column are still out there, but she helped me immensely when my ADD was diagnosed and I got my act together in my 40s (while there was still time to teach my kids right and emerge from the chaos).

as for "attitude" read the rule of St. Benedict or a good guide to Christians living the rule in daily life such as Life Giving Way.


#11

[quote="ndlclckr, post:7, topic:215676"]
The black irony of the feminist movement is that what started out as a valid cry of "Women should have choices!" ended up as the tyrannical "THE only proper choice is outside the home!" In reality, a woman is severely limited if she has to depend on ( = be a slave to) the infrastructure and industry for the products she uses, whether clothing, home decor, food, gifts or toys for kids. If she can cook/bake, sew, knit, crochet, tat, embroider, craft her own cards, etc., she has a HUGE range of options, not to mention the HUGE savings, and the HUGE satisfaction (& in the case of food, HUGE health benefits, especially now with all the GMO garbage). Besides which, when you stay home, YOU are your own manager (of time, resources, etc.). One of the biggest lies in "women's herstory" (:rotfl: :rolleyes:) is that feminism somehow "liberated" women. On the contrary: the Liberettistas fail to tell you that one of the keenest sponsors of the whole early feminist movement was the National Association of Manufacturers. Why? Because they needed drones!

But to your question: besides books and articles, there're also lots of DVD's (or videos) on any conceivable number of topics (I just bought a booklet-cum-CD on tatting). For 3-D types of skills like the domestic ones, I find a book alone often doesn't cut it (or else it takes a lot longer to figure out, and I prefer cutting to the chase). If you have even average intelligence, nimble fingers and time, you can learn just about anything your greatgrandma knew. :thumbsup:

[/quote]

Blaming the feminist movement is getting old. I believe there are other factors to consider like the evolution of our culture. If a man can make 6 figures outside of a large metro city...then yes...women can choose to be a domestic engineer.

Both of my young adult children, boy and girl, "know how" to cook, clean, use a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, balance their checkbook (although they both do that on-line now), pay rent, insurance, make dr. appts....change a tire on their vehicle, use a skill saw, hammer, nails, cordless drill, hang a shade, hang curtains, change the oil in their car, know that when the radiator is steaming to wait a bit, use a rag and remove the cap on their vehicle...they know where the windshield fluid, the oil, transmission fluid goes in their cars. They bought their own cars by working.

My son HFA autistic and living in student apartments while he attends college. He cooks his own meals....Two of his "normal" room mates bought meal tickets at the university, so they basically eat toast and cereal at the apartment. The other "normal" room mate can't cook to save his life. He asked to use one of my son's pots to make spaghetti and burned that. My son is still scratching his head...how do you burn spaghetti? This young man has turned the wrong burner on and wonders why the water won't boil. He admitted to my son he never learned to work a stove. He said he mother took care of all of that. My son, is teaching him how to cook....and my son is the one with the disability.

Cooking and cleaning is not something that "women" do...it is not gender specific. My size 2, 108 lb. daughter can change a tire, and check the oil in her car and make baked chicken that is sooo good. When she was in high school, she asked if she could paint her room. She has participated in the reno of our house and can wield a paint brush and knows "what type" of paint goes on the wall and what type goes on the trim. She painted her room, by herself.

All of which have absolutely nothing to do with feminist movement....more to do with how the parents of the children have done while they were growing up.

To the OP don't fret that you are domestically challenged. Watch Food Network and HGTV, you will get the hang of it.


#12

[quote="Julianna, post:11, topic:215676"]
Blaming the feminist movement is getting old. I believe there are other factors to consider like the evolution of our culture. If a man can make 6 figures outside of a large metro city...then yes...women can choose to be a domestic engineer.

Both of my young adult children, boy and girl, "know how" to cook, clean, use a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, balance their checkbook (although they both do that on-line now), pay rent, insurance, make dr. appts....change a tire on their vehicle, use a skill saw, hammer, nails, cordless drill, hang a shade, hang curtains, change the oil in their car, know that when the radiator is steaming to wait a bit, use a rag and remove the cap on their vehicle...they know where the windshield fluid, the oil, transmission fluid goes in their cars. They bought their own cars by working.

