First of all, let me start by saying that I’m 31 years old, and I live on my own. Ever since my mom died back in January, my dad has been doing some things, that I’d rather not discuss here because I don’t want to hurt him any further, that are very offensive and upsetting to me. He has also been being controling towards me, even when I’m not with him.
The other day, in the truck, on the way back from the doctor, he started talking about the dental work he wants me to have done, which I can’t afford, because I’m on a fixed income, and my lousy government insurance won’t cover it. I disobeyed him when he told me to smile, so that he could see one of the bad teeth, because I knew he was going to start on me again, and I was ashamed of the bad tooth. He basicly said that no matter what, that I’m getting this dental work done, and I’m paying for it. I tried to explain to him again that I couldn’t afford it, and he just said that he didn’t want to talk about it any more, and turned the truck’s stereo up really loud. This made me angry, and I started trying to find the switch to turn it down so I could talk to him.
Being a new Catholic, who is still learning, I’m not sure if what I did falls under mortal sin or not, even though it falls under the fourth commandment. If I have committed mortal sin, it may be at least a week until I can see my regular confessor, and I feel incapable of perfect contrition because of fear of Hell. I’m worried that I’m damned to Hell until I can see my confessor, and if that’s the case, I’m worried that there’s no point of even praying. My plans for tomorrow’s Mass are to go to Mass in shame, and to not receive Communion, unless I’m absolutely sure I’m not in mortal sin. Being scrupulous, and having OCD, this is even harder for me. What should I do?