Hello, I first posted this in the Meet and Greet section, but someone suggested I post it here.
I’m a lifelong Mormon who’s now disaffected and searching for a spiritual home. I prefer truth over comfort and many years of angst, agnosticism and finally serious study have led me to Catholicism. I feel drawn to learn more, with an incessant, nagging urge to do so. Maybe that’s God. I’ve never felt God’s presence in any recognizable way and long to have that experience, a desire that comes from a standard Mormon upbringing that emphasizes good feelings as evidence of truth and the reality of God in our lives. Feelings aside, a careful review of the evidence has given me enough material on which to base a hope that the answer lies in Catholicism. This, along with the sense of being drawn to learn more has brought me here. I have spoken with a couple of priests in the past year and have toured the local parish church and would love to enroll in the RCIA. The problem is that I’m married to a lovely woman who I love deeply, but she is a committed Mormon from an anti-catholic, Mormon family. Our marriage was consecrated in a Mormon temple, which means in my wife’s eyes or marriage is eternal. She values that. We also have two boys (5 and 8 years old) and she wants them to have a christian upbringing and given her upbringing thinks the Mormon church is the place that should take place. But I no longer consider myself to be Mormon. This has caused immense tension in our household. I want to support my wife, but I can hardly bring myself to walk into a Mormon church without acute mental stress. There is some hope since my wife is completely uninterested in doctrine and theology, but rather values her faith solely on practical grounds. Her pragmatic approach could lead her to be open to other alternatives if I could persuade her that something else will make us a stronger, happier family. But Catholicism will be an extremely tough sell given the extreme anti-catholic spirit in Mormonism that we were both raised with.
So what should I do? Do I go ahead and attend RCIA classes without her? Do I encourage her to attend with me? She’ll likely say no. If so, do I go anyway? I do not wish to strain my marriage further. I love my wife and our sons need a stable, happy home. But I am definitely not happy and live daily with a profound spiritual angst that, I’m sorry to say, has contributed to lots of extreme anger on my part. I long for peace. But I’m torn over the possibility that finding my inner peace and finding God will result in even worse marital relations at home. This is a knot I can’t unravel. So I’m seeking advice from Catholics. Hopefully some of you have had similar experiences. I welcome any responses from all who care to reply. Thank you.