I just found out that one of my close relatives is living in a one room shack with her small children and husband. They have no running water (they have an arrangement with a neighbor for toilet use) and use a woodstove for heat. They have a small refrigerator and use a microwave for cooking.
It’s one of those bad situations in which the couple continually makes stupid choices. In particular the husband is very contentious and lacks a lot of common sense. The wife (my close relative) is very, very passive and does whatever he says. The husband has some limitations (he can’t read and has poor social skills–adult ADD), but also indulges in poor morals at times, esp. lying. He also keeps his wife isolated (but, she goes along with it–very passive) and won’t allow her to see her parents or go to a Catholic Church.
I dont know if I should send some money to her in light of their poor choices. Or, if I should stay uninvolved. My primary concern is that if she receives some financial help, it will just prolong the marriage (which is an invalid marriage–second for her, third for him). I just want her to take the kids and go home to mom and dad.
Anyone have experience with relatives in this kind of dysfunction and in poverty?