differences of faith and friendship


#1

Over the past several years, I came to my decision to convert to Catholicism, and I have had a great deal of support from my close family, my husband and many friends. The problem is that I have one friend (she is baptist) who feels the need to understand or “get” why I’m converting. It isn’t something I can explain easily, but I know that I am making the decision that I am meant to make.

I haven’t spoken to my friend much since she voiced her anti-catholic beliefs to me, which are filled with misconceptions. I tried to talk to her about some of the misconceptions but she didn’t want to hear it, and her husband was even worse. They were guests in our home and told my husband and I that the faith we are choosing is silly, and wrong. It was especially hurtful since my husband was raised Catholic. They didn’t even seem to realize how hurtful they were.

I would hate to lose a friend but I can’t handle her disrepect. I am not sure what to say to her, or if I should say anything at all.

Should I say something?

Jamie


#2

It may be that this move could cost you friendships.

That said, whenever your friend says something like that the Catholic faith is silly, keep plugging. Often people like this cannot sustain anything more than a one-liner. “You seem to believe the Catholic Church teaches a lot of things that she has never taught.” "Where do people get the idea that Catholics aren’t Christians . . . worship Mary . . . (fill in the blank). When she poses a question for which you do not know the answer, tell her you will find it out. One fact that I have found shivers the timbers of evanglicals/fundamentalists is the statement: Did you know that scriptural inerrancy is a Catholic doctrine. Of course, you need to be prepared to explain WHY and how Catholics hold a higher respect for Scripture than Protestants, so you need to do your apologetical homework.


#3

[quote=auroraj42]I haven’t spoken to my friend much since she voiced her anti-catholic beliefs to me, which are filled with misconceptions. I tried to talk to her about some of the misconceptions but she didn’t want to hear it, and her husband was even worse. They were guests in our home and told my husband and I that the faith we are choosing is silly, and wrong. It was especially hurtful since my husband was raised Catholic. They didn’t even seem to realize how hurtful they were.
[/quote]

Jamie,

I would tell your friend that you value her as a friend but her misconceptions about Catholicism are a wedge that friendship. Tell her that she has been fed a load of lies about the church. Give (or loan) her the Catechism of the Catholic Church and ask her to show you the main points she disagrees with in Church teachings and you will be happy to discuss them privately with her if she would be open to discussion.


#4

I’ve been trying to learn as much as I can so that I am prepared when she makes statements like that…I’m just at a loss for when she and her husband tell us that our faith is silly…

I try to set a good example and be respectful about her faith and beliefs, but I feel the need to explain to her that I’m trying to be respectful and that I expect her to act the same way.

Maybe our friendship is meant to be lost, because I will not lose my relationship with God for her.

does this make me mean?


#5

And ultimately, if it does cost you your friendship, remember, the servant is never greater than the master. As He was rejected, so will you be. I have to remind myself of this when I “wonder why” people just don’t listen - people choose not to listen to the truth Christ brought, so I can not expect everyone to listen to the truth of Christ that I try to bring to them either.

God Bless,
Maria


#6

This would be a great topic for Alex Jones to join in. He was a Protestant minister who just wanted to know more about the early Church fathers. I’m not sure how long his journey took, but he and 54 of his congregation were welcomed into the Church at Easter Vigil a few years ago. He suffered, too. Even members of his own family disowned him. He is currently in Diaconate formation for the Archdiocese of Detroit, and I gotta tell you, parishes will probably engage in boxing matches to get him ;).

What I’m trying to say is there are non-Catholics and there are anti-Catholics. The anti-Catholic is bound to disagree on any Catholic topic. Even if you say the sky is blue, they will retort with, “Show me that in Scripture.” I have experienced people like this in the recent past. If your friend is toward that bent, you may either have to ask her to refrain from talking about religion in order to save your friendship. If she doesn’t, you may end up losing her. It happens. My husband and I are cradle Catholics, but not practicing until about 10 years ago. Even our own familys have drifted from us. My family thinks we’re religious nuts (I don’t see that as a bad thing), and my husband’s family is so far removed from the Church, that they didn’t think his ordination to the Diaconate was any big thing - they didn’t show.

People will fall away, but Our Lord always sends us people who love us and understand us. Obviously, He sent you here.:love:


#7

Detroit Sue,
Well said. One should never let frienship come between them and God. A friend who tries to pull you away from God is no friend at all. Love them, pray for them but do not let them separate you from God.


#8

I would suggest taking your friend to lunch. Tell her that you love her and value her friendship - that you know that she loves you and is concerned for your well being, and that she is offending you and jeopardizing the friendship. Ask if she is willing to attend RCIA with you. If not, I’d move any discussion of religion to the written word (and I mean real pen and paper letters, not email).

Pray for her, and let her see the Light in your life!


#9

Thank you everyone, my friend lives in another state, and I don’t really see her much anymore, but until her statements we were talking everyday. I’ve tried contacting her, but she doesn’t ever give me any response. Perhaps this means that our friendship is over, but I will pray that she can accept me as I am, if our friendship really meant anything to her. I will also pray for her husband who is a lapsed Catholic, and I believe he is a source of her animosity toward the Church.

Thank you all!

Peace be with you,
Jamie


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