Did something really wrong


#1

. Like my title says, I got really really drunk and i cheated on my husband.( i am not using the drunk card) I dont know what to do. I need to go to confession. I feel awful, sick to my stomach, guilty and now i feel worthless…i am ashamed … i think god will give up on me. I have decided to not drink any more…at all…because i cannot handle it. I am so lost, I do not know why i did it. I messed up really really bad. I do not know what to do. I cant stop crying . and thinking about what happend…
Please pray for me. I need prayers. How can i make it up to my husband and god…i commited adultry. I feel like a horrible person. I did not tell my husband yet. I think i need to confess first to god and then i can have the strenght to tell him.:(:(:(:(:(:(:frowning:


#2

[quote="lauraella, post:1, topic:186943"]
. Like my title says, I got really really drunk and i cheated on my husband.( i am not using the drunk card) I dont know what to do. I need to go to confession. I feel awful, sick to my stomach, guilty and now i feel worthless...i am ashamed ... i think god will give up on me. I have decided to not drink any more..at all...because i cannot handle it. I am so lost, I do not know why i did it. I messed up really really bad. I do not know what to do. I cant stop crying . and thinking about what happend....
Please pray for me. I need prayers. How can i make it up to my husband and god...i commited adultry. I feel like a horrible person. I did not tell my husband yet. I think i need to confess first to god and then i can have the strenght to tell him.:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

[/quote]

First of all, stop thinking that God will give up on you, the worst thing anyone can do is lose hope & despair ...for the devil uses despair to his advantage...
Its hard I know, especially when you have all of those hurting feelings dragging you down, but you have to realize that GOD LOVES YOU (despite how you feel)
Get to confession as soon as possible! God Loves you lauraella... in fact so much that He died FOR YOU on the cross.... all your sins are nailed to that Cross... sin is conquered by Christ once & for all on Calvary... all you have to do if say an act of contrition ( a perfect one if you can... i.e. out of Love for God & your husband) & claim that healing grace (by going to confession) won by Christ 2000 years ago.

1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Then do the penance the priest gives you...

Giving up the drinking is an excellent idea... Tell your husband as well, you need all the support you can get to heal

Here are some extra things that will help also (daily things you can do to heal)

Pray the rosary
Read your Bible
Recieve Christ in the Eucharist frequently
Go to confession frequently
Give yourself to Christ everyday:

Prayer of St Ignatius of Loyola:

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it
all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more.
Amen

And of course stay away from any area that you know you will tempted in... do something you like to do instead (ex:spend time with family)

Praying for you

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be
World without end
Amen.

Oh My Jesus, Forgive us our sins
Save us from the fires of Hell
Bring all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of thine mercy
Amen

God Bless you

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary


#3

I would recommend talking to your pastor. Also remember that you not only cheated on your husband, you have cheated on God Himself. You married God when you said your vows.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.


#4

I would suggest you pursue an alcoholism program. Even if you don't feel it "fits" you. Besides going to your pastor, they will help you stay away from alcohol and give you the tools you need to ask for forgiveness.

I'd also suggest you get tested for STD's

Act, and do not dispair. All is not lost. But don't bring your husband empty promises. There is almost no way you can break a habit of alcohol or the chains of "one in a while I get drunk" by yourself (or with the support of a loved one)...you need professional or atleast guided help.


#5

What's done is done. Go to confession.. pour your heart out to your Priest. When he says the words of absolution, you are cleansed from your sin and you need to believe that God has forgiven you. What you did was wrong - you know that.. but God is merciful and forgiving and He loves you very much. He is your Father.. and just like there isn't a single thing I couldn't forgive if my own children were sorry, so it is with God. So do that ASAP.

Next, if you have a problem with drinking, go to AA. Ask your Priest if he knows where meetings are held. Getting test for STDs is also good advice. Of course you know, ZERO contact/communication with whomever you slept with.

I'm going to pray for you.. and your husband. You can get through this. May God heal your relationship.

:console:


#6

Go to confession and obey your priest.

The reason I say that is your priest may very well tell you not to tell your husband. Remember, your PRIEST has seen many other couples down this road and has received special training. Obey what he says.

Telling your husband will hurt him more.


#7

God will not give up on you. Never think that. You must go to confession even though it’s difficult; you will feel so much better once you are in a state of grace. Tell your husband if you have not already. That will be even more difficult, but it will also help. I’ll dedicate my rosary to this issue tonight.
God is with you.

O Mary, concieved without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Amen.


