Maybe some of the nice people here can give me some guidance. I’ve basically been married for 15 months, and I’m very unhappy. I’ll just briefly list some things that have happened in our marriage that are killing me, and it seems impossible to carry a conversation over.
The thing that hurts me most happened last week. Our “marital” experiences are few and far between, and I’ve been working like crazy trying to give her what she claims she wants in that area. Last week was the first time we were ‘together’ in almost two months, and when we were done, we were laying in bed talking, and out come the words “don’t take this the wrong way, but if you were ever paralyzed like Christopher Reeves was, I would never miss doing that.” It broke my heart. She insists that it isn’t me, and dismisses me as too sensitive. I shudder to think of what life would be like if I said something so disrespectful to her.
To make #1 above worse, in about the 3rd month of our marriage, she began talking about how fantastic the ‘marital’ relations were with her ex-husband. Things like “say what you will about [him], but he sure knew how to please a woman.” Telling her friends right in front of me “I don’t know why [he] would have cheated on me because he could have had me at home any time he wanted.” She has even said “when I was with [him] one of the nice things was knowing that I was always going to have a good ‘marital’ (bedroom) life.” She says all this often, no matter how much I say it hurts me, and expects me to believe that it is her and not me (she says she’s changed physically, and its not my fault). Of course, I don’t get all the extra-marital practice that he had five other women (that she knows about, anyway). Still, I think it is disrespectful and kind of cold—I doubt she would take kindly to the reverse.
She has started mocking me a lot in public. She, of course, calls me too sensitive when I tell her it bothers me. I overheard her mother tell her that she shouldn’t be mean like that to me, since I’ve treated her great and don’t deserve it. Her reply was 'he does treat me good, I was just trying to get him to _____." (Translation: Embarrassing him may get him to do what I want.) I never acknowledge I heard this, considering they didn’t know I could hear. I left the area, since I’m not an eavesdropper.
Anyways, it’s not my intention to complain about or insult my wife, whom I love. So I’ll stop there before this seems too insulting. I just ask for some guidance and prayers.
Thank you, and God bless you all.