My son HFA autistic and living in student apartments while he attends college. He cooks his own meals....Two of his "normal" room mates bought meal tickets at the university, so they basically eat toast and cereal at the apartment. The other "normal" room mate can't cook to save his life. He asked to use one of my son's pots to make spaghetti and burned that. My son is still scratching his head...how do you burn spaghetti? This young man has turned the wrong burner on and wonders why the water won't boil. He admitted to my son he never learned to work a stove. He said he mother took care of all of that. My son, is teaching him how to cook....and my son is the one with the disability.

Cooking and cleaning is not something that "women" do...it is not gender specific. My size 2, 108 lb. daughter can change a tire, and check the oil in her car and make baked chicken that is sooo good. When she was in high school, she asked if she could paint her room. She has participated in the reno of our house and can wield a paint brush and knows "what type" of paint goes on the wall and what type goes on the trim. She painted her room, by herself.

All of which have absolutely nothing to do with feminist movement....more to do with how the parents of the children have done while they were growing up.

To the OP don't fret that you are domestically challenged. Watch Food Network and HGTV, you will get the hang of it.

[/quote]

This is a very good point. Please don't think less of yourself because you were raised to focus on education and intellectual developement. Those are important and valuable. Women really should consider their opportunities "limitless." We are not all called to be SAHMs or domestic goddesses. Men ought to know as well as women how to take care of themselves and their homes. The feminist movement, before it became indistinguishable from the pro-abortion movement, brought about many good and essential changes for women. The pursuit of education and understanding outside the home is not a pursuit that must stand in the way of happy domestic life - back in the early 20th century, my grandmother was one of four women in her University graduating class, she traveled, learned shooting and archery, and raised eight children as a devout Catholic SAHM, while never abandoning her feminist principals. It is only when feminism pushes for us to ignore gender differences, deny life, and despise men that feminism becomes problematic.

blessings!


#13

[quote="iwillrisenow, post:1, topic:215676"]

For those of you who are married or in religious life, how did you learn the skills? How much can you really prepare for these parts of one's vocation?

[/quote]

I am a guy, but I feel like I can offer some insight as well. I am also in my late 20s and single.

From a young age I learned to cook and do other household things as part of my responsibilities growing up. In college, my roommates and I would cook meals together and assign cleaning duties. So I suppose I learned over time.

I think for you to be better versed with cooking is to just start by making simple things you like as part of your routine. Cook eggs in the morning. Then start making them in different ways. Next move on to pancakes or french toast or omelettes or something for variety.

For dinners, since it is just you...pick some things you like that are good for leftovers that you can either eat for dinner the next day or make lunches out of to bring to work. It doesn't have to be an extravagant meal, just something with a few different items. Maybe you cook some pasta and steam some veggies. Or you can bake chicken and make some other veggies and then cut the chicken up to make a sandwich during the week. You could try casseroles or italian dishes, maybe fry up some shrimp.

Maybe suggest to a friend that she come over and you two cook something together...this way you can learn from her, etc.

In terms of cleaning, this is something you kind of learn through practice and pick up tips along the way from other people. I have my own apartment and clean regularly which consists of: cleaning the counters, floors, bathroom, vacuuming, dusting, etc. If you set up some sort of routine and do your best not to allow things to get really messy, cleaning isn't much of a process at all.

And finally...don't feel like you should be the only one who does this stuff around the house. You and your future husband should be dividing these responsibilities. I know whenever I end up getting married that I don't expect my wife to cook every meal or clean up 100%. We'll split up these things as appropriate. I'm friends with a married couple where the husband does about 90% of the cooking and it works out great for them.