#8

Call right away and make an appointment to see a priest for confession as soon as you can, and do NOT tell your husband unless it becomes necessary (like you both need to be treated for an STD), unless the priest tells you to. There is no reason to tell your husband, because it generally serves only the teller and not the spouse who has been betrayed.

Also, Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, You see what drinking can lead you to. Find people who are committed to quitting drinking and who are quitting themselves (you should be able to look up AA in the phone book) and join them, and quit drinking. Lent is a great time to do this, as you will be offering up your penance and mortification along with lots of other Catholics, and this will strengthen your prayers and your penance, which will strengthen you in your endeavor, as God will be sending you grace to help you.

And stay away from places which conduce to your drinking as well.

PS If you go to AA or someplace similar, stick with the women, do not hang out with the men.


#9

More than what?

Not telling him is lying by ommission.

Don’t continue to hurt your husband by furthering your disobedience to your vows.

How can you honor someone by living a lie?


#10

I agree that telling him —AT THIS POINT-- will hurt him more. The truth needs to come out, but only in a context where the OP is emotinally able to support herself, has a support system and is aware that her husband will need to deal with this. Telling at this point could be psycologically damaging and will likely have a bad outcome becuase the OP hasn’t done anything to correct the problem.

Unless a priest feels that she needs to speak right away, or there’s an STD involved that the husband must be made aware of, I think it’d be best to confess the sin in the context of a 12 step program. It not only gives the OP a support system, but is evidence to the OP’s husband that she is activly fighting her problems. It will also give the OP the words she needs so she dosn’t blame the alcohol.


#11

The OP should obey her confessor on this matter. He knows more about it than you or I ever will.

Husband should NOT be told until/unless Father instructs her to.


#12

[quote="purplesunshine, post:10, topic:186943"]
I agree that telling him ---AT THIS POINT-- will hurt him more. The truth needs to come out, but only in a context where the OP is emotinally able to support herself, has a support system and is aware that her husband will need to deal with this. Telling at this point could be psycologically damaging and will likely have a bad outcome becuase the OP hasn't done anything to correct the problem.

Unless a priest feels that she needs to speak right away, or there's an STD involved that the husband must be made aware of, I think it'd be best to confess the sin in the context of a 12 step program. It not only gives the OP a support system, but is evidence to the OP's husband that she is activly fighting her problems. It will also give the OP the words she needs so she dosn't blame the alcohol.

[/quote]

The OP should obey her confessor on this matter. He knows more about it than you or I ever will.

Husband should NOT be told until/unless Father instructs her to.


#13

[quote="kage_ar, post:11, topic:186943"]
The OP should obey her confessor on this matter. He knows more about it than you or I ever will.

Husband should NOT be told until/unless Father instructs her to.

[/quote]

Father's job is to address the sin. He may offer ADVICE about telling. OP is NOT obligated to listen.


#14

This is very good advice. The priest is taking the place of Jesus in the confessional and as such, can speak with authority on what would be best to do. The OP sounds very emotional at this point and probably needs to wait awhile on any course of action except to go to confession and pray.


#15

[quote="kage_ar, post:11, topic:186943"]
The OP should obey her confessor on this matter. He knows more about it than you or I ever will.

Husband should NOT be told until/unless Father instructs her to.

[/quote]

Agreed. I would not want to be told... if it were a one time thing and my husband was terribly sorry and was never going to do it again. Why would I want to know?


#16

I wish every priest deserved the faith that you have in them. I’ve met priests who have said that contraception and premarital sex aren’t sins, and they operate in good standing with their orders and hear confessions regularly.


#17

Don’t tell your husband. He will forever look at you different.

Go to confession. It’s okay. God forgives you.

We’re praying for you.

Bask in His love-His forgiveness-His glory.

God bless you.


#18

I will be praying for you. Go to confession, but I'd also reflect deeply on why this happened...are you and your husband struggling in some way, in your marriage? Have you grown apart? Is your marriage great, but something lacking inside of YOU? I'd work very hard at trying to sort out why you were tempted (alcohol wasn't the driving force but didn't help) and allow the Holy Spirit to enlighten you. I hope things get better. :console:


#19

[quote="whatevergirl, post:18, topic:186943"]
*I will be praying for you. *

[/quote]

Same here. :gopray:


#20

I want to agree with Kage.. but what if she is pregnant because of this one night fling? What if she contracted a disease, and by not telling her husband, she will be passing it onto him?

Such a hard decision. I will be praying for you.


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