[quote=JMJ Theresa]My mom babysat the neighborhood until I was six, then she went to nursing school for a LPN. Then, a couple years later, she went to school part time, worked part time, and studied the rest of the time. She graduated first in her nursing class!! My dad was a teacher, first in Catholic schools (poorly paid) and then in public (much better). He coached three sports and taught summer school. To say the least, my parents weren’t available much.
During Mom’s school/work days, we didn’t see her. It lasted six years. After graduating, she resumed fulltime hours. Shortly after, my sister had trouble with drugs, promiscuity, shoplifting, and my brother became an alcoholic. We went from almost nightly family dinners to eating in front of the tv. While I didn’t get into serious trouble, I remember being very lonely for my mom.
However, my parents paid for my college and my brothers. We had braces and extra cars to drive in high school. My mother grew up in poverty and felt she was providing a better life for us. My grandmother lived in and was our housekeeper/babysitter.
In any case, I was wondering if your experience growing up has affected how you structure your family. For me, it has made me determined to be a SAHM. I’m sure for others who had a more positive experience, working motherhood is just the way to go.
Or, has it not really affected you one way or another–you are just adapting to your life’s circumstances?
I don’t want to be critical of anyone’s choices. I’m just wondering how our children will feel in twenty years.
My mom was a SAHM. She suffers from agoraphobia(fear of going outside) so she really did not have a choice. I wish she could have worked, because then maybe I would have had a "normal "childhood. Her agoraphobia prevented her from coming to my sports games, and going to parents night, attending family gatherings, and going to mass. So yes she was home, but was she really there for me? She had a sickness that was beyond her control. She has/had a huge cross to carry. I had LOTS of resentment towards her because for many years I did not understand why she was the way she was. Don’t get me wrong. She is a beautiful, gentle soul who would give the shirt off her back for anyone. We just didn’t have a good mother/daughter relationship while growing up. She did the best she could, and I have forgiven her. My resentment is gone, and our relationship is better. One thing I am so thankful to her (and my dad) is giving me the gift of knowing how beautiful our Catholic faith is.
A woman I currently work with had 2 children, a boy and a girl. She stayed home to raise them and entered the work force once they were grown. Geuss what? The daughter turned out great. Graduated top of her class and is married. The son…Well he is 22 years old and addicted to crystal meth. These people are wonderful parents. They wonder where they went wrong as parents. They are doing everything in their power to help their son, and their minds are so troubled with worry. Please say a prayer for them.
Sometimes bad eggs come out of good families. Sometimes good eggs come out of bad families. I geuss all we can do is do the best we can and pray!!
My parents had 4 children. We all turned out pretty good. I once asked my dad what kept all of us 4 children on the right path. His response,“Prayer.”