#14

More input for a guy. My wife and I have been married for 15 years. We both are educated and work professionally. Our kids are not little anymore but they are young. Over the years we have had the flexibility that allowed one of us the be home for the kids and to prepare meals. I have always enjoyed cooking and currently do a majority of our meal prep. My wife was raised in a home (as was I) where her mother cooked for them every night. To this day, my wife would rather not cook.

God will help you find a guy that complements you and your abilities. You might even find a guy that will be able to afford a housekeeper.


#15

[quote="puzzleannie, post:10, topic:215676"]
I don't know that being submissive and supportive is so much a skill as an attitude toward marriage. That being said IMO parents are guilty of neglect if they don't raise boys as well of girls to learn basic skills of living, not limited to caring for a house, cooking, laundry, mending, simple home repairs etc., but also basic auto maintenance, and handling finances.
.

[/quote]

Agreed. It’s not uncommon to find those basic skills are lacking in college graduates.

And it’s not just in those areas. Going a step further than balancing a check book I see many young (and some not so young) that can't manage large purchases. I was 12 when I watched my dad "close the deal" on a piece of farm equipment that was over $50,000. Everything from the options and service to the warranty was negotiated. How he handled that transaction has stuck in my mind for over 30 years. Too often today I see kids (anyone under 35) that allow sales people to "sell" them something rather than seizing control and "buying" what they want.

The show "Property Virgins" drives me nuts watching young people overpay for property while getting terrible advice from the show's realtor Sandra Rinomato. Has it ever occurred to her that every time she expresses interest in a property the owners are suddenly considering another offer - even if it’s been on the market for a year? Even worse this show serves as a model to other young people that "this is how you do it".

It’s usually a case of dad brought home the new car, or negotiations were conducted with the realtor with the children out of the room, the kids didn't see how "business" was conducted. My wife grew up that way; to this day she refuses to deal with car salesmen and doesn't want to be around when I do it. She will tell me what she wants then waits for me to find it and buy it. When we bought our homes she was only involved with the negotiations on the first house, after seeing how complicated it was (at least the way I did it) she didn't want to be involved. As of late I've taken our sons with me on some of these large purchases to see how you can get what you want without paying for the things you don't want. Recently I was shocked at how much of me had rubbed off when we were at a Hastings (book and video store) and my 11 year old was interested in a used video game (they take trades). It was already marked down a he asked the sales person to take another $5 off. The sales person and I both laughed but he persisted on asking for the lower price. When she realized he was serious she looked something up and accepted his offer. Then it occured to me, while a car was a big ticket item for me the $20 (now $15) video game was a big ticket item for him.


#16

You really can't blame the feminist movement for everything because believe me between the ages of 6 - 12 I did not know anything about and I still had no interest in housework, cooking or sewing. Around 12/13 my mother got sick and then us kids got stuck with everything. We ate sloppy, salty pasta for almost a week, meals were either too sweet, salty or wrong texture, they were definitely late, soups were the worst. I took over the cooking, it wasn't pretty I didn't know how. I taught myself. I bake a better bread than my mother if she doesn't say so herself, through trial and error (lots of it) I learned. Still have no interest in housework but I can cook and I love baking. I don't really think you need anyone to teach you, I certainly didn't it was either sink or swim for us, two 13 year olds and an 11 year old we learned to swim and it wasn't easy. I remember my sister crying cause the rice was either hard or salty and the pasta slimy, so my advice is to have some back up just in case we ate a lot of crackers and cheese.

I am definitely looking for a guy with some domestic skills, most of mine begin and end in the kitchen.:cool:


#17

I was the queen of microwave cooking until I met my husband. He taught me how to really cook. Thankfully he is happy with very simple meals. Neither of us like fancy or spicy foods.

He did try to teach me how to make spaghetti sauce once. After we had to have the ceiling repainted (how was I to know sauce could splatter so high???:D. It looked like I had slaughtered a pig in there) he has never asked me to make sauce again. He makes it when he wants it. I do most of the cooking, though.

I like crock pot recipes. Dump all the incredients in the crock pot, cook it for 8 hours and have enough leftovers for 3 or 4 days. It's wonderful.

