I am not happy with the way I treat my wife and I am not proud of it and I do not know how to break the cycle. By that I mean that it is as if everytime she says something my defenses go up and I get on the defensive right away and get an attitude in my voice and it causes us to have disagreements and fights for no reason. It ruins the entire day as she gets mad at me for this and starts arguing and the day is a constant battle to get back up hill. I apologize, but still the hurt is still there. I do not want to make her mad, I do not want to fight, but it is as if I have no control over this. (If anyone has read any of my other posts you know that my wife stays at home with our 3 children - 1 in school - and that I work 2 jobs) I know that both of us are stressed, but I do not want to use that as a crutch. Stressed or not, that stress should be left at the door and I should treasure every moment that I have with my wife and children, but I let my mood, my being tired affect how I am at home. It is as if when it rains it pours. Nothing is going in the right direction. I cannot get this ship going straight, it as if I want to not be defensive, but once the situation comes up, I cannot avoid it. I try to joke around, but my mannerisms are such that it does not come off this way. It is as if I cannot even joke around and others will know that I am. Am I depressed? I am so full of despair, just wondering when everyone is going to have enough of me and my moods. Does anyone have any suggestions (specific suggestions) that I can do to break this cycle?