Difficulty with love


Well, here goes my story…
In 2011 (when I was a naive 13 year old virgin promised to God), I went to a Catholic camp and met an amazing Catholic guy. I had never met any guy so on fire for his faith. He would kneel and pray for 20 minutes after Confession, he spent lots of his free time in the Chapel, and he treated everyone with respect. On the last day of camp, he asked for my email adress and gave me a hug good-bye. Needless to say, I fell in love (stupid me :banghead: ) and I started praying for him twice a day. I did this for one whole year, hoping that I would see him at camp the following year.
The 2012 camp week finally came, but I was quite disappointed to find that he didn’t come. During the week, though, I learned that he was a guy that all the girls really like. Then I decided that if lots of girls like him, surely lots of them pray for him, so I quit praying for him.
A couple months later, a friend from camp emailed me saying that she say this guy at a retreat recently. He told her that he had had a loss of faith in the past couple months and he hadn’t been receiving the Eucharist for a while, either. I felt bad that I had quit praying for him, so I resumed my praying.
In December 2012, I told another friend about these struggles and she told me I ought to just call him and see how he is doing. I took her advice, I made the call, and I spoke with him. He didn’t remember me, but he was pleasantly surprised that I took the time to call him. :o

So my question is:what should I do now?? He doesn’t even remember me, so should I even bother praying for him? Plus, (I can’t believe I’m saying this) I love him; it truly takes a lot of love to pray for someone that much, and now that I love him, is my vow of mental and phsyical virginity being compromised???:confused:

P.S.: Sorry if this was a crazy, confusing post, but I needed some advice. :o


as a 16 year old girl, i can understand your pain. Yes, keep praying for him. It will help him with his journey.

As for your virginity, i have absolutely no idea. Message me if you want to talk


A year and a half ago you were a “naive 13 year old” and now you are a worldly 14 year old? :wink: (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

There is certainly no harm in praying for someone to have faith. It is no sin to be “in love” with someone as long as you keep it in perspective and keep your thoughts Christian and not carnal.


Firstly... it's quite easy at a young age to become passionate about someone else and to do so in a way that feels like love, because up until then the only people we had any sort of feelings about were our parents (and possibly siblings, although sometimes they can drive us nuts instead!) and clearly what we feel for our parents isn't any sort of 'romantic' love so we don't have anything to measure our new feelings against.

Yes, you care about this guy. That's good and it's healthy. But are you properly 'in love' or are you overwhelmed with feelings that are new and exciting and as yet unique - like you've never felt this way really about anyone else ?

You're 14. You're still far too young and you've had far too little time with this guy to be sure of what you're feeling. Clearly it's not mutual, so you need to look at the situation a little more un-emotionally.

If you're honest with yourself, you'll probably come to the conclusion that this is more of a crush.

I recommend that you try not to spend so much time dreaming about this guy and how special you think he is. It's not going to achieve anything other than make you feel sad or lonely, or worse become at least a little obsessed with him... Yes, you can pray for his spiritual welfare. Yes, you can pray for good things to happen to him. But don't exclude other people or make him extra special in a way that doesn't reflect real life. And also, don't forget that you've still got time to be a big kid... these are valuable years and you won't get them back. Have fun, play, laugh, do girly stuff, enjoy your friends and your life, don't try to grow up too quickly or get too serious about things. Trust me when I say that, as an adult, I would give almost anything to have a few more years of not having to worry about being a grown up with all the things that means I have to do. Don't lose your time pining for a guy you might never actually see again - use it to be happy instead. I'm sure that what Our Lord wants for you.


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