Neither of us has a clue how to bake. We're both overweight and if we have sweets in the house we will eat them, so we try not to have them in the house at all.

I have a cookbook where every recipe has 6 ingredients or less. I like that.

As for cleaning, my husband has ADHD and it is very difficult for him to organize things (yes this is a nice way of saying he is MESSY). I combat this by helping him to organize his things and designating several areas of the house where he can be as messy as he wants (behind closed doors). He knows if he leaves his stuff outside of those areas that I will move it.


#18

[quote="masha, post:12, topic:215676"]
This is a very good point. Please don't think less of yourself because you were raised to focus on education and intellectual developement. Those are important and valuable. Women really should consider their opportunities "limitless." We are not all called to be SAHMs or domestic goddesses. Men ought to know as well as women how to take care of themselves and their homes. The feminist movement, before it became indistinguishable from the pro-abortion movement, brought about many good and essential changes for women. The pursuit of education and understanding outside the home is not a pursuit that must stand in the way of happy domestic life - back in the early 20th century, my grandmother was one of four women in her University graduating class, she traveled, learned shooting and archery, and raised eight children as a devout Catholic SAHM, while never abandoning her feminist principals. It is only when feminism pushes for us to ignore gender differences, deny life, and despise men that feminism becomes problematic.

blessings!

[/quote]

Beautiful! absolutely beautiful.:thumbsup:

I guess I was amazed at my son's room mate not knowing how to use a stove and do laundry. My son was amazed too. He thought that parents teach their kids (no matter the gender) how to take care of themselves. Even the Duggers....the boys have turns doing laundry and cooking and the girls help dad out and when they built their house the girls were out there with hammers too.

My mother always told my sister and I, "Learn how to do something, I don't care if it's tasting pies in a pie factory, learn a skill. Do not be dependant on a man to take care of you. It is not realistic."


#19

wrt learning, people have you-tubes on just about everything. This has helped learn to knit and to make cheese, and I have seem some on more basic stuff like folding shirts.

I think the main thing is to add things in slowly rather than trying to re-make your life all at once. For example, buy a bunch of stuff to eat rice and pasta with, and just make rice or pasta to go with it each night til you get good at that. Then add in salad. Then start making a big thing like chile, spaghetti sauce, and freeze some.

You'll get there if you go slowly, and also consider your eating as part of your education. A lot of single people don't cook for themselves because they think, why bother? Well you are "bothering" because you are looking forward and thinking about whAt skills you will need later on.

I only wish I had done this beforehand myself :) You are doing the right thing!!!!


#20

Do like me... Marry a Chef. Hire a maid... Take up some form of endurance training that involves running from one location to the next completing a task (that will get you ready for kids who couldn't care less that you "just cleaned that"..) and moving towards another. Keep up those office, multi tasking managerial skills. You will need to be able to do 10 things at once. perhaps while driving (combat driving might be in order too!).

LOL... ok, in all seriousness, you've gotten some good ideas. As the wife of a chef, who doesn't like to cook, I only realized recently that I'm a pretty good cook. And it's really just been about asking questions, looking up recipes, I have a live in "teacher" but you can take different classes. Most people don't even know what really good food is. (Yes, I have been informed that I'm a food snob now!) So unless you burn things all the time you're already steps ahead. I like the idea behind Rachel Rays meals under 30 minutes. I don't have TIME for elaborate. Oh, and when you're a mommy, the Sneaky chef comes in handy!!!! I never thought I'd make or even know how to make baby food until the time came. One book, a few supplies, a creative mind... good to go! Don't sell yourself short, just 'cause you were raised to get an education. Who knows, you might have had a lowsy cooking upbringing... and do things like boil a roast, AND not be able to balance a check book...

We all have lots of things that we could be better at. It's NEVER to late to do any of it... and if you want to cook more often, invite your friends over at least once a month and ALL of you bring the ingredients for a single dish and cook together... Themes are fun for this...

It was fun to say the least!


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