Hello everyone. Some of you may remember in the past I posted about how my DH and I tend to have very aggressive arguments. Fortunately we have been working on that and will probably go to counseling soon (we're on a waiting list with Catholic Charities). But a big huge part of the stress that plays into the fights has to do with our financial situation.
We have been married about 1.5 years and my DH still has not found a full-time job. When we were engaged he couldn't get a job because of circumstances entirely out of his control. But those barriers have been removed since then and he still can't find a job.
He has been fortunately doing some temp work and catering on some weekends, but the vast majority of the financial burden falls on me and my job. He is looking for jobs, sending out resumes, etc. but I really suspect he's not working nearly as hard at it as he could. I know the economy is terrible but I really don't think he's sending out more than 2 to 3 resumes a week. When I send him job links or resources he usually "forgets" to follow-up on them until I remind him.
Also a huge factor that could help us is to look for jobs in another state. Right now we live in a very very high cost of living area. I have spoken to him about the benefits of moving somewhere cheaper, and he agrees on the surface but then never takes any action to follow up on that plan. This week I sent him links to some job opportunities in a neighboring state and he said he just doesn't "feel excited" about those jobs.
This is taking a tremendous toll on my mental health. This area and my job are high stress and we are barely getting by. And on top of that all I can think about is how I want to start having children.
I just don't know what to do about the situation. I have tried begging and nagging but I've also tried giving him space, freedom, and encouragement. Still nothing seems to really motivate him to try harder or think outside the box.
He is a very loving, generous, kind man. I love him very much and want to be supportive but I am starting to feel very resentful. I don't know what my role is in all of this as a Catholic woman. I don't expected to be "taken care of" by some wealthy man. But I do expect him to bust his butt just like I do. And I do want him to be thinking about his future family and not just his personal job preferences. Is there anything I can do other than pray? I'm not used to feeling this helpless.