Did this woman receive good advice about her engagement?


#1

I recently found a reply on an Catholic website in which a priest advised the questioner concering dating and divorce:

The advice given to the woman who was seeking a declartion of nullity was:

I certainly hope you get the annulment. But until your marriage is proven to be null, the Church still considers you to be a married woman. You have obviously been acting as if this is not the case.

You do not have to completely cut your friendship with your fiance out of your life. But it is necessary that you put your marriage plans aside until you are free to pursue them. For now, honesty requires that you live as the married person you are, until this is proven otherwise.

The message, in my opinion, is mixed. The priest does remind her that she’s acting as if she’s married. However, he fails to recognize that she is involved in leading her fiance in sin. What do you think? Was his advice correct?


#2

I think it is possible that you are not reading the priest’s advice carefully enough. He is not telling the woman that she is free to engage in an illicit relationship with her friend. He clearly tells her that she must put aside her marriage plans until she is free to pursue them, and that she should “live as the married person [she is], until this is proven otherwise.” All that he says about her fiance is that she is not required to entirely cut him out of her life. In other words, she is free to continue to be friends with him, but she is not free to marry him or to engage in any relationship with him that would violate her presumed standing as a married woman.


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