Did you ever -not- want children before having them?


#1

Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being “attracted” to having them) before actually having them?


#2

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being "attracted" to having them) before actually having them?

[/quote]

Sure, as a teenager I did not specifically want children. When I got a few years older and started preparing for marriage, I did want children or at least was open to children.


#3

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being "attracted" to having them) before actually having them?

[/quote]

I didn't switch until I was pregnant.

I had wanted children when I got married but after a while I came to the conclusion that I would be a terrible mom and decided to never have any. DH kind of went along and we went so far as to try to get him a vasectomy. But he was in the military and they wouldn't do one unless you already had 3 kids and we didn't have the money for him to get one on civvy street.

Eventually I went off the pill, convinced that I'd never get pregnant. I was preggers 2 months later, greatly surprised and not a little scared. From the moment I felt baby move I fell in love and after that I wanted more and more kids.


#4

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being "attracted" to having them) before actually having them?

[/quote]

No, I'd always wanted to have kids (in an intellectual sense), but when we started actually allowing God to send us children, I was nervous as heck. I suspect that hubby wasn't too keen until we got pregnant.

When that pregnancy test was positive, it was unlike anything else I've ever experienced. :eek: and :D at the same time.


#5

I had a friend who didn't want children, or maybe one. Then she had one....and now she has six. This is not an unusual story. I think it is fairly common among women who clue in a little earlier in life concerning what a serious obligation motherhood is! It depends on whether you are initially more struck by the magnitude of the investment, or the magnitude of the payoff, because they're both immense! :D


#6

[quote="EasterJoy, post:5, topic:223321"]
I had a friend who didn't want children, or maybe one. Then she had one....and now she has six. This is not an unusual story. I think it is fairly common among women who clue in a little earlier in life concerning what a serious obligation motherhood is! It depends on whether you are initially more struck by the magnitude of the investment, or the magnitude of the payoff, because they're both immense! :D

[/quote]

:thumbsup: Yep I know JUST what that feels like! Would have wanted more...didn't have time, unfortunately.


#7

Oh sure, I even said to my wife when I bought my sporty car "We won't need any more seats than this, after all it's not like we're gonna be Catholic!"

Now I'm looking at passenger vans. As it turns out, God is not mocked.


#8

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being "attracted" to having them) before actually having them?

[/quote]

I'm the oposite. I always wanted children but these days I'm so sure. They take up a lot of time and at my age it would be more difficult to adjust to the change.


#9

I always knew that I wanted kids someday. I had a very strong desire to be a wife and mother from a very young age.

My sister in law is a different story. Her and my BIL were very against having children. They didn't think they'd be good parents, and SIL simply felt no maternal instinct. (But they love their dogs and cat.) Just recently, they've changed their minds and they are considering having a baby. They're still not completely sure, but for them to even be considering it is a huge step for them.


#10

Yes, I didn't want kids when I was growing up. As I was discerning marriage I reluctantly decided that if I was called to marriage I must also be called to motherhood. (I could do all the practical stuff and was told that I would make a great parent). I did however entertain fantasies that we would not be able to have children for a while. :rolleyes: I know young and stupid. I eventually came around to wanting to have my husbands children, at least intellectually. I got pregnant on our honeymoon (sweet irony) and have realized I found my true vocation. :thumbsup:


#11

[quote="Steadfast_love, post:7, topic:223321"]
Oh sure, I even said to my wife when I bought my sporty car "We won't need any more seats than this, after all it's not like we're gonna be Catholic!"

Now I'm looking at passenger vans. As it turns out, God is not mocked.

[/quote]

:yup::rotfl::wave::extrahappy:

Indeed.


#12

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being "attracted" to having them) before actually having them?

[/quote]

My wife did. She did not want children and was somewhat upset when she found out she was pregnant for the first time.

We are now expecting our 6th child anyday now :)


#13

Not ever, but always, did I not want children, from the dawn of time to the present day.

Several relationships ended over this issue. I do not blame being childfree by choice for the breakup of relationships. None of my relationships ever had staying power.

I would be an ever bigger fool to have children, because children deserve an intact family.

Children? No. Never ever.


#14

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
did you ever -not- want children before having them?

[/quote]

Yes, I never wanted children. I can't say that having a child enriched my life any better. I do love my son deeply though.


#15

I never wanted children, my husband would have liked them but accepted that we would not have them. (we were not catholic at this time but converted later)

I woke up one morning when I was 27 with a desperate urge to have a child for no reason I could explain. My husband was delighted but said we had to wait a month to see if I still felt the same. I did and we now have a beautiful daughter.

Soon after she was born I had a growth on my ovaries and had to have them removed so if I had not had child then it would have been too late.

It is one of the inexplicable events in our life over the last few years that convinced us that God was watching for us and the catholic church was where we belonged.


#16

[quote="HeWillProvide, post:1, topic:223321"]
Did anyone switch from not wanting children (or, not being "attracted" to having them) before actually having them?

[/quote]

I was the 2nd oldest of a large family and most of my free time was spent caring for younger sibs and I swore I would delay or avoid having children. Married at 19, 3 kids by the time I was 23, nature took over and no more except foster. The big joke about family planning of any kind is you can plan all you want, but God, and sometimes mother nature, have other plans.

about the only thing of value I have learned on the topic through bitter experience wrestling wtih God is he is in charge in this arena. Trust in God. Any other attitude that tries to give directions to God is bound to fail and lead to far more heartache than anyone needs.

Jesus, I trust in You.


#17

I grew up thinking that I’d never have any children. Over a long process that involved much prayer and discernment, I did eventually decide that I was being called to the vocation of marriage. However, the part about having children seemed more like a responsibility than a desire. I thought that babies were boring, and I didn’t know how to relate to older children.

I really don’t know why my husband and I decided to try for a baby. I can’t say that I had some kind of huge change of attitude. All I can say is that, as soon as my son was born (well, more like about 24 hours later–I did have some recovery to do!) I was so ridiculously in love with him that I’ve never looked back. My life is far better now that I have him, and I already have another one on the way!


#